A truly wicked woman

Captain D tells a horror story:

My first wife planned her leaving for years, and like an idiot I continued to believe that things would work out if I just stayed for the sake of the children. Then she secretly attended a seminar “How to Leave your Man” at the local women and children’s shelter.

This is how I was almost set up.

One day I arrived home from work to find that the children had been sent to a friend’s place for the night. Nancy (the plotter) greated me with a kiss and a hug and said that she had arranged for us to have the evening alone “like old times”. She was cooking my favorite meal and presented me with a glass of wine and a gift of a new Tom Clancy paperback (Red Storm Rising as I recall).

Like a lamb going to slaughter, I sat happily in the living room – reading the novel and enjoying the wine while my sweetie cooked a “special dinner.” Absorbed in the book, I hardly noticed her walk to the front window of the house and look out as if expecting something.

At just the exact moment, she said, “Oh Honey” – and I looked up to see that she had a brick in her hand. She took the brick and smashed the glass in the grandfather clock and then started screaming and advancing towards me with the obvious intent of hitting me.

The front door burst open and there stood her girlfriend with a video camera… but the timing was off.

I was supposed to be caught in some staged physical confrontation – to facilitate spousal abuse charges. The girls were a little too quick, so all the video would have shown was me sitting in the chair, looking up from my novel in a confused and surprised manner.

I’ll not go on for much longer, but in the end I traded the house and my pension for my children – and Nancy ended up going from man to man looking for a yacht owner. She finally found a sucker in Mexico, and I raised my three children alone. But if their timing had of been a little better, I might have been doing some jail time.

All thanks to an evil woman, and a seminar provided by an institution supported with public tax dollars. If I were 25 years old again, I don’t think I’d ever get married.

I’m just amazed that Nancy darling didn’t end up having someone go AT&T on her. If not on behalf of Captain D, then on behalf of someone else further down the victim chain.