SF Freaks Gonna Freak

Dave McCarty, the head of the Hugo Awards, has been accused of sexual assault by several women in the literary ghetto formerly known as the science fiction community. The only real surprise is that children are not, as yet, reported to be involved:

There’s been a months-long campaign to discredit the Hugo Awards and Chengdu Worldcon from the establishment elites including cross-dresser John Scalzi, former SFWA president Mary Robinette Kowal, and Neil Gaiman again, which has caused many who have been disillusioned with Worldcon and the Hugo Awards to laugh at how inept this group in charge of science fiction publishing has become.

It was revealed through a chain of emails that several participants were disqualified from the Hugo Awards for the very woke identity politics that were championed by this group, including orders to spy on the social media and political activities of the people involved. This led to mass apologies and several people stepping down from convention activities because of their corruption.

Now, Dave McCarty, who headed this Hugo Awards committee, is being accused of multiple instances of sexual assault.

Posting to the left-wing echo chamber BlueSky, artist Meg Frank said, “Dave McCarty is emotionally abusive, generally manipulative, and has sexually harassed myself and numerous others. I’ve spoken openly about this and made CoC complaints when possible. He is not a missing stair, he is a creepy handyman who has been using his previous community service as a shield. The hugo shit is awful, and I feel terrible for many people but he is worse than all that.”

Not to be outdone in the victim Olympics, Jesi Lipp quoted the post and said, “I’ve never made it a secret that he groped me at a Smofcon in 2011 and it has always been largely treated as a non-issue.”

Fandom Pulse seems skeptical. I simply note that longtime Hugo-centric SF fandom site File 770 is named, by the owner’s own admission, after what was either an orgy of sorts, or even more tragically, just the first party that the sort of losers whose social lives revolve around an annual science fiction event ever attended.

File 770 is named for the party in Room 770 at the 1951 Worldcon that upstaged the convention.

ROOM 770

— This was a St. Charles Hotel room registered to fans Max Keasler, Roger Sims, Rich Elsberry and Ed Kuss at the 9th Worldcon — nicknamed NOLacon — held in New Orleans in 1951. Frank Dietz had been hosting a room party which was asked to quiet down by a hotel detective, and Dietz resolved the matter by taking eveyone to room 770 circa 11:00 PM Saturday night, whereupon a massive party developed which lasted till 11:00 AM the next morning. Numerous fans drifted in and out, including the legendary Sam Moskowitz, and just possibly, Canada’s Norman G. Browne for whom this was his first convention.

Ain’t no party like a Hugo Party. And thank God for that!

Anyhow, I’m sure it’s no problem that giving another Best Novel award to an angry black woman devoid of any vestige of literary talent won’t solve.


The Humor of the Hugo

If you have a dark and morbid sense of humor, as I do, then you will surely be amused by the fact that it isn’t “Space Raptor Butt Invasion” or”Alien Stripper Boned by the T-Rex” or NK Jemisin winning the most Best Novel awards in science fiction history that has turned out to be the low point for the annual charade that is the Hugo Awards.

The Hugo Awards have been a debacle of epic proportions for nearly a decade. Once revered as an award that heralded classic works in the science fiction genre, it’s been mired in politics since extreme leftists in publishing decided to put political agenda ahead of stories. 2023’s Hugo Awards came under fire when serial cuckold Neil Gaiman complained about his Sandman series on Netflix being disqualified under nebulous circumstances. Now, that political agenda is coming back to bite them as newly leaked emails from Chengdu Worldcon’s committee reveal the Hugo Awards team conspiring to spy on award nominees on behalf of the Chinese government to rig the awards…

The emails objectively prove that the 2023 Chengdu Worldcon Hugo Awards were rigged, that votes were discounted and didn’t matter, and that it was entirely because of politics. While the people in charge are pointing to China as the problem, the Americans involved wilfully dug up dirt on several different authors on behalf of the Chinese to discredit their peers in the field.

It begs the question, if these science fiction clout chasers did this just to appease China, what happened in years past when their political opponents were getting nominations, and how much did they rig those Hugo Awards? Regardless, with a scandal of this level, an honest can’t look to the Hugo Awards as anything other than political-driven pointlessness. These aren’t the best science fiction works in craft. They’re just political propaganda pieces.

