Six rules of strategic reshuffle

William Hague provides some rare insight into the backdoor dealings of a parliamentary system in his critique of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s recent Shadow Cabinet reshuffle:

The first rule, for a leader whose authority is anything short of total, is that it should come as a complete surprise, preferably a bolt from the bluest of skies. This is to prevent your colleagues from seeking to negotiate or combining to frustrate you. The date should be concealed even from some of the leader’s closest aides, with fake or easily cancelled engagements in the diary.

The second rule is that if any test of strength develops between you the leader and a subordinate, you have to win. If a colleague is immovable don’t try to move them. But once you say they’re moving, they have to go, whatever the cost. This is true even if it brings you down, because otherwise your weakness will make future shuffles impossible and bring you down anyway. In other words, you either pretend to be happy with Hilary Benn or you move him, but you certainly don’t show unhappiness and fail to move him.

The third rule is never to explain in public why you have dismissed any individual. Politicians don’t like being sacked, but on the whole they get over it. They still have hope for the future, and can sometimes be brought back with some gratitude on their part.

The fourth rule is that your new appointments should accentuate the divisions among your enemies. Promote some people from a different wing of the party who are proving technically able, so that they then have a vested interest in your success. Corbyn benefits enormously from Labour’s moderates being divided between those willing to serve with him and those who are sitting things out. But a shuffle is a chance to make their divisions worse, not push them together.

Here we have to come to the fifth rule, which takes us away from the
politics of personalities to how policy on major issues is made. This
rule states that a reshuffle, while not breaking any of the first four
rules, should make it easier for a party to unite in the future on an
issue it finds difficult.

The sixth rule states that, however much you’ve messed up with rules two
to five, never forget the first rule. A leader without the capacity to
surprise is without the power of tactical initiative.

Politics is a very dirty and intrinsically dishonest business. I’m glad I decided to stay out of it, although sometimes I wonder how things might have turned out if I’d gone with the program and aimed at Congress.

Regardless, Hague’s comments are a fascinating glimpse into a world we seldom see.


Musings on Immigration, Part I

This is a guest post from an acquaintance of mine with an interest in history. While I don’t agree with all of it, I thought his perspective was interesting and worth sharing here. – Vox

The mass sexual assaults that blighted Cologne – and the despicable response of Cologne mayor Henriette Reker – has highlighted, once again, the danger facing Europe.  Indeed, Europe has not faced a danger like this since the final days of the Roman Empire, when the once-proud society could no longer muster the will to marshal its still quite-considerable resources and fight the barbarian incursion.  Rome committed suicide a very long time before Rome itself was stormed.

Committed suicide?  Yes, it did; very few Romans truly believed that it was worth trying to fight to save Rome.  The elites cared nothing for the suffering of their people, who found the barbarians potential allies in the face of crushing taxation and heavy oppression; the civil bureaucracy was bloated and corrupt; the army too weak to crush the barbarians … Rome decayed from within long before the end finally came. And that, alas, may be the fate of Western Europe, unless we take steps now.

Let me see if I can place the current danger in historical context.

The Second World War did immense physical and psychological damage to Europe.  Physically, the continent lay in ruins; France, Denmark, the Netherlands and Norway had been invaded and occupied, Germany had been crushed and then split in two, Britain had escaped occupation, but had exhausted itself trying to win the war.  Psychologically, the continent’s self-confidence had been destroyed.  Nationalism and militarism had been thoroughly discredited.  Worse, perhaps, Europe was no longer a power in the world.  Power had passed firmly to the USA and the USSR.

If this wasn’t bad enough, the Cold War created a whole series of additional problems.  Western Europe needed the United States, as the US was the only hope of a conventional defence against the USSR.  But Europe was (rightly) terrified of a Third World War.  The USSR might not be able to do more than limited damage to the USA, yet there was no doubt that the USSR could turn Western Europe into a radioactive wasteland.  Victory would be a meaningless phrase.  This spurred a Europe-wide policy that, on one hand, fought to keep the US engaged and, on the other hand, restrain the US from picking a fight with the USSR.

The European nightmare was a flashpoint in East Asia – a second Korean War, perhaps – that turned into a general war.  Much of the anti-Americanism that pervades European thought owes its origins to the concern that America would trigger an unwinnable (for Europe) war.

Meanwhile, there was also a serious need to curb the appeal of communism.    Post-war Europeans were desperate.  The USSR might not need to invade to take over.  European elites countered this by creating both a social welfare system – intent on reducing human misery, which fed radicalism – and working desperately to build up Europe’s economy, while relying on the US to guarantee security and keep the Germans in their place.

It was into this poisoned environment that the first waves of mass migration arrived.

There are, I should note before I go any further, two different types of immigration.  The first is the single person or handful of people who move to a new country and adapt to their new environment.  They speak the language, they marry natives and generally they repay their hosts for welcoming them.  Such immigrants are a blessing and very few people would argue otherwise.  They may look different, but they’re largely culturally identical to the natives.  Their children don’t think of themselves as anything else.

This isn’t a comfortable process.  Moving from Britain to America, two nations that are practically cousins, can cause no end of culture shock.  The immigrant may feel overwhelmed, or out of place, and unsure if he truly wants to belong.  But the single immigrant, the isolated case, is surrounded by people from the new country.  He has no choice, but to learn to become like them – or at least to learn how to get along.

The second type, by contrast, occurs when a large number of migrants arrives at roughly the same time.  They may have decent motives, like the first type, but they have a tendency to clump together with their own kind.  That’s human nature.  That’s why you see expatriate settlements of Westerners in many countries; they prefer the company of their fellow Westerners to the natives.  They have no strong incentive to go native.  Indeed, they may have a strong disincentive to go native, because the familiarity of home is all around them.  Being with people who think like you is comforting, particularly when you are surrounded by a much larger community that doesn’t.

But it is this form of immigration that has caused many of our problems.  To paraphrase a line from SM Stirling, flavouring the stew is one thing, but making a whole new stew pot is quite another.

Europe’s first wave of migrants were mainly the products of decolonisation.  For example, A large number of Indians arrived in Britain from Uