Marxism of the Right critique

As promised in today’s article, a critique of Robert Locke’s article which appeared in American Conservative magazine:

Free spirits, the ambitious, ex-socialists, drug users, and sexual eccentrics often find an attractive political philosophy in libertarianism, the idea that individual freedom should be the sole rule of ethics and government. Libertarianism offers its believers a clear conscience to do things society presently restrains, like make more money, have more sex, or take more drugs. It promises a consistent formula for ethics, a rigorous framework for policy analysis, a foundation in American history, and the application of capitalist efficiencies to the whole of society. But while it contains substantial grains of truth, as a whole it is a seductive mistake.

I’ve already pointed out that ex-socialists have gravitated to the Republican party, where they call themselves neoconservatives, not the libertarians. Libertarianism simply has nothing to interest a socialist, (who requires a vehicle he can use to control other individuals), which is why ex-socialists are known to become Fascists (Benito Mussolini) or neoconservative advocates of “strong government conservatism” instead. Locke confuses legality with a clear conscience here, but legality is not and has never been synonymous with morality, although some fortunate societies may be blessed with a legal system harboring a basis in it.

There are many varieties of libertarianism, from natural-law libertarianism (the least crazy) to anarcho-capitalism (the most), and some varieties avoid some of the criticisms below. But many are still subject to most of them, and some of the more successful varieties—I recently heard a respected pundit insist that classical liberalism is libertarianism—enter a gray area where it is not really clear that they are libertarians at all. But because 95 percent of the libertarianism one encounters at cocktail parties, on editorial pages, and on Capitol Hill is a kind of commonplace “street” libertarianism, I decline to allow libertarians the sophistical trick of using a vulgar libertarianism to agitate for what they want by defending a refined version of their doctrine when challenged philosophically. We’ve seen Marxists pull that before.

This trick isn’t even sophistical. Because libertarianism is intellectually cool, people from Bill Mahre to Condoleeza Rice have wrongly claimed some degree of allegiance to it. The truth is that most people, including Mr. Locke, have a poor understanding of libertarianism. There is no dichotomy between vulgar and refined forms; libertarianism is more coherent and consistent than the conservatism Locke is presumably defending. Since conservatives have pulled this before, would Locke likewise assert that libertarians are the conservatives of the Right on this basis?

This is no surprise, as libertarianism is basically the Marxism of the Right. If Marxism is the delusion that one can run society purely on altruism and collectivism, then libertarianism is the mirror-image delusion that one can run it purely on selfishness and individualism. Society in fact requires both individualism and collectivism, both selfishness and altruism, to function. Like Marxism, libertarianism offers the fraudulent intellectual security of a complete a priori account of the political good without the effort of empirical investigation. Like Marxism, it aspires, overtly or covertly, to reduce social life to economics. And like Marxism, it has its historical myths and a genius for making its followers feel like an elect unbound by the moral rules of their society.

I covered this in the column today. Locke is simply wrong. Libertarianism is not based on economics, it is based on a fear of government and a belief that the adherents of any ideology which find themselves holding the reins of power will soon sacrifice their beliefs in favor of retaining and expanding that power. The only way to prevent this is to spread out, and, wherever possible, eliminate central power, to prevent it from being amassed as long as possible. The proven tendency of Republicans to abandon their small government philosophy, their term-limits and spending cuts, their opposition to unlimited foreign adventures and supranational organizations, is a powerful testimony in support of fundamental libertarian pessimism.

The most fundamental problem with libertarianism is very simple: freedom, though a good thing, is simply not the only good thing in life. Simple physical security, which even a prisoner can possess, is not freedom, but one cannot live without it. Prosperity is connected to freedom, in that it makes us free to consume, but it is not the same thing, in that one can be rich but as unfree as a Victorian tycoon’s wife. A family is in fact one of the least free things imaginable, as the emotional satisfactions of it derive from relations that we are either born into without choice or, once they are chosen, entail obligations that we cannot walk away from with ease or justice. But security, prosperity, and family are in fact the bulk of happiness for most real people and the principal issues that concern governments.

This is meaningless gobbledy-gook. Libertarianism doesn’t argue that freedom is the only good thing in life, only that it is the foundation of all good things in life. Security, prosperity and family are the principal issues that concern governments, what Locke omits is the fact that the evidence strongly suggests that governments are dedicated to destroying all three. A government that limits an individual’s right to own guns is not pro-security. A government that taxes its people more than 10 percent is not pro-prosperity. And a government that makes divorce easy and funds abortions is not pro-family. And this is a so-called conservative government I am describing!

