From a recent Darkstream, a response to a man wondering how to go about approaching a woman in whom he is interested.
How should I approach a desk girl at the gym?
Directly. Don’t try to be particularly smooth or anything. What I would do is just ask her if she has a boyfriend. That’s the first thing. If she says yes, then she actually has one or she is not interested in you. Either way, no problem. And if she says no, then ask “would you like to go out to dinner on Friday?” It’s really not that hard.
All the stuff about how girls are different today, it’s so much harder, we can’t do that. You know, the same sort of guys were all saying that 30 years ago too. “It’s so different, it’s so hard.” It’s not hard. And it’s not difficult. Men have been dealing with the same issue since forever, and all it is is fear of rejection. All the ideas about how “oh, this can’t be done, or that can’t be done, or it’s not like that now.” That’s all nonsense.
Yes, there are some differences in terms of how texting has its own rules and so forth. But it’s still the same thing. And all of the little tactical stuff is like two percent of it. All the cute lines and the various things – I mean, the thing that’s so stupid about it is that if a girl is attracted to you, she’s not going to care what you say! The point is that you indicated interest. So you did your part. That’s the male part. That’s the male role: indicate interest. And then the girl decides (snaps fingers) very, very quickly, whether she’s interested or not.
All you’re trying to do with all the different tactics and all the different this, that, and the other thing is attempting to convert a “maybe” into a “yes”. But frankly, the more that you work at it, and the more that you think about it and obsess about it, the more likely you are to convert a “yes” into a “no”.
F says “I tend to overthink really.” No kidding. Every low-status male overthinks. If you tend to overthink, then you are low-status, or average at best. As a former high-status male, I can tell you right now that I spent zero time thinking about that sort of thing. The high-status male has no fear of rejection. He goes, hmm, there are seven pretty girls here. Those are the three that I like best. Of those three, that one looks like a handful. That one looks like she’s probably out of my league. Number three, she’s the one to talk to. Then he goes up to her and says, “hey what’s up?” That’s literally all it takes to get the ball rolling.Continue reading “An Answer to a Stupid Question”