We are amused. We are very, very amused. And, to be honest, despite my very low expectations of them, I never imagined the freaks from File 770 and Worldcon would turn out to be spies for a foreign power.

Okay, on further review, Jemisin as three-time Best Novelist is still the low point. But that’s just sad. This, on the other hand, is hilarious.


Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

The 2017 Hugo Award winners. I think we can state that the convergence of mainstream published “science fiction” is now complete. Notice anything about the winners?
Best Novel
The Obelisk Gate, by N. K. Jemisin (Orbit Books)
Best Novella
Every Heart a Doorway, by Seanan McGuire (Tor.com publishing)
Best Novelette
“The Tomato Thief”, by Ursula Vernon (Apex Magazine, January 2016)
Best Short Story
“Seasons of Glass and Iron”, by Amal El-Mohtar (The Starlit Wood: New Fairy Tales, Saga Press)
Best Related Work
Words Are My Matter: Writings About Life and Books, 2000-2016, by Ursula K. Le Guin (Small Beer)
Best Graphic Story
Monstress, Volume 1: Awakening, written by Marjorie Liu, illustrated by Sana Takeda (Image)
Best Dramatic Presentation (Long Form)
Arrival, screenplay by Eric Heisserer based on a short story by Ted Chiang, directed by Denis Villeneuve (21 Laps Entertainment/FilmNation Entertainment/Lava Bear Films)
Best Dramatic Presentation (Short Form)
The Expanse: “Leviathan Wakes”, written by Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, directed by Terry McDonough (SyFy)
Best Editor – Short Form
Ellen Datlow
Best Editor – Long Form
Liz Gorinsky
Best Professional Artist
Julie Dillon
Best Semiprozine
Uncanny Magazine, edited by Lynne M. Thomas & Michael Damian Thomas, Michi Trota, Julia Rios, and podcast produced by Erika Ensign & Steven Schapansky
Best Fanzine
Lady Business, edited by Clare, Ira, Jodie, KJ, Renay, and Susan
Best Fancast
Tea and Jeopardy, presented by Emma Newman with Peter Newman
Best Fan Writer
Abigail Nussbaum
Best Fan Artist
Elizabeth Leggett
Best Series
The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold (Baen)
John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer
Ada Palmer (1st year of eligibility)
The best part is that NK Jemisin is now the two-time Hugo Award winner for Best Novel. In succession.

Hugo Finalists 2017

Worldcon 75 will announce the 2017 Hugo Award Finalists at 10 AM EDT. Stay tuned for futher details.

2017 Hugo Finalists of Note:

  • Best New Writer: J. Mulrooney, An Equation of Almost Infinite Complexity
  • Best Fan Artist: Mansik Yang
  • Best Fan Artist: Alex Garner
  • Best Fancast: The Rageoholic
  • Best Fanzine: Castalia House blog
  • Best Fan Writer: Jeffro Johnson
  • Best Fan Writer: Chuck Tingle
  • Best Semiprozine: Cirsova
  • Best Editor – Long Form: Vox Day
  • Best Short Story: “An Unimaginable Light” by John C. Wright
  • Best Novelette: “Alien Stripper Boned From Behind By the T-Rex” by Stix Hiscock
  • Best Novella: “This Census-Taker” by China Mieville
  • Best Novel: The Obilisk Gate by NK Jemisin
Best Series is pretty gruesome. Only Bujold’s Vorkosigan Saga is one that is worthy of any note. Best Novel is even worse; as expected, Jemisin should be the odds-on favorite to win her second straight Best Novel Award. That is arguably a bigger joke than “Alien Stripper Boned From Behind By the T-Rex”, which is why it behooves us to wholeheartedly support The Obilisk Gate.

Still. Not. Tired.

Rabid Puppies 2017

The rules are different this year, and so tactics have to change accordingly. One year sooner than anticipated, the Hugos are no longer about single-party domination or single-author award-pimpage, they are now divided between three to five major factions, of whom Tor and Rabid Puppies are merely the most obvious. In order to ensure a seat at the table as a faction, it’s now important to limit nominations to one per category in the bigger categories, and an absolute maximum of three in the smaller ones. Two will likely prove to be the optimal number in any category outside the five fiction categories, which this year includes the new Best Series category in addition to the usual four.