Libertarians try to get around this fact that freedom is not the only good thing by trying to reduce all other goods to it through the concept of choice, claiming that everything that is good is so because we choose to partake of it. Therefore freedom, by giving us choice, supposedly embraces all other goods. But this violates common sense by denying that anything is good by nature, independently of whether we choose it. Nourishing foods are good for us by nature, not because we choose to eat them. Taken to its logical conclusion, the reduction of the good to the freely chosen means there are no inherently good or bad choices at all, but that a man who chose to spend his life playing tiddlywinks has lived as worthy a life as a Washington or a Churchill.

Apparently Locke would be happier with a central committee deciding what people will do with their lives. A man who chose to spend his life playing tiddlywinks has done more for humanity than most of the Great Men of history. What happened to the conservatives who only wished to be left alone to live their lives as they saw fit?

Furthermore, the reduction of all goods to individual choices presupposes that all goods are individual. But some, like national security, clean air, or a healthy culture, are inherently collective. It may be possible to privatize some, but only some, and the efforts can be comically inefficient. Do you really want to trace every pollutant in the air back to the factory that emitted it and sue?

Locke is relying on amorphous terms in order to try to avoid the fact that in every case, even those examples he gives, individual choices, taken in the aggregate, determine these things. Mises demonstrated that there is no such thing as collective action, one need only to examine a stock market to see that while there are patterns of aggregate individual behavior, collective behavior does not exist. Aristotle explained how without a Mover, there is no Movement.

L
ibertarians rightly concede that one’s freedom must end at the point at which it starts to impinge upon another person’s, but they radically underestimate how easily this happens. So even if the libertarian principle of “an it harm none, do as thou wilt,” is true, it does not license the behavior libertarians claim. Consider pornography: libertarians say it should be permitted because if someone doesn’t like it, he can choose not to view it. But what he can’t do is choose not to live in a culture that has been vulgarized by it.

Apparently the concept of emigration is foreign to Mr. Locke. By his reckoning, Locke can’t choose not to live in a society where home prices haven’t been artificially inflated by interest rate cuts either.

Libertarians in real life rarely live up to their own theory but tend to indulge in the pleasant parts while declining to live up to the difficult portions. They flout the drug laws but continue to collect government benefits they consider illegitimate. This is not just an accidental failing of libertarianism’s believers but an intrinsic temptation of the doctrine that sets it up to fail whenever tried, just like Marxism.

Or just like Republicanism. As I pointed out today, the Libertarian party is more ideologically pure any other party on the American presidential ballot. Randomly throwing out similarities with Marxism – libertarians are dependent on H2O, just like Marxists – proves absolutely nothing.

Libertarians need to be asked some hard questions. What if a free society needed to draft its citizens in order to remain free? What if it needed to limit oil imports to protect the economic freedom of its citizens from unfriendly foreigners? What if it needed to force its citizens to become sufficiently educated to sustain a free society? What if it needed to deprive landowners of the freedom to refuse to sell their property as a precondition for giving everyone freedom of movement on highways? What if it needed to deprive citizens of the freedom to import cheap foreign labor in order to keep out poor foreigners who would vote for socialistic wealth redistribution?

1. Then it would not be free. 2. Then it would not be economically free. 3. Government education does not sustain a free society, which is why government-funded education is one of the ten pillars of Marxism as well as one of the 25 points of the National Socialist Munich Manifesto. 4. It doesn’t, and everyone is not given freedom of movement on the highways, as everyone with a traffic ticket knows. 5. This is tangential to a valid point, which is why I have argued that open immigration is actually an anti-libertarian position.

In each of these cases, less freedom today is the price of more tomorrow. Total freedom today would just be a way of running down accumulated social capital and storing up problems for the future. So even if libertarianism is true in some ultimate sense, this does not prove that the libertarian policy choice is the right one today on any particular question.

In four of these five cases, Locke demonstrates that he gets it precisely backwards. Less freedom today for more tomorrow! Is this sort of Orwellian construction really the backbone of modern conservativism? No wonder the paleo-conservatives want nothing to do with today’s “conservative” frauds.

