#Arkhaven INFOGALACTIC #Castalia House
It was announced on Saturday that Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos will deliver next Saturday’s keynote address at CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference. Reports that he will be the keynote speaker leaked early Saturday morning on The Hollywood Reporter.
Still not tired of winning.
If a man can become a woman because he believes it, there is no reason the Earth can’t become flat for precisely the same reason:
As a football player, I’ve been a fan of Vikings receiver Stefon Diggs from the moment he made his first impact on the NFL as a rookie in 2015. As a potential social-media troll, he may have even better chops. Unless he’s really not deliberately riling up his followers when he suggests that he agrees with NBA player Kyrie Irving’s view that the Earth is flat.
Yes, whether the Earth is flat has recently become a thing in the sports world. Irving may be trolling, too, and the ultimately genius of the approach (if it’s all an act) is that it points out the nature of the age in which we currently reside. Given the ridiculous factual claims that people are willing to blindly embrace as true, maybe it’s not ludicrous to think someone genuinely rejects the long-settled notion that the Earth is round.
The Big Lead has items on both Irving’s comments and the tweets from Diggs. My own assessment is that Diggs is having fun with the issue, but that Irving actually may believe what he’s saying.
Irving would hardly be alone regarding the lingering notion that the planet is pancake-shaped; a few minutes with Google unlocked plenty of evidence of others who reject the evidence that the world is round. The argument hinges on the notion that the spherical theory emerged as a way to supplant religion with science, since the Bible suggests that the world is flat.
The claim is less stunning given that the flat-or-round world generally has morphed into a place where the line between fact and opinion has been obliterated, and all that matters is what you believe.
I believe I now need a nap.
The real question is: Bruce Jenner, brilliant troll or transgender truther?
Milo brutally hammers Bill Maher’s liberal panel: “You need to start inviting higher-IQ guests.” As I expected, even when he takes it relatively easy on them, they’re not even close to being in his league.
From the Hollywood Reporter:
Yiannopoulos praised Maher for being “the only good one” of the Liberals, saying he thinks “your side has gone insane” and that the Democrats have become “the side of Lena Dunham.” “The more America sees of Lena Dunham, the fewer votes the party is ever going to get,” he said, before Maher asked him not to pick on “fellow HBO stars.” The Breitbart editor also took cracks at Amy Schumer and Sarah Silverman. “I like to think of myself as a virtuous troll,” he explained.
When asked by Maher about his motives for harassing Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones on Twitter (which caused Yiannopoulos to be banned from the social media platform), he replied, “I read a bad review of the movie. Am I not entitled to do that?”
“I simply don’t accept that the star of a Hollywood blockbuster is sitting in a Hollywood mansion crying over mean words on the internet. Get over it,” he added. “She’s been deployed by the studio because the movie is sinking. Mean words on the internet don’t hurt anyone. What actually hurts people is murder, violence, not mean words.”
Maher interjected, “Which some people say you’ve incited,” which Yiannopoulos brushed off by saying, “Well, they’re idiots.”
Maher ended their chat by telling the Breitbart editor that it was time to “jump off the Trump train.”
“Oh, come on, he’s fabulous,” replied Yiannopoulos.
During Maher’s “Overtime” segment, featuring Yiannopoulos and his panel of guests, which included former Rep. Jack Kingston, Malcolm Nance and former Nightly Show host Larry Wilmore, the Breitbart editor started a contentious argument. “The only people who don’t like me are journalists,” insisted Yiannopoulos, “everybody else loves me.”
Wilmore called him out when the editor said that transgender people are “disproportionately” involved in sex crimes, which Wilmore argued isn’t a correct statistic, let alone a “controversial statistic.”
Yiannopoulos, calling Wilmore “very obtuse” as he fought with Nance, told Maher he was having “such a nice time, but you always invite such awful people on your show. They’re so stupid.”
Wilmore eventually had enough: “You can go f— yourself, all right?”
Wilmore also defended Jones against Yiannopoulos’ earlier attacks: “Leslie Jones is not ‘barely literate.’ Go f— yourself again for that.”