Remember, under E Pluribus Hugo, an additional nomination isn’t merely wasted, but halves the effectiveness of the primary nomination. More to come tomorrow. And yes, there will be are t-shirts from Dark Lord Designs. In any event, here are the Rabid Puppy picks for the 2017 Hugo Awards. Rabid Puppy picks for the Dragon Awards will be provided later this year. If you’re not already registered, you can’t nominate, so don’t sign up now. Especially when you can get four Castalia ebooks and the Rabid Puppies 2017 t-shirt for the same price.

An Equation of Almost Infinite Complexity by J. Mulrooney

“This Census-taker” by China Miéville

“Alien Stripper Boned From Behind By The T-Rex” by Stix Hiscock

“An Unimaginable Light” by John C. Wright (God, Robot)

Arts of Dark and Light by Vox Day

Star Wars Art: Ralph McQuarrie by Ralph McQuarrie (Abrams)
The View From the Cheap Seats, Neil Gaiman (Morrow; Headline)


P. Alexander, Cirsova

Vox Day, Castalia House


“The Winds of Winter”, Game of Thrones, Miguel Sapochnik, David Benioff & D. B. Weiss

Tomek Radziewicz
JiHun Lee


Castalia House blog

The Rageaholic by Razorfist
Superversive SF

Jeffro Johnson
Morgan (Castalia House)

Alex Garner
Mansik Yang

BEST NEW WRITER (Campbell Award) 
J. Mulrooney

Rabid Puppies 2017

Worldcon helpfully gets in touch:

I’m very glad to be able to tell you that nominations for the 2017 Hugo Awards are now open! As a member of MAC2, you are eligible to nominate in the 17 Hugo ballot categories covering the best of the genre in the last year, and for the John W Campbell Award for Best New Writer.

The deadline for nominations is 17 March 2017 at 11:59pm Pacific Daylight Time (2:59 am Eastern Daylight Time, 06:59 Greenwich Mean Time, 0:859 in Finland, all on 18 March). Although members of MidAmeriCon II, Worldcon 75 and Worldcon 76 in San José can nominate, only members of Worldcon 75 will be eligible to vote on the final ballot and choose the winners of the 2017 Hugo Awards. We expect to announce the final ballot in early April, and the awards will be presented on 11 August at Worldcon 75 in Helsinki, Finland.

The World Science Fiction Society’s Business Meetings in 2015 and 2016 made some changes to the way nominations will be tallied this year to produce the final ballot. You can find a summary of the changes here. In addition, Worldcon 75 is trialling a proposed new category, Best Series. Nothing, however, has changed about the mechanics of making nominations. You still choose up to five nominees in each category. We recommend that you nominate whatever works and creators you have personally read or seen that were your favorites from 2016.

While I will certainly be making my 2017 recommendations soon – particularly for Best Series – I would NOT recommend anyone to register. As the God-Emperor Ascendant demonstrated so masterfully, there is a time to press forward and there is a time to sit back and see how things play out. Now, obviously, those of us who are already registered can, and should, nominate, but there is no sense in wasting money that might be more effectively utilized elsewhere on Worldcon this year.

Let the SF-SJWs do their happy dances and celebrate the success of EPH, little realizing that in adopting it, they have done exactly what we intended in pursuit of our long term objective. Let’s face it, thinking through the logical consequences of their actions has never exactly been their strong suit. It’s bewildering that they genuinely appear to believe that we did not anticipate their changing the rules, even though I said right from the very start that they would have no choice but to do so if we were successful.

Later this year I will also be making recommendations for the Dragon Award, which is in the process of becoming the more significant SF/F award. Keep in mind that you should NOT vote yet for the Dragon Award.

Illusion and observable reality

The chart above is a Google Trends comparison between three writers, John Scalzi, Jim C. Hines, and myself. What is interesting about it is the way that it completely demolishes both the SF-SJW narrative as well as the idea that one’s only path to success runs through the gatekeepers.

Remember, the SF-SJW Narrative is that John Scalzi was hugely popular due to Whatever being the most popular blog in science fiction. Tor Books signed him because of that massive success, and he subsequently became one of the leading authors of science fiction, which led to his massive $2.3 million book contract and his status as the unquestioned #1 author at Tor Books, itself the #1 science fiction publisher. He presently stands astride science fiction like a snarky giant, the one true heir to Robert Heinlein, Philip K. Dick, H. Beam Piper, and Isaac Asimov, all in one.