Furthermore, if limiting freedom today may prolong it tomorrow, then limiting freedom tomorrow may prolong it the day after and so on, so the right amount of freedom may in fact be limited freedom in perpetuity. But if limited freedom is the right choice, then libertarianism, which makes freedom an absolute, is simply wrong. If all we want is limited freedom, then mere liberalism will do, or even better, a Burkean conservatism that reveres traditional liberties. There is no need to embrace outright libertarianism just because we want a healthy portion of freedom, and the alternative to libertarianism is not the USSR, it is America’s traditional liberties.

This borders on parody. Determining the “right” amount of freedom sounds far more Marxist than anything any libertarian has ever said. And one need only look at the goals and historical policies of Marxist governments and compare them to the goals and policies of the Libertarian party to see how completely they are in opposition to one another.

Libertarianism’s abstract and absolutist view of freedom leads to bizarre conclusions. Like slavery, libertarianism would have to allow one to sell oneself into it. (It has been possible at certain times in history to do just that by assuming debts one could not repay.) And libertarianism degenerates into outright idiocy when confronted with the problem of children, whom it treats like adults, supporting the abolition of compulsory education and all child-specific laws, like those against child labor and child sex. It likewise cannot handle the insane and the senile.

By this point, the words “bizarre conclusions” appear to be a strong case of projection. Libertarianism does NOT treat children like adults, nor does it have any problem handling the insane and the senile. The only party with any noticeable elements for expanding children’s rights is not the Libertarians, but the Democrats, the stronger of the two strong government parties.

Libertarians argue that radical permissiveness, like legalizing drugs, would not shred a libertarian society because drug users who caused trouble would be disciplined by the threat of losing their jobs or homes if current laws that make it difficult to fire or evict people were abolished. They claim a “natural order” of reasonable behavior would emerge. But there is no actual empirical proof that this would happen. Furthermore, this means libertarianism is an all-or-nothing proposition: if society continues to protect people from the consequences of their actions in any way, libertarianism regarding specific freedoms is illegitimate. And since society does so protect people, libertarianism is an illegitimate moral position until the Great Libertarian Revolution has occurred.

Society protects people? Really? Actually, if Locke bothered to let facts get in the way of his elaborate fantasy construction, he’d know that society, in the form of government or the police, is in no way legally obligated to protect anyone. As far as empirical proofs with regards to drugs go, there is ample empirical proof that the Drug War erodes liberty and erodes security at the same time.

And is society really wrong to protect people against the negative consequences of some of their free choices? While it is obviously fair to let people enjoy the benefits of their wise choices and suffer the costs of their stupid ones, decent societies set limits on both these outcomes. People are allowed to become millionaires, but they are taxed. They are allowed to go broke, but they are not then forced to starve. They are deprived of the most extreme benefits of freedom in order to spare us the most extreme costs. The libertopian alternative would be perhaps a more glittering society, but also a crueler one.

Like a Marxist, Locke conflates empathy with government action. A libertarian society wouldn’t necessarily be any crueller, in fact, without the illusion of government “help”, individuals and churches would be more inclined to pick up the slack, as they did in the days before the conservative Great Society of LBJ. Locke provides more evidence for an article called Conservatives: Marxists of the Right than he does for his actual premise.

Empirically, most people don’t actually want absolute freedom, which is why democracies don’t elect libertarian governments. Irony of ironies, people don’t choose absolute freedom. But this refutes libertarianism by
its own premise, as libertarianism defines the good as the freely chosen, yet people do not choose it. Paradoxically, people exercise their freedom not to be libertarians.

This is why a lot of people bitched about the AT&T breakup too. And yet, there’s not a lot of people pining for the days of black rotary-dialed telephones either. The fact that most people wanted to be treated like sheep doesn’t mean that it is right to do so.

The political corollary of this is that since no electorate will support libertarianism, a libertarian government could never be achieved democratically but would have to be imposed by some kind of authoritarian state, which rather puts the lie to libertarians’ claim that under any other philosophy, busybodies who claim to know what’s best for other people impose their values on the rest of us. Libertarianism itself is based on the conviction that it is the one true political philosophy and all others are false. It entails imposing a certain kind of society, with all its attendant pluses and minuses, which the inhabitants thereof will not be free to opt out of except by leaving.

As opposed to the establishment of democracies in Iraq and America, which were established by an electorate and not military force. Wait a minute! Again, Locke is simply making silly loops around a differently-colored sky. And at least libertarians will allow people to opt out by leaving, the same is not true of any Marxist society, or even modern American society. There’s a few more paragraphs, but at this point I got bored and what I’ve covered should suffice to demonstrate that Locke does not even begin to make a case against the libertarian philosophy, much less prove its relationship to Marxism.


