You have to be kidding me

Don Banks reports for SI:

The Vikings could go a lot of different ways with their first of two first-round picks, but finding a big-play receiving threat to replace Randy Moss still seems the most logical place to start. Believe it or not, despite the team’s depth at running back, Texas’ Cedric Benson is also in the mix.

What is in the water at Winter Park? I know Mike Tice is no genius, but considering that he’s got FOUR solid running backs that he only uses 15 times a game against some of the worst run defenses in the league, why would you even THINK about drafting a running back. I don’t care if he’s the love child of Barry Sanders and Earl Cambell, for the love of Bud Grant, get another wide receiver!

This has to be a smoke screen. It just has to.


Do they know nothing about women?

I have to question the logic expressed by Pharyngurl and some of my other critics. They assert that I only got my column thanks to my wealthy father while simultaneously insisting that there has historically been a dearth of attractive women with an interest in volunteering for use as my personal sex toy. Ergo, my presumed bitterness with the sex in general, which, of course, is the only possible explanation for my outrageous (to them) anti-suffragism.

Now, even if one ignores the fact that barely half of one percent of America’s women watch Bill O’Reilly, much less care what someone writes on the Internet, I have no doubt that I could write columns demanding that every literate woman be sent to the guillotine and it would actually INCREASE the number of willing and eager volunteers for short-term sex toy status. And most of them would be liberal Democrats!

I suppose that somewhere out there in the vast multiplicity of universes that surround us, there is a place where wealthy, good-looking young men require more than thirty seconds to find attractive women interested in having sex with them. But not in this particular space-time continuum.

See Tucker Max if you still can’t get this concept through your little socialist brain.

I further note that not a single critic has even attempted to make the case that the female franchise has been a positive step for economic or individual liberties in this nation or any other. But if you prefer to simply call me a loser who can’t get laid, well, that’s effective too. Very persuasive, really.


The myth of voting and other nonsense

Apparently Miss Orac managed to pull herself off the fainting couch long enough to stick her pretty little foot even further into her pretty little mouth. Now she’s insisting that I’m not a member of the Taliban – no, really – but that I’m a Taliban wannabee.

Right. I so want to grow a beard and figure out where Mecca is. And if only I could convert my club’s field into an execution grounds, how happy I would be!

Orac is so caught up in his outrage over my anti-suffrage position that he hasn’t stopped to consider that there is no connection whatsoever between voting and liberty. None. By his reckoning, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were also Taliban wannabees. I’m not just talking about the obvious fact that women were permitted to vote in Zimbabwe, the Soviet Union and Saddam Hussein’s Iraq either, but the fact that many adults are not permitted to vote in the freest countries in the world.

For you see, a resident alien is not permitted to vote in almost any Western country. Switzerland is rightly considered more free than the United States by the Heritage Foundation, and yet 17 percent of its population are non-citizen permanent residents. These are people who have gone to great effort and expense – it is very difficult to get residence there – and are pleased to trade their right to vote for greater individual and economic liberty.

Being a typically parochial American focused on the superficiality of rights rather than their substance, this means of examining the matter would not appear to have occurred to Orac or those of his mindset.

There are three possible results of women’s suffrage:

(1) The women’s vote has improved the nation by enhancing liberty.
(2) The women’s vote has harmed the nation by degrading liberty.
(3) The women’s vote has not effected the nation for better or for worse.

If you believe (1), then of course you think I’m an evil lunatic. Feel free to try making that case and I’ll happily consider it. If you believe (3), then you have no reason to care if women are permitted to vote or not since it has made no difference. But, if you examine the historical evidence, you are very likely to conclude (2), in which case a failure to share my anti-suffrage position is either intellectual cowardice or the aforementioned preference for superficiality over substance.

As for the other inaccuracies scattered about in the comments, my column runs all day on WND and frequently for a second day, I have never, ever complained about Universal Press Syndicate – this is actually the SECOND time they’ve dropped a column of mine, by the way – my father has not been on the board of WND for years and far from being a criminal, was recently offered a massive settlement by the state, (which has already admitted that he never owed them any money), in a desperate and unsuccessful attempt to avoid the jury trial he has been seeking for four years.

Men certainly have many flaws, but they also have no shortage of writers willing, even eager, to point them out. I simply happen to be one of the only male columnists who isn’t afraid to provide a rational counterpoint to the many, many female writers who make a living off their irrational misandry.

As for my “whining and bitching about other conservative columnists”, I seldom criticize the genuine conservatives. Can anyone recall the last time I went after Ann Coulter, Pat Buchanan, Dinesh D’Souza, Ramesh Ponnuru or even George Will? I respect them, even when I disagree with them. It’s the strong government neosocialists who fraudulently pass themselves off as conservatives that will often be found in the crosshairs of my keyboard.

UPDATE – Pharyngurl and a few others are equally weak kneed over this. Someone get the smelling salts! The prize, however, has to go to Burningbird, who produced this gem of cluelessness:

Leaving aside such breathless leaps of inference, again if we look at history, we’ll see that women have campaigned vigorously against slavery, for free schools and libraries, accessible medical care, and for the rights of workers. In fact, women were some of the most vocal anti-slavery campaigners, and the earliest union members. So if we are extrapolating from women’s activism to a specific political and financial system, women have historically favored a more *socialistic form of government and society.

In other words, generally more freedom (if you leave out that little war on the American front), less freedom, more government ownership of resources, less freedom, and less freedom. She then relies on Wikipedia to claim that fascism isn’t socialism, which completely ignores both the historical Fascist program as well as the lifelong socialism of Giovanni Gentile and Benito Mussolini. In fact, Mussolini received his title of Il Duce as a leader of the Italian Socialists long before he founded the Fascist Party and the only reason he abandoned his positions as the editor of Avanti! and a member of the National Executive Committee of the Socialist Party was his change of opinion on the issue of Italian participation in World War I.

Five Facts about Fascism:

“1. Fascism was a doctrine well elaborated years before it was named.

As an intellectual edifice, Fascism was mostly in place by about 1910. Historically, the taproot of Fascism lies in the 1890s–in the “Crisis of Marxism” and in the interaction of nineteenth-century revolutionary socialism with fin de siècle anti-rationalism and anti-liberalism.

2. Fascism changed dramatically between 1919 and 1922, and again changed dramatically after 1922.

Many of the older treatments of Fascism are misleading because they cobble together Fascist pronouncements, almost entirely from after 1922, reflecting the pressures on a broad and flexible political movement solidifying its rule by compromises, and suppose that by this method they can isolate the character and motivation of Fascist ideology. It is as if we were to reconstruct the ideas of Bolshevism by collecting the pronouncements of the Soviet government in 1943, which would lead us to conclude that Marxism owed a lot to Ivan the Terrible and Peter the Great.

3. Fascism was a movement with its roots primarily in the left.

Its leaders and initiators were secular-minded, highly progressive intellectuals, hard-headed haters of existing society and especially of its most bourgeois aspects.

4. Fascism was intellectually sophisticated.

Here we should note a difference between Marxism and Fascism. The leader of a Marxist political movement is always considered by his followers to be a master of theory and a theoretical innovator on the scale of Copernicus. Fascists were less prone to any such delusion. Mussolini was more widely-read than Lenin and a better writer, but Fascist intellectuals did not consider him a major contributor to the body of Fascist theory, more a leader of genius who could distil theory into action.

5. Fascists were radical modernizers.

By temperament they were neither conservative nor reactionary. Fascists despised the status quo and were not attracted by a return to bygone conditions.”

In other words, Burningbird, the only reason you suffered whiplash is because you don’t know anything about European history or the political ideology of the Left. Arguing that Fascism is not closely akin to Socialism is as absurd as attempting to assert that there is no relationship between Bolshevism and Menshevism. The only serious difference between Socialism and National Socialism is, obviously, the nationalist element. Stalin’s brand of communism was equally nationalistic – in opposition to Trotsky’s loyalty to the concept of world revolution – but few ar
e silly enough to argue that Stalin’s “National Communism” was the polar opposite of the Marxist-Leninism from which it sprang. But, as David Ramsey Steele explains, 70 years of indoctrination by socialist academics eager to wash the blame for National Socialism off the Left’s hands leads the historically ignorant to this confusion.

The reason that a little knowledge – courtesy of Google or Wikipedia – can be more dangerous than none is that barely informed individuals such as Burningbird actually believe they know what they’re talking about. They don’t.


Ladies and gentlemen, your public schools

From Drudge:

A 16-year-old disabled girl was punched and forced to engage in videotaped sexual acts with several boys in a high school auditorium as dozens of students watched, according to witnesses. Authorities are investigating and no charges have been filed in the alleged attack last month at Mifflin High School. Four boys suspected of involvement were sent home and have not returned to class.

Also, the principal, Regina Crenshaw, was suspended and will be fired for not calling police, school officials said. And three assistant principals were suspended and will be reassigned to other schools….

The girl was forced to perform oral sex on at least two boys, according to statements from school officials, obtained by The Columbus Dispatch. Part of the alleged assault was videotaped by a student who had a camera for a school project.School officials found the girl bleeding from the mouth. An assistant principal cautioned the girl’s father against calling 911 to avoid media attention, the statements said.

Yes, I’m sure reassigning those assistant principals is going to solve a lot of problems. If I’d been that girl’s father, that assistant principal would have been bleeding from the mouth himself.

But the school’s response should come as no surprise. After all, if people were forced to face the reality of what is happening in their child’s school, their consciences might not allow them to continue sending their kids there.


No surprise there

I found this in my inbox:

Due to lack of interest, I have decided to give up the “left vs right” debate blog. There was plenty of interest in debate from the right, but the lefties wanted no part of it – with one exception. A special thank you to David from ISOU, who was the only left-leaning person who was willing to debate. Unfortunately for us, David just didn’t have the time to spare.

There’s a real shocker. A complete avoidance of contact with its enemies is the only way that the Left can maintain its delusional pretense at intellectual superiority.

Not that there’s anything wrong with insult-slinging. It’s good sport. But when that’s all you’ve got, well, that round object below is called the dustbin of history and you’re about to be circular-filed.


Please do not set the players on fire

You wouldn’t think anyone could make Oakland Raiders fans look genteel, but at the San Siro, the stadium shared by Milan and Inter Milan, with Milan leading 3-0 in the aggregate, an idiot Interista threw something and apparently hit Dida, the Milan goalie, in the face. I wasn’t sure if it was a spark from the nearby flare that hit the ground just before he collapsed or another object too small to see, but either way, he was down and out.

I’m not sure what was going on, as the crowd was already going crazy after Inter had a goal disallowed.

After that, the referee wisely decided to call the game early. It looks as if the game will be awarded to Milan and the rossoneri will rightly advance, but UEFA really has to figure out a way to crack down on this sort of thing. This penchant for throwing things already reached the point of absurdity several years ago, but this is over-the-top insane.


Taliban… Taliban… Taliban, I wanna rock you….

Orac doesn’t know so very much:

I thought the Taliban only existed in Afghanistan, but I was wrong. We apparently have our very own aspiring Taliban wannabes right here in the U.S., even in a state as liberal as Minnesota.

Don’t believe me?

Read this disgusting tidbit from a “conservative” blogger calling himself Vox Popoli. Some of the comments are even scarier.

But don’t read it unless you have a strong stomach.

Let’s see. Christian |= Muslim. Libertarian |= Totalitarian. Anti-death penalty |= pro-death penalty. True, I think women’s suffrage was a tragic mistake for the nation, but then, I don’t recall the Taliban permitting men to vote either. I only hope the poor dear didn’t faint when she encountered the “disgusting tidbit”.

But don’t let a wildly inaccurate analogy slow you down, Cecilia. Keep saying “Taliban” enough and perhaps you’ll be able convince someone that you know something about the world outside your small intestine.

Oh, and it should probably be noted that the Taliban actually began in the madrassas of Pakistan, many of which are still in operation. But let’s not get pedantic….


Mailvox: the other side

MW is moved to defend the homemakers:

I’ve never done this before, but VR’s comments caught my attention. You see, I’ve cleaned many toilets in my time and have “popped” ten babies so far. I have many aspirations, but they center around the vision my husband and I have for our family. We are trying to build a foundation that will stand for generations. This is a task that requires a mother who is focused and dedicated to that vision. This requires that a woman even has the foresight to appreciate the impact her mothering can have on future generations when she is dead and gone. Women today are short-sighted. They will do this for a corporation, but they won’t do it for their own family. The working world pays a woman for these things. A mother at home does it for love. Daycare can’t compare with real time mother love. Women are trading their birthright for a mess of pottage.

It saddens me that Christian women have joined the ranks looking to impact the world by means of a paycheck. Thriving families are a thing of the past because feminists have convinced today’s women that a mom at home is worthless, useless, senseless, and ignorant. I reject that drivel! I revel in the results of my decision every day as I see the happy faces around our dinner table and as I lie next to the man I love each night. Jesus said the greatest among us would be servants and that in losing our life we would find it. That is what real womanhood is all about…

She really sounds like a useless, worthless ignorant doormat, doesn’t she….


A truly wicked woman

Captain D tells a horror story:

My first wife planned her leaving for years, and like an idiot I continued to believe that things would work out if I just stayed for the sake of the children. Then she secretly attended a seminar “How to Leave your Man” at the local women and children’s shelter.

This is how I was almost set up.

One day I arrived home from work to find that the children had been sent to a friend’s place for the night. Nancy (the plotter) greated me with a kiss and a hug and said that she had arranged for us to have the evening alone “like old times”. She was cooking my favorite meal and presented me with a glass of wine and a gift of a new Tom Clancy paperback (Red Storm Rising as I recall).

Like a lamb going to slaughter, I sat happily in the living room – reading the novel and enjoying the wine while my sweetie cooked a “special dinner.” Absorbed in the book, I hardly noticed her walk to the front window of the house and look out as if expecting something.

At just the exact moment, she said, “Oh Honey” – and I looked up to see that she had a brick in her hand. She took the brick and smashed the glass in the grandfather clock and then started screaming and advancing towards me with the obvious intent of hitting me.

The front door burst open and there stood her girlfriend with a video camera… but the timing was off.

I was supposed to be caught in some staged physical confrontation – to facilitate spousal abuse charges. The girls were a little too quick, so all the video would have shown was me sitting in the chair, looking up from my novel in a confused and surprised manner.

I’ll not go on for much longer, but in the end I traded the house and my pension for my children – and Nancy ended up going from man to man looking for a yacht owner. She finally found a sucker in Mexico, and I raised my three children alone. But if their timing had of been a little better, I might have been doing some jail time.

All thanks to an evil woman, and a seminar provided by an institution supported with public tax dollars. If I were 25 years old again, I don’t think I’d ever get married.

I’m just amazed that Nancy darling didn’t end up having someone go AT&T on her. If not on behalf of Captain D, then on behalf of someone else further down the victim chain.


Prognostications

Der Ursprunglich Kunstlichzunder presents a few predictions:

EUROPE: While it’s tempting to look upon Europe as the land of quiche-eating metrosexuals, if you do that you’re forgetting that the continent that gave us vichy water, brie, and Vidkun Quisling also gave us vikings, nazis, and Attila the Hun. Right now Europe is about 20 years overdue for the sort of convulsive mass slaughter that we generally refer to as “history,” and while the Balkan adventures of the 1990s vented the pressure somewhat, we’re still but a few more Theo van Gogh’s away from Götterdämmerung Time. If the E.U. succeeds in uniting it may be able to stall or suppress ethnic and religious tensions for a few decades, in much the same way (and by using much the same methods) as the Soviet Union kept the lid on things from 1945 to 1990, but this will only make the anti-immigrant eruption that much worse when it finally breaks out. The eventual breakup of the E.U. will kill millions.

DOMESTIC TRAVEL: A few days ago the U.S. government announced that American citizens returning from Canada, Mexico, or the Caribbean will henceforth be required to show their passports before reentering the country. Many frequent flyers are already in the habit of carrying their passports whenever they take domestic flights, just because it makes it so much easier to get through airport security. Further, with all the concern over illegal immigration, there is now loud and persistent talk in government circles of creating and mandating the carrying of a national I.D. card.

In the end I don’t know whether it will be in the name of homeland security, immigration control, or energy and transportation policy, but I figure we have at least 10 and at most 15 years left before it will no longer be possible for American citizens to move freely around their own country without government permission. “Show us your papers, comrade!” But more on this in a future column.

Hint: Your own car will be the snitch that rats you out.

My only thought is that empires usually begin to die when they reach too far. With that in mind, the event that might bring about the violent implosion of the EU would be an attempt to swallow an unwilling Switzerland.