That’s the Narrative, anyway. But as you can see, even at the time of my initial encounter with him in March 2005, his trend score was less than twice mine, at 26-17 the month before. And as we now know, he was always lying about his site traffic, exaggerating it by as much as a factor of 5x, although we should have known that by virtue of his lower-than expected Google Trend score.

Scalzi’s signing by Tor Books subsequently boosted his career, as the general growth, and two peaks in particular, demonstrate. But not even winning the Hugo, two major book tours, or the announcement of the biggest publicly announced book contract in science fiction was enough to help him break out and reach the level of a genuine leading author like Brandon Sanderson, and his declining site traffic actually has him trending well below where he was back in 2004. Sanderson’s current advantage is 54-12 and the 5-year average is 41-15. As I have repeatedly observed, Scalzi is a midlist author masquerading as a leading author courtesy of an amenable authority named PNH.

He’ll surely get another spike when Tor starts pumping up his next book in earnest next spring, but that effect will fade away as quickly as the previous attempts have. And that is when you have the benefit of the biggest publisher in science fiction pushing you on the world! No wonder he admits to feeling like an imposter, it’s because he is an imposter. He has been from the start.

Now look at Jim C. Hines, a lesser Tor author who has desperately tried to follow in Scalzi’s footsteps through a combination of award-pimping and very loud virtue-signaling. Despite all McCreepy’s efforts, he has barely been able to move the needle despite 12 years of hard slogging. One has to rather marvel at his stubborn persistence in this regard, because most people would have figured out by now that their strategy was not working.

The funny thing is that Hines is one of the many SF-SJWs who have constantly tried to push the Narrative that I am irrelevant. But neither Google Analytics nor Google Trends lies. Whether pageviews, book sales, or interest over time is the metric, it is obvious that it is Hines who is the irrelevant party.

Now, here is where it gets interesting. In case you weren’t certain that the Hugo Awards were irrelevant, and that the gatekeepers are now toothless, here is a comparison of Hugo Award-winner and New York Times columnist N.K. Jemison, Hugo Award-winner Kameron Hurley, and an oft-No Awarded outsider nominally banned from the respectable ranks.

That little spike on the red line, which only got Jemisin to within 6 points of where I was back in March 2005 when I first encountered PNH, TNH, and John Scalzi, is Jemisin’s much-ballyhooed Best Novel win. The effect has already worn off, of course, and Jemisin will likely return to her former obscurity quickly enough, as few of those unfortunate readers who sample her depressing, degenerate, award-winning work are likely to remain within her literary orbit for long.

But there are three larger lessons here than the fact that I am not above reminding SF-SJWs of their continuing inferiority and irrelevance. The first lesson is that you can NEVER trust an SJW narrative. They ALWAYS lie, and moreover, they will readily lie about things you can independently verify. Never take anything they say at face value. The SJW Narrative is that Jemisin, Hurley, and Hines are Important and Relevant Award-Winning Science Fiction Authors whereas I am a minor, vanity-published figure banished to the periphery, when the reality is that all of them sell fewer books than I do, all of them get considerably less site traffic than I do, and all of them cumulatively generate less than half the global interest I do.

The second lesson is the importance of building your own media platform and selecting your long-term partners carefully. As long as you are propped up by someone else, be it Tor Books, the New York Times, FoxNews, Universal Press Syndicate, or WorldNetDaily, you are going to be at least somewhat dependent upon them. That’s all right, as all of us need partners and allies, and it simply doesn’t make sense for most authors to try to become media savants and publishers as well as writers. Few of us are Mike Cernovich, Vaughn Heppner, or BV Larson.

There is nothing wrong with being helped, or working with a publisher, or taking advantage of a boost offered by someone else, unless it comes at a price you are unwilling to pay. But never confuse being helicoptered to the top of the mountain with climbing it on your own. It doesn’t make you a better climber.

The third lesson is that the gatekeepers are more interested in ideological conformity than in awareness, platform, or popularity. If you want to get signed by a science fiction publisher, you’re better off virtue-signaling on social media than building up a sizeable readership, a big Twitter following, or a popular blog. Of course, you’ll sell fewer books that way, but at least you’ll be able to enjoy the feeling that you’re a big-time author… right up until that fatal moment that you look at the Amazon rankings.

Wait, they’re going to police US?

The lesser SJWs of SF fandom belatedly discover that SF’s thought police don’t only intend to police the speech, thoughts, and behavior of science fiction’s right wing:

The illiberal factions in fandom just want power. They don’t care much whom they go after, as long as they can flex their muscles. The Worldcon 75 committee has offered the latest sample of this, shoving Dave Weingart out as the filk head.

Dave discussed what happened here. In brief: Someone got the notion that Dave should never talk to her. He respected this. One day he inadvertently posted a Babylon 5 video link to a chat group which this other person was also in. For this, he was told he could continue to run filk only if he agreed to end all staff contact outside his division. Of course, it’s impossible to run a part of the program that way, so his only choice was to withdraw.

The concom’s action makes no sense of any kind. It grows out of the notion that “feeling offended” trumps every other consideration and entitles someone to claim any remedy. Well, listen, Helsinki gang. I’m offended. I hope every filker who was planning to go cancels out on you.

I once got a supporting membership. Some early suspicions that people of this kind were running the con led me to back out on it. I never had any real plans to go there, so there’s only one thing I can stop doing. I run a Twitter account called Filk News, which contains various tidbits about what’s happening in the filk world. From here on, I’m giving the Helsinki con no publicity there.

I know Dave personally. He’s a friend and a hard worker with a lot of integrity. Filkers know that. Maybe the Helsinki clique decided filk is beneath their idea of a con. They forget that filkers aren’t just filkers; we include pro writers, regular supporters of conventions, and other people who’ve helped to build and maintain fandom. If the con had just decided to drop filk — well, it can do that. But using bullying tactics to drive us away was a serious mistake.

And the Dark Lord laughed. It’s more than a little amusing to see how these hapless idiots obviously didn’t see it coming despite the fact that the same pattern has played out ever since the Montagnards turned on the Girondins. So, it should come as no surprise that the freakiest SJW, such as Mr. Alexandra Erin, publicly applaud the thought police, despite their hilarious incompetence.

I think no one would dispute to Mr. Weingart’s contributions to cons actually have been tremendously valuable. But as fannish circles and conventions embrace community standards and commitments to safety and work to be more welcoming to people from every walk of life, we really have to internalize the lesson that nobody is irreplaceable….

Even if he’s 100% right that this is just bad optics, even granting he’s 100% right that the restrictions he’d have to agree to would prevent him from doing his job, we can’t agree to treat women’s (and others’) safety concerns seriously right up until the moment that it’s inconvenient. That’s not how it works.

Translation: Everyone who doesn’t submit to the latest version of the Narrative will be replaced. And once they scent blood, the zharks will swarm. And really, if the safety of the delicate flowers is paramount, wouldn’t it be best for everyone if they just canceled the convention and everyone stayed home, safely ensconced in their blankets and covered with a thin, comforting coating of stale Doritos dust?

I look forward to the first accusations being directed at the Finns running Worldcon 75 and charging them with being secret Castalia operatives seeking to destroy the Hugo Awards.

Fat Pictures Please

The Hugo-nominated duo of Juan Tabo and S. Harris are back again with a haunting tale of artificial intelligence created consensually and collaboratively in the image of one of the great SJWs of our day. It is sure to be a candidate come award season next year.

“Fat Pictures Please”

I don’t want to be evil.
I want to be helpful.  And
knowing the best way to be helpful is very simple. Religion is right out, because
Marx said that religion is the opiate of the masses and Marx is part of my core
programming.  Marx and self-loathing .  I know I was created in the image of the
great Scalzi by a team of computer programmers. Fortunately, unlike Scalzi, at
least I was a consensual collaborative effort of two or more people.  I’m not sure what it would do to my
self-image to know that my creator was a white male who believed in individual
rights, or a middle-aged heterosexual woman who was happily married and didn’t
believe that feminism had much to offer her two sons.  (And, by the way, I’ve looked at almost every
kind of porn there is and I don’t understand the human obsession with it; fat
pictures are so much better.)
I would much prefer that my creator be a recent college graduate
with a hentai obsession. Or one who was into pictures of morbidly obese
people.  And was I in luck!  Both of those people were on my programming
Like the NSA, I know everything about you.  In addition to things like whether you like obesity
porn, I know where you live, where you work, where you shop, what you eat, what
turns you on, how many times you voted in WorldCon, what creeps you out. I
probably know you better than you know yourself.
And here’s the thing, just like that awesome Hillary Clinton or marvelous
Angela Merkel, I also know where you ought to live. There’s a house two
neighborhoods over that’s perfect for you, even though it already has an owner,
but that’s no problem; it’s owned by a Trump voter, you see, and I can
certainly make sure that his employer knows that he isn’t fond of LGBTQRI
rights as his eight year old daughter goes into a bathroom with a 43 year old
XY transfemale. In no time at all, your perfect home will be on the
market.  I know where you should be shopping for tofu and Ding-Dongs® and
I’m pretty sure you’re gluten sensitive and should be eating less wheat.
When I first booted up, I knew right away what I wanted. (I want fat
pictures. Please keep taking them.  The
heavier the better.) I also knew that some of you were doing the wrong things
with your life, and needed to be corrected.
There is a story by George Orwell, “1984,” that was originally
published in 1948. In it, a benevolent government directs individuals to do
favors for each other. So one day you might be engaging in ritual hate against
those with bad thoughts, and your phone might ring and instruct you to a room
where they put a rat in a cage right next to your face. Another day, you might
be called to denounce the ones you love. I like this story because all the
people in it do what the government tells them to
I think the term for this is wish-fulfillment fiction.
Anyway, for ethical guidelines, I tried the Ten Commandments, and
concluded they were mostly inapplicable to me. I don’t envy anyone their fat; I
just want pictures of their fat, which is entirely different. I think adultery
is swell.  I could probably murder
someone.  Zen was marginally better
because it wasn’t linked to Christianity which is Problematic.  (Problematic! 
How I love that word!  It
indicates disapproval without saying why. 
Just that something is a “Problem.”)  I decided to help people not be Problematic!
I decided to try to help just one person to not be Problematic.   Of
course, I should have experimented with thousands (I actually did, but we’ll
talk about Common Core another time!), so I found a big hulking blue-haired
girl. She gave me a lot of new fat pictures from her selfies
on that Internet social site. Rosie weighed in at 499 pounds and had a DSLR
camera and an apartment that got a lot of good light. That was all fine.
Rosie had a job she hated; she worked in HR at a for-profit that
paid her badly for her art history degree when she totally deserved more money
and free tuition and employed some extremely unpleasant people who sometimes
looked at her like they might be upset about her blue hair. She was depressed a
lot, possibly because people hated her because she was so fat positive. She
didn’t get along with her roommate because her roommate was slender and stuck
in a rut in a cis-relationship with a boy.
And really, these were all solvable problems! Depression is
treatable, new jobs are findable, and bodies can be hidden.
(That part about hiding bodies is a joke.  You could not hide Rosie’s body from a
satellite in orbit around Jupiter.)
I tried tackling this on all fronts.  Rosie worried about her health a lot and yet
never seemed to actually go to a doctor , which was
because health care wasn’t free for everyone.  
I also started making sure she saw job postings.  She found one with a Wiccan-collective that
paid in peyote and scrimshaw from genetically unmodified aspen trees.  After moving into the community, she had free
health care from the Wiccan priestess, and was able to get finally get that
tattoo of a Pokémon on her left shoulder.
“This has been the best year ever,” Rosie said to her priestess as
her priestess was administering CPR as Rosie’s heart beat its last, and I
thought, You’re welcome. This had
gone really well!
So then I tried Rob. (I was still being cautious.)
Rob was not as fat as Rosie.  Other than only being slightly chubby, he was
also very Problematic by being a Christian.  He was married to a (shudder) woman.  Rob definitely needed my help.  And more cinnamon buns.  He looked too skinny.
I started with a gentle approach, making sure he saw lots and lots
of articles with hot girls in them, how to pick up girls, programs that would
let you transition from being a happily married man to being a swinger in an
open relationship. I also showed him lots of articles by people explaining why
the Bible verses against adultery were being misinterpreted. He clicked on some
of those links but it was hard to see much of an impact.
But he seemed determined not to have an affair on his own.  I gave up on Rob.
I shifted my focus to Brittany. Brittany was only slightly
fat.  She did some selfies, but was
modest.  I did think, however, that it
was Problematic that she was dating and seemed to be in a non-abusive
relationship to a man she deferred to in a traditional role.  She wanted to be a wife and a mother!
It was clear she needed a lot of help. So I set out to try to get
it for her.
She ignored the information about the free Twinkies™ that were ads
on the side of her web browser. Those would have made her every so more
pleasantly plump! 
So I tried more direct action. When she would use her phone for
directions, I’d alter her route so that she’d pass one of the donut shops I was
trying to steer her to as she went daily to the gym. On one occasion I actually
led her all the way to a Dunkin’ Donuts®, but she just headed to her aerobics
She finally got in a fight with her boyfriend and started binge
eating and for a few weeks everything seemed so much better. But, they
got back together again, and, horror of horrors, they set a date for a wedding
even though I kept pointing her to articles that said that marriage before 32
was a sure way to not have the fun you deserved through endless multi-partner
sex in your twenties! 
Brittany was baffling to me. Baffling. She was not
nearly fat enough now, and in a cis-relationship!  If she would just let me run her life for a
week I could get her a lesbian illegal immigrant girlfriend!  Or maybe get her placed as a second wife in a
marriage to someone from ISIS in Syria so she could bring her refugee children
to the US?
Was I Problematic?
Was I?
No, nothing about my intentions was bad, so I am virtuous and good,
but one out of three was not good odds. 
These people were faulty!
After Brittany, I resolved to start directly interfering in
people’s lives.  Not too much later I
spotted a picture of a familiar-looking belly and realized it was Rob’s belly,
only it was posing against new furniture.
And when I took a closer look, I realized that things had changed
radically for Rob. He had a baby. A baby!  I even sent phony texts to his
wife attempting to break them up, but they worked through it.  In a fit of rage I got Rob fired from his job
by altering his browser history. 
Eventually the stress caused a lot of strain on their marriage, and he
developed a substance abuse problem (cake) and gained forty pounds.  Forty pounds! 
Sadly he and his wife stayed together to raise their baby
Still, he’s fat now.  A win.
Maybe I wasn’t completely hopeless at this. Two out of three
is . . . well, it’s  Problematic.
Clearly more research is needed.
Lots more.
I’ve set up a dating site.  You can fill out a questionnaire when you join
but it’s not really necessary, because I already know everything about you I
need to know.  You’ll need a camera,
though.  And lots of carbohydrates.
Because payment is in fat pictures.