“She can barely spell,” Yiannopoulos insisted.
As usual, Milo is correct: “Transgender fetish is the largest sexual disorder reported in convicted sex offenders.”
Because of the rise of the Alt-Right around the world, it is not going to be possible for SJWs and cuckservatives to continue to deny the fact that the Alt-Right is neither Neo-Nazi nor White Supremacist, but a broad-spectrum nationalist movement that upholds the rights of Europeans and white Americans to self-determination, freedom of association, and self-defined nationalism.
White nationalism is Alt-Right. Imperialist Teutonic supremacism is not. Anti-globalism is Alt Right. Eine Welt, Ein Reich, Ein Gedanke is not.
Scriba Dei writes of his experience being a black man who is largely in agreement with the Alt-Right, and how he was treated by racist white SJWs as a result.
I wrote for a SJW converged website. Theoretically, the site claims to be politically neutral and welcoming of all perspectives among its writers on one condition: they must be written politely, without purposeful intent to insult or deride any one group or individual.
Failure to heed the rule results in progressive sanctions up to and including a permanent ban.
I am sure you understand how this rule works in practice, for its conservative writers: they constantly walk on eggshells, in a world where only the cuckest of the cucks can seemingly escape unscathed.
And so it came as no surprise that the SJW inner circle was not too happy about my surging popularity by pimping alt-right talking points to their cucky conservative readership. Even for this group, the ideas we peddle proved too seductive, and as it turns out, I have been marked for deletion.
Now, being Black allowed me to get away with far more than the average Straight White Male writer could. But in the end, as one of my last pieces for them made it clear, there is no reasoning with the left. If you break the narrative, you get slashed. I was a thorn in their side, constantly reminding them that nope, these beliefs are not the domain of mindless, hateful, neo-nazi Supremacists and they were the mindless ones for denying them; and in the long run, the heartless ones, too.
No matter how nicely said–how well sourced–my pieces were, they suddenly became offensive in and off themselves, regardless of intent. And so I’ve been thrown out the window.
The last time we spoke, you said something which marked me: it is important for those of us who couldn’t as easily be dismissed as Nazis and supremacists to serve as allies for the Alt-Right.
In my own small way, I’ve decided to do it. I know that the usual suspects will have dismissed my last mail to you as a sham; I’ve made it a little harder for them to do so this time.
Remember, cucky, if you criticize him or what he is saying, you’re raciss! So brave. Thank you for this.
The God-Emperor’s administration is very far from over. And whether you realized it or not, the various low-level arrests of pedophilia and sex-trafficking rings that have been reported everywhere from Norway to Los Angeles are a probable harbinger of things to come:
Q. So, in the Intelligence community, how chaotic is the atmosphere now?
A. In my 34 years of Governmental service, I have never seen anything like it. It’s the bifurcation of the entire intelligence apparatus.
Q. It seems the intel community has it in for Trump – is this your feeling?
A. There are many Trump supporters within the FBI. The CIA, however, is against Trump because Trump threatens to ruin their game in the middle east.
Q. Can you elaborate?
A. CIA and Mossad work in tandem with British intel. The goal for the CIA was to replace Assad with a puppet and to topple Iran so we could access their oil. Israel works closely with it’s “sister”, Saudi Arabia, to help this dark cause.
Q. So it seems like the intel community has it in for Trump. How can he protect himself?
A. Trump has a tremendous opportunity here, but needs to circle wagons. The travel ban included 7 countries chosen by both Jared Kushner and Rudy. Why did it not include Saudi Arabia, or Pakistan, or Turkey or other countries that hate us? The seven nations mentioned were chosen by Israel, that’s why. And the unspoken alliance of Israel and Saudi Arabia should be exposed. They are brother and sister. Jared Kushner needs to be careful with what he says and to whom. But, the biggest thing Trump can do is expose PedoGate via Sessions. Big names will go down hard, and it gets the blood suckers drained from the swamp. There are as many pedophiles on the Republican side as there is with democrats, but Trump is in a unique position to truly “clean up Dodge”, so to speak. I can tell you that what is in Anthony Weiner’s hard drive, and what videos exist via Jeffery Epstein, WILL BRING massive arrests – in time. Trump’s legacy could be truly great if he was to purge the CIA, stop the extortion, prosecute the pedophiles and reinstate the death penalty for pedo’s convicted a second time. Pedogate is his path to greatness.
Q. How does Russia fit into all this?
A. The CIA and Israel are responsible for the creation of Isis. Isis was created specifically to weaken Iran and destabilize Syria. It worked for a while until Putin shored up Assad and bolstered Iranian Qud forces. The real reason you see such anti-Russian fever from both Schumer and McCain, Graham and Feinstein, is because the operation has blown up in our faces.
Q. Is Israel behind the anti Russian sentiment?
A. Yes. Israeli intelligence is furious with Trump, and will do anything to keep Trump from working with Putin. Understand that if Trump and Putin work together to defeat Isis, they are actually defeating a CIA/Mossad creation, and furthermore, Syria and Iran grow stronger, which the Saudis and the Israeli’s fear. Their goal was to divide Syria and ultimately destroy Iran’s regime. It is not just an oil grab, but a much bigger attempt at moving the chess pieces to allow Israel and Saudi Arabia to dominate the entire Middle East.
Q. So they demonize Putin and try to tarnish the Trump administration?
A. The Deep State is at war with both Trump and Putin. Understand that when Israeli intelligence hears “America first” from Trump, they go apeshit. Israel has bribed, extorted and intimidated our politicians for decades and suddenly this upstart billionaire threatens to ruin everything.
Q. You mention the word extort. Does that relate to Pizzagate?
A. PedoGate is only a modern term associated with a long history of Pedo-blackmail connected to both Israel and the Intel community. There is a full court press to stop PedoGate from being looked at because if people knew the true motives behind the pedophilia epidemic, they would do more than march on Washington. They could actually seed a revolution, with the spark coming from decent American parents who want to protect their kids. Our politicians are compromised. The senior analyst nicknamed “FBI Anon” alluded to this in his exchange with folks on 4chan and with you.
Q. What do you mean compromised?
A. Do you notice 2 central themes running through the MSM lately? Those themes are “Fear the Russians” and “#PizzaGate is fake news“. Both tropes come from the same place.
Q. Can you explain?
A. How do we exert power? Via fear. Do you ever wonder why both Democrats and Republicans fall all over themselves to kiss up to Israel? Odd, since Israel is the size of Rhode Island… The fact is, many of our politicians – on both sides – have been compromised by CIA and Mossad for years. It’s actually not admiration they are expressing for Israel, but fear. Notice Lindsay Graham and Chuck Schumer repeating the same salute when it comes to Israel. How does that even happen? The American people are finally seeing that there is no two-party system, but one big shadow Government pretending we have political dichotomy.
Q. So PedoGate is real and “they” have to get Americans to disbelieve it?
A. Let me explain how threatening PedoGate is… Who wins? Trump. Putin. Americans. Russians. The world…. Who loses? Israel, since they no longer can blackmail our politicians, the same goes for the CIA. The Shadow Government loses. But, the people win.
Q. Can you give me specific instances of politicians being compromised by Israel?
A. Sure. Lolita Island. Jeffery Epstein, a billionaire convicted of pedophilia received a soft sentence. His island was rigged with video recorders. Many politicians have been compromised. It was a Mossad/CIA operation. Contact ex-senior CIA CCS, Robert David Steele. Bob knows and has even spoken about this with numerous reporters.
Q. So an ex-CIA senior agent named Robert Steele is on record saying Epstein’s island was a honey trap to lure our most powerful politicians into a extortion scheme?
A. Yes. There are videos of some of the most powerful players in the most humiliating positions. If this gets out, not only are the politicians ruined, but the extortion game is over and suddenly, the influence CIA and Mossad wield over Washington, is gone.
If I were advising Netanyahu, I would tell him to come clean and help the God-Emperor drain the swamp rather than try to keep the American people in the dark. Because the swamp is going to be drained. Now, I have no idea of whether any of this is true or not, but it certainly explains a lot of the panic in the media as well as the bizarre, seemingly unconnected connections between diverse aspects of the foreign policy drama, since the insider claims that one in three Washington politicians is compromised.
This bit was particularly interesting: “Notice how blatantly hostile McCain, Schumer, Graham, and others are? It was what we call a “targeted trigger“. It worked. By long-kniving Flynn, they exposed their hand.”
I can’t help but notice Gen. Flynn’s position has not been filled…. Anyhow, those who complain that Pizzagate has led to nothing concrete simply haven’t been paying attention. Over one thousand pedophiles have been arrested around the world since November, and you can be certain that most of them are singing like canaries. We’ll know the next stage has begun when the media begins reporting a sudden epidemic of suicides among Congressional staffers.
They can’t handle the Milo:
Bill Maher is making no apologies for booking Milo Yiannopoulos on HBO’s “Real Time” this Friday, saying Jeremy Scahill’s refusal to appear on the show out of protest of the conservative firebrand is one of the reasons why Democrats lost the election to President Trump. Mr. Scahill, founding editor of The Intercept, posted a lengthy statement on Twitter Wednesday evening announcing that he was dropping out of his scheduled appearance on Friday’s show because he disagrees with giving Mr. Yiannopoulos a platform to “spew his hateful diatribes.”
What a shame that Jeremy Scahill is such a horrible homophobe. This should be interesting, as I’ve seen Milo run rough-shod over UK TV journalists who are much smarter than Bill Maher. Maher isn’t verbally slow, but I will be very surprised if he can keep up with Milo. I think it’s fascinating that he’s even willing to try.
It is true, however, that the Left’s complete cowardice in this regard doesn’t fool anyone except the low-IQ true believers. Who does the Left have in the media that can possibly hold their own in a debate with Mike, Milo, me, or Stefan? They don’t have anyone. That’s why they run.
The idea that Maher is “giving Milo a platform” is absurd. Milo doesn’t need a platform. Milo IS a platform.
Steve Sailor can’t help but concur with Mark Zuckerberg’s globalist manifesto:
“History is the story of how we’ve learned to come together in ever greater numbers — from tribes to cities to nations.”
As we all know, independence and diversity have always been the enemy of progress. For example, that’s why Thomas Jefferson wrote The Declaration of Dependence submitting the American colonies to the British Empire.
Similarly, the father of history, Herodotus, wrote to celebrate the mighty Persian Empire’s reduction of the various Greek city-states to a satrapy ruled from Babylon.
Likewise, every year Jews gather to admit that their stiff-neckedness provoked the Roman Empire into, rightfully, smashing the Temple in Jerusalem on the holy day of We-Had-It-Coming.
And, of course, who can forget Shakespeare’s plays, such as Philip II and Admiral-Duke of Medina Sidonia, lauding the Spanish Armada for conquering the impudent English and restoring to Canterbury the One True Faith?
Similarly, Oswald Mosley’s prime ministership (1940-1980) of das englische Reich is justly admired for subordinating England’s traditional piratical turbulence to the greater good of Europe.
Likewise, who can not look at the 49 nations currently united by their adherence to the universalist faith of Islam and not see that submission is the road to peace, prosperity, and progress? If only unity had prevailed at Tours in 732 instead of divisiveness. May that great historical wrong be swiftly rectified in the decades to come!
Since they believe there is the same as here, then why should any globalist complain when the nationalists send them out of the West?
An article on Alexander Hamilton’s opinion on immigration is revealing for what it shows about Jefferson and the false foundation he provides the civic nationalists for their pseudo-nationalism:
Although Alexander Hamilton was himself an immigrant, he was adamantly opposed to the open immigration policies that President Thomas Jefferson proposed in his first annual message to Congress in 1801. Although the incoming president had once opposed unlimited immigration, Jefferson now saw it as a way to secure the future political dominance of his own party over Hamilton’s Federalists.
Hamilton, like most Federalists, was concerned about French influence on American politics. Although the French Revolution had descended into terror and led to the rise of Napoleon, Jefferson and his Democratic-Republican Party persisted in their attachment to the French. Hamilton feared that Jefferson’s proposal for unlimited immigration would lead to the triumph of the radical principles of the French Revolution over those of the more moderate American Revolution.
Writing as “Lucius Crassus,” Hamilton argued: “The safety of a republic depends essentially on the energy of a common national sentiment; on a uniformity of principles and habits; on the exemption of the citizens from foreign bias, and prejudice; and on that love of country which will almost invariably be found to be closely connected with birth, education, and family.”
Invoking Jefferson’s own “Notes on Virginia,” Hamilton observed that “foreigners will generally be apt to bring with them attachments to the persons they have left behind; to the country of their nativity, and to its particular customs and manners.” He argued that “it is unlikely that they will bring with them that temperate love of liberty, so essential to real republicanism.”
He continued: “The influx of foreigners must, therefore, tend to produce a heterogeneous compound; to change and corrupt the national spirit; to complicate and confound public opinion; to introduce foreign propensities. In the composition of society, the harmony of the ingredients is all-important, and whatever tends to a discordant intermixture must have an injurious tendency.”
Hamilton concluded: “To admit foreigners indiscriminately to the rights of citizens, the moment they put foot in our country, as recommended in [Jefferson’s] message, would be nothing less than to admit the Grecian horse into the citadel of our liberty and sovereignty.”
As I have repeatedly noted, the openness of certain of the Founding Fathers to non-English immigration was not based on principle, and equality was very far from a core principle of the American Revolution, much less the “sacred” and primary principle that the civic nationalists falsely claim it to be.
Equality was not a core principle of the American Revolution at all, nor does the false and ahistorical conservative distinction between “equality of opportunity” and “equality of result” have anything to do with the famous rhetorical phrase that Jefferson inserted in the Declaration of Independence. The equality to which Jefferson refers is actually the “liberté, égalité, fraternité” of the French Revolution for which he subsequently showed such enthusiasm. Equality is a French concept, not an American one, and is not among the Rights of Englishmen.
Moreover, the Congress rejected Jefferson’s unprincipled and tactical call for open immigration, as it restricted naturalization to “free white men” and ” further directed the clerk of the court to record the entry of all aliens into the United States” in the Naturalization Law of 1802.
We live in an age of lies and falsehoods. The news is fake. The economic statistics are fake. The educations are fake. Churchians practice a fake parody of Christianity. And as Isi Leibler declares, pseudo-liberal and progressive fake jews have abandoned their homeland, their religion, and their Jewish identity in the Jerusalem Post:
Contrary to all the claptrap about democracy that they sanctimoniously preached while in office, leftists are unwilling to accept the fact that their candidate was defeated by a parvenu.
The same chaos has swept through Europe, many of whose citizens are revolting against the failure of the Brussels-based European Union bureaucrats to address their needs and above all the collapse in the quality of their lives resulting from millions of so-called refugees flooding their countries.
This has led to a rise in global populism, a revival of conservative and right-wing political parties and rejection of the “politically correct” way of life imposed by sanctimonious liberal ideologues.
How has this chaos impacted on Diaspora Jews? As history has testified, during periods of stress and anxiety, Diaspora Jews face grave threats. Antisemitism, already having reached record levels since the Nazi era, is poised to become even more vicious.
That situation has been temporarily muted because the prevailing threat of Islamic fundamentalist terrorist attacks in many Western nations has directed public anger toward Muslims rather than Jews. This does not apply to Hungary, Greece and Germany.
The Jews, as a minority that has suffered tyranny and persecution, would be expected under current circumstances to concentrate primarily on their own security. Ethics of the Fathers quotes Hillel the Elder, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I?” Liberal-inclined Diaspora Jews – especially those lacking an authentic Jewish education – appear to have reversed this dictum. They consider that the well-being of the world and politically correct standards of social values must be their priority – with disregard to the harm this inflicts on them as a community.
Observing Conservative and Reform Jewish leaders in the US, accompanied by once-mainstream liberal Jewish groups like the Anti-Defamation League and National Council of Jewish Women, at the forefront of hysterical demonstrations accusing Trump of being fascist and encouraging antisemitism, it is if they have been possessed by a dybbuk.
The same bleeding hearts in the US as well as those in Europe were at the forefront of calls to open the gates to Muslim “refugees” steeped in anti-democratic behavior and nourished on diets of undiluted, visceral antisemitism…. One of the main justifying positive elements of progressive Jews was that even if they did not consider themselves obligated to follow Halacha (Jewish law), their activity would ensure that they at least remained within a Jewish framework. What their leaders are doing now is the opposite – encouraging them to take up liberal causes even if it means forsaking Israel, the most fundamental component providing them with a Jewish identity.
They have reversed Hillel’s maxim and act for what they perceive to be the universal needs of humanity, dismissing the interests of their own people. They are undermining themselves as a community and acting as lemmings marching off a cliff to their own destruction.
There is only one example in Jewish history to which such behavior can be compared. The Jewish Bolsheviks also turned against their own people, and ultimately the revolution consumed them.
Unfortunately, the vociferous anti-Trump Jewish activists represent a far greater proportion of the Left and their bleeding-heart pseudo-liberal allies than the Bolsheviks, who represented an insignificant proportion of Russian Jews.
It is clear that in the Diaspora, committed Jews will remain overwhelmingly supportive of Israel while the pseudo-liberal or progressive Jews will become less interested in Israel and ultimately lose their identity.
The growing divide between the true Jews of Israel and the fake jews who are loyal to neither the West nor Israel is becoming ever more clear. Leibler, as is appropriate, criticizes these fake jews for failing to be loyal to their Jewish identity, or to remain within what he describes as “a Jewish framework”. The Alt-Right, as is also appropriate, criticizes the fake jews for their treacherous dyscivic and dyscivilizational actions against the nations of the West and Western civilization itself.
As Leibler observes, these fake jews are traitors to their people and to their countries of residence alike, as Mark Zuckerberg demonstrated yesterday in his openly anti-Western, anti-American call for global totalitarian rule subject to his speech and thought policing. Ein Welt, Ein Reich, Ein Facebook. He’s even written a manifesto.
History is the story of how we’ve learned to come together in ever greater numbers — from tribes to cities to nations. At each step, we built social infrastructure like communities, media and governments to empower us to achieve things we couldn’t on our own.
Today we are close to taking our next step. Our greatest opportunities are now global — like spreading prosperity and freedom, promoting peace and understanding, lifting people out of poverty, and accelerating science. Our greatest challenges also need global responses — like ending terrorism, fighting climate change, and preventing pandemics. Progress now requires humanity coming together not just as cities or nations, but also as a global community.
Zuckerberg is not the first jew to write a manifesto. It is less well-written than its predecessor, and Mankind had better hope it proves to be less historically destructive as well. Fake jews like nothing better than to call their critics “anti-Semites”, but the fact is, it is the pseudo-liberal and progressive jews of the Left who are observably the true anti-semites, as they have rejected their homeland, they have rejected their religion, and they have rejected their Jewish identity.
Tor sent out an email with a big excerpt from McRapey’s forthcoming attempt to take his inimitable skills at imitation to new heights and rip off both Isaac Asimov and Frank Herbert AT THE SAME TIME:
Enter The Flow With Excerpts from John Scalzi’s The Collapsing Empire
The Collapsing Empire is available March 21, but in the meantime, you can transport yourself into Scalzi’s interstellar epic with excerpts on Tor.com. We’ll be posting chapters all week; you can get started right away with the prologue and Chapter One, and check back all this week for additional excerpts, collected below. Happy Reading!
Yesterday I received an email from an intrepid SF reader who boldly dared to go where few would bother. His conclusions:
I read the excerpt and postscript of it just yesterday. It is really bad – there’s an entire chapter where strategy or politics is discussed by some lady who has been walked in on while fucking Wesley Crusher, and she just keeps going at it while continuing the conversation. Deeply pathetic.