Blogroll requests

A few readers have asked me to add them to the blogroll over the last few weeks. I’m happy to do so, but I don’t feel like data-mining my email to dig them out. Please post your information here in the comments; information is defined as the name of the blog and the related URL. For those of you who are either socially challenged or new to blogging, it is also generally considered de rigeur to feature a reasonably prominent link to the blogger of whom you are making the request.

That being said, if I can’t be bothered to dig through my own email, what are the chances I’m going to bother verifying that you are operating your blog in accordance with blogosphere etiquette?

If I sound a bit world-weary, it’s only because I’m about to engage in a filthy activity that raises real questions in my mind with regards to who, exactly, is the master in this house, followed by more last-minute scribbling before Volume III goes to press. While I’m pleased that the text bits were well received, adding two more one week before going gold is not my idea of the safe and wise approach to publishing.


Killing women to support them

As the Pan-Galactic one pointed out on his blog, the big story that the legacy media won’t report about the recent judge shooting is that all of the guards in the courtroom were women. So, despite the feminist gynomyth that insists modern combat does not involve strength or speed, the armed guards ended up getting decked, disarmed and shot, not necessarily in that order. Well done, ladies. I guess if you build your worldview around movies starring Demi Moore, reality can come as a very ugly surprise.

I find it ironic that these supposedly pro-women feminists keep pushing to put women in positions where they end up getting killed. The top-rated women aviators can’t land on carriers without killing themselves, armed female guards can’t guard an unarmed prisoner without getting blown away, and all the while fetal-identification technology is leading to a quiet rise in the elimination of unborn female babies.

But we’re the ones who hate women. Right.


Be free, my brothers, my sisters, be free

Now we’re getting somewhere. The browsers visiting this blog of late:

52.53 percent: Internet Explorer
36.36 percent: Firefox
07.07 percent: Mozilla/Netscape
02.02 percent: Opera

Space Bunny and I live in an Opera house, but I’d encourage those of you in the Explorer group to consider moving over to Firefox, Mozilla or Opera. Seriously, it’s worth it. And remember two things: 1) Bill Gates gives large sums of money to left-wing causes*. 2) Every time someone switches to a non-Microsoft browser, an angel gets its wings.

It’s nice to see the Linux/Unix percentage climb up to six percent too. Switching OS is much harder than switching browsers – I still have to boot into XP two or three times a day myself – but I’m pleased to see more people continue to take the plunge and break out of Windows. By the way, the new OpenOffice 1.1.3 is out and runs very nicely. Not a whole lot in the way of new features – OO 2.0 looks like the potential Word/Excel/Powerpoint-killer – but it’s solid, pretty and eliminates any need to pay for a Word or Excel upgrade ever again even if you have to stick with a Windows OS.

* From Salon: In 1997, Bill Gates contributed $35,000 in support of a Washington state ballot initiative supporting gun control. In 1993, he ponied up $80,000 to fight a conservative initiative seeking to roll back state taxes. And ever since 1994, the William H. Gates III Foundation, Bill’s private philanthropic funnel, has been busy channeling millions to groups that specialize in “reproductive health and family planning….Look at the personal checkbook record: pro taxes, pro birth control, against guns. The evidence is clear — Bill Gates is a bleeding heart do-gooder liberal.


In defense of blackmail II

Josh plays puppy:

I say blackmail should be illegal because innocent people can be unduly harassed and defamed by a blackmailer with fake evidence. Add to that the blackmailer faces no consequences.

Yes, because eliminating harassment and unpleasantry is a proper responsibility of the government, right? No doubt that’s why the government schools are so uniformly civil and enjoyable. Josh is chasing his own tail here, because if a blackmailer presents fake evidence, he has committed fraud and is liable for facing the consequences of any damages caused by that fraud.

Take Nick B’s much-feared situation of the grope-and-flash. False evidence such as this necessarily features actual evidence behind it. The person being blackmailed has the option of suing the blackmailer, who would have to present a woman to testify in court that she was in fact having an affair with the innocent victim. Would it be possible for him to convince her to lie? Sure, but now we are piling improbabilities on top of absurdities, which should suffice to demonstrate to everyone what an incredibly stupid basis for law this would be.

I assert that the technology argument is not only hypothetical at this point, but also indicates that what is today considered “proof” will likely not be considered proof tomorrow.


Same planet, different worlds

A Northern Alliance listener comments on the 1st Anniversary show:

Another caller. I love this call, but I don’t know who it is. I guess I was distracted as I wrote of Doug. Radio sucks. We should have a transcript of all the words. But I’m not Lileks or King, so I don’t have a radio recorder. So I listen as the call winds up. Maybe I’ll hear his name…..Vox. Would that be the libertarian Vox Popoli?

Shameless, that a Libertarian would vote for someone other than George W. Bush in such trying times. I’ve never revisited Vox since I learned that he voted for the Libertarian ticket last November. He obviously does not understand how important it is to confront International Terrorism. They call him Vox Day. This is not to be confused with Vox Dei.

So shameless indeed. (Think Reelection Day when you say that). When are the times not trying? As I’ve pointed out on NARN before, things are actually a lot safer than they were when the main threat was the Soviet Union launching thousands of nuclear missiles at the entire country instead of a suitcase nuke taking out Manhattan. I understand why Manahattanites might be nervous these days, but if a tidal wave were responsible for taking out the island instead of jihadists, there would be a lot of people who’d be half inclined to celebrate the removal of a cancer on the country. And that goes treble for Washington DC considering the reports of audiences cheering the destruction of the White House in Independence Day.

Why on Earth would a libertarian vehemently opposed to the expansion of central government power EVER vote for a globalist champion such as George D. Bush? I’m still trying to figure out why conservatives are STILL falling for the guy five years on. At least now I understand how it will be possible for the Antichrist to hold an amount of appeal for some Christians.


The Law of Unintended Consequences

From the New York Times:

The tradition is “power hour,” or “21 for 21,” as it is known in some other places across the country: 21-year-olds go to a bar at midnight on their birthdays, flash newly legal identification and then try to down 21 shots in the hour or so before the bar closes, or as fast as possible.

It can be a deadly rite of passage. Officials in California, Michigan, New Mexico, North Dakota, Rhode Island and Texas have reported deaths from such drinking binges over the last five years.

Colleges and cities have tried various tactics to stop the ritual, and now, hoping to deprive power hour of its frenzy, Texas and North Dakota are considering legislation that would declare that 21-year-olds reach the legal drinking age not at the stroke of midnight on their birthdays but seven or eight hours later in the morning.

And who caused this problem in the first place? The same politicians attempting to fix it now. All of my friends did the shot train when we turned 21, which involved lining up 42 shots, 21 on each side of the table. The birthday boy hits his side alternating with whoever steps forward to slam the shot on the other side, taking him from zero to sixty in less than half and hour. I was in high school when the drinking age was raised from 18 in my state and most of my class just missed being grandfathered in, so, needless to say, by the time we had the opportunity to legally go out and drink, we went overboard making up for lost time.

At my court hearing, the judge asked if there were any mitigating factors. (Among other things, I’d ended up in the hospital AND the police station on my 21st birthday, thanks to the White Buffalo and Big Chilly.) When I told him that it had been my 21st birthday, he sighed and put his head down on his desk before giving me the mandatory minimum. Hence the THUG LIFE tattoo across my stomach, or wait, maybe that’s Tupac. Anyhow….

European countries don’t have this particular problem because without a hard-and-fast drinking age, their youth don’t tend to fetishize it the way Americans do. True, their lack of an automobile culture reduces the inherent dangers of drinking and driving, but no law will keep a hammered 21-year old from driving anyhow, since a BAL over thirty is not exactly conducive to contemplation.

About the only thing dumber than the drinking laws are the little portable breathalyzers that you can buy now. As Tucker Maxx points out, they’re like waving a big red flag in front of a herd of really dumb, really excitable bulls. Then again, one could make a powerful case for them as modern evolutionary aids.


A Bush too far

Robert Novak considers 2008:

Nationally prominent Republicans are talking to each other about the possibility of getting Florida Gov. Jeb Bush to accept the vice-presidential nomination in 2008 since he has ruled out running for president that year.

Bush probably would be the front-runner for the party’s next presidential nomination if he only had a different last name. GOP politicians agree that five Bush presidential nominations out of the last six campaigns would be one too many for the country to take. But second place on the ticket might be acceptable to voters.