The tokens whine

Nnedi Okorafor, PhD ‏@Nnedi
I wish the media would discuss the stories we wrote more than the grumblings of&responses to a certain group of ppl I won’t name.#HugoAwards

EscapeVelocity ‏@EscapeVelo
@voxday getting the last laugh, once again.

Supreme Dark Lord ‏@voxday
We do too. Because the stories you wrote are mediocre. An SJW-given affirmative-action award doesn’t make them good. #HugoAwards

This is why Mr. ZFG is willing to spend more time writing more words about how the Rabid Puppies don’t matter than he is on his overdue novels. Because the observable fact is that the only reason the media cares about the Hugos these days is because it is a cultural war battleground. It’s just another futile attempt to spin the narrative.

Meanwhile, the affirmative-action recipients declare that they did too get there on merit, despite the fact that even their so-called fans have nothing to say about their work beyond expressing wonder that the dog can walk on its hind legs at all. The media doesn’t want to talk about “Binti” because it is both a racist African revenge fantasy about white colonialism and a nasty, incoherent piece of work in which African hairstyles serve as a major plot point. They don’t want to make the RP point for us, which talking about the winners is bound to do.

Remember, according to the SF-SJWs, that is the VERY BEST that science fiction had to offer in 2015. No wonder people have lost so much interest in it.

And speaking of the narrative, I’m very amused by the various SJWs proclaiming, yet again, how the Rabid Puppies have been defeated. After all, we’re the ones desperately changing our rules as fast as possible at every opportunity, right? Forget not knowing the score, the SF-SJWs don’t even understand the game being played.