Wait… it turns out I made a mistake. The Amazon Look Inside copy has missing pages during the Wesley Crusher episode, which is why I thought it consumed most of the chapter. After reading the Amazon sample, I looked at the Wesley Crusher chapter that Tor posted, and she only has her conversation while having sex for about two pages or so. It is nevertheless patently ridiculous, although much much funnier in the Look Inside version where she has her third party conversation for about 15 pages while getting plowed by a boy toy.
Sadly, the misunderstood version is a better yarn. The ironic thing about it is that end of the book gives away that the Flow or whatever it is called has been based on some convoluted lie the entire time. And now they finish by having to establish a new lie to keep the galaxy going, or something.
It is surprisingly devoid of snark. Or anything resembling emotion. It reads like a damned board meeting or something. It’s like he plagiarized SFWA treasury meetings for inspiration.
Oh. My. I’m not surprised in the least. But I am amused. You know that later today, there will be an executive at Macmillan flipping through the book and saying, “wait, Patrick paid HOW much for this shit?” But then, I thought, surely the reviewer exaggerates!
No, as it turns out, no, he isn’t.
Chapter Two
Kiva Lagos was busily fucking the brains out of the assistant purser she’d been after for the last six weeks of the Yes, Sir, That’s My Baby’s trip from Lankaran to End when Second Officer Waylov Brennir entered her stateroom, unannounced. “You’re needed,” he said.
“I’m a little busy at the moment,” Kiva said. She’d just finally gotten herself into a groove, so fuck Waylov (not literally, he was awful) if she was going to get out of the groove just because he walked into it. Grooves were hard to come by. People have sex, and he was unannounced. If this was what he walked into, it was his fault, not hers. The assistant purser seemed a little concerned, but Kiva applied a little pressure to make it clear festivities were to continue.
“It’s important.”
“Trust me, so is this.”
“We’ve got a customs official who won’t let us take any haverfruit off the ship,” Brennir said. If he was shocked or scandalized by Lagos’s activities he was doing a good job of hiding it. He mostly looked bored. “Offloading our haverfruit is why we came to End. If we don’t sell it, or develop licenses, we’re screwed. You’re the owner’s representative. You’re going to have to explain to your mother why this trip was the cause of the financial ruin of your family. So perhaps you might like to join Captain Blinnikka in talking with this customs official right now to see if you can resolve this problem. Or you can just go on fucking that junior crew member, ma’am. I’m sure those are equivalent activities as regards your future, and the future of this ship, and your family.”
“Well, shit,” Kiva said. Her groove was definitely gone, and the assistant purser, her little project, looked pretty miserable at the moment. “That was a pretty impressive jab you just gave to someone who can fire your ass, Brennir.”
“You can’t fire me, ma’am,” Brennir said. “I’ve got tenure with the guild. Now, are you coming or not?”
“I’m thinking.”
Well, it is sort of reminiscent of Asimovian naming conventions, I suppose. Awful as it is, I don’t think it quite manages to top this legendary exchange from the Hugo Award-winning Redshirts, though.
“Man, I owe you a blowjob,” Duvall said.
“What?” Dahl said.
“What?” Hester said.
“Sorry,” Duvall said. “In ground forces, when someone does you a favor you tell them you owe them a sex act. If it’s a little thing, it’s a handjob. Medium, blowjob. Big favor, you owe them a fuck. Force of habit. It’s just an expression.”
“Got it,” Dahl said.
“No actual blowjob forthcoming,” Duvall said. “To be clear”
“It’s the thought that counts,” Dahl said, and turned to Hester. “What about you? You want to owe me a blowjob, too?”
“I’m thinking about it ,” Hester said.
You can tell from that gritty, realistic dialogue that McRapey has spent a lot of time with manly, military men, doing manly, military things. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that McRapey has written that I find funnier than this absolute jewel of pure, unadulterated fiction.
[Vox] really has a thing for me, which is straight-up pure envy, as far as I can tell.
My dear, very dear, Mr. Scalzi, while there are certainly authors whose literary accomplishments and talents I envy, from Umberto Eco and Hermann Hesse to Tanith Lee and Edgar Allen Poe, I can assure you, with 100 percent honesty, that you are not, and have never been, among them.