Lovely. Conservative Republicans will no doubt be thrilled to be given the choice between an abortion-friendly woman with no executive experience backed up by yet another Bush, or Hillary Clinton. BECAUSE (basic arithmetic aside) A VOTE FOR [Libertarian candidate] IS A VOTE FOR CLINTON!

Cthulhu 2008!


In defense of blackmail

Joe Carter poses a conundrum:

But while blackmail is a sin, should it also be a crime? Libertarians, who claim it is a “victimless crime” would say no. Would a Christian libertarian also argue in favor decriminalizing the practice? The reason I ask is because one the main complaints I have with most libertarians is that they often work backwards from a grievance to the development of their core beliefs. Christians, on the other hand, must start with Biblical principles and work their way to a coherent political philosophy.

But a number of bloggers whose intellect and opinions I respect (particularly John Coleman, Josh Claybourn, and Vox Day) subscribe to some version of Christian libertarianism. While I don’t find the political theory to be a tenable option, I’m open to changing my opinion and so I’m eager to hear a defense of blackmail from a Biblical perspective.

My favorite thing about the Evangelical Outpost is that one can always count on Joe to bring up something interesting to consider while simultaneously calling someone out on it. I suppose I could imitate the Panda’s Thumbkins and tell him that there is a plethora of material written by Very Important Names defending blackmail on Christian grounds somewhere Out There, but instead, I’ll see if I can make a case. Although this will probably cause CAIR, Atrios and the Electrolites to conclude that I am also a blackmailer, in addition to my copious other crimes against humanity.

First, there is nothing criminal with regards to disseminating non-private information about an individidual. You might find it very embarassing to have your wife learn that you were deported from Italy after being caught with your pants down in the act of pretending to molest the statue of Juliet by the Veronese police, but there’s no law preventing me from telling her. Or sending her the digital pictures, BC. Nor is there any law which forbids one party from giving money to another party in return for legal services, or as a gift.

There are two routes to defense here. One is the link between the Christian intellectual tradition and “Die Gedanken, sie sind frei”. Freedom of thought is an integral part of free will, but to ban blackmail is to necessarily engage in thought-policing, since it is the intentions, rather than the actions, which are being judged. Your intention is to buy my silence; you are operating under the assumption that I intend to inform others if you do not pay. Blackmail is therefore inherently a thought crime since if it occurs, no action has actually been taken by the blackmailer.

Second, the commandments to the Church in the proper means of dealing with remorseless sinners is potentially relevant here. Exposing the sins of an unrepentant individual to others, far from being a wrongful act, is actually required of the church member in good standing. Since such exposure is a virtuous act under Biblical principles, it cannot and should not be viewed as something negative, much less as the basis for a crime.

So, WB, about those pictures of you and that elephant seal in Carmel….


Ta-ta, Ticketmaster

Captain Ed is outraged by Mike Tice’s admission of ticketmongering:

Instead of working to boost that by improving as a coach, he decided instead to run a little criminal conspiracy with his players and his coaches. Even if that stopped when he became head coach, the inappropriate nature of his lockerroom racket should disqualify him from any leadership position (as if his on-field performance doesn’t already fill that ticket). Small wonder, then, that Randy Moss seemed to present such intractable discipline problems with the coaching staff setting this kind of example. They not only set the tone for the players, they may have exploited them to maximize their own profits.

Sheer idiotic greed. This is what the Vikings want us to buy with a publicly-financed stadium?

Criminal conspiracy, yes! I don’t have any problem whatsoever with Mike Tice scalping tickets, since every single coach in every single professional league, plus the big NCAA sports, does it. Anti-scalping laws are quintessential bad law; they are a violation of property rights and are rightly ignored by everyone. Tice denies he ran the scalping operation as head coach, but even if he did, so what? The league knows what’s going on and it’s obvious, considering that not every NFL player shows up at the Super Bowl and yet the stands are still packed.

Even so, I won’t shed any tears if this stupid non-scandal makes Tice’s position as head coach untenable. Anyone who is so slow as to run the ball less than 15 times per game against three of the worst run defenses shouldn’t be a head coach in the NFL. Tice doesn’t lack guts, which is why I expect him to ride this out, it’s a deficiency in the little grey cells that is the problem.

And speaking of little criminal conspiracies, I knowingly recycled my paper and plastic after the posted and permitted time last night. Settle down, ladies, I know how you love a rebel. What can I say? It’s just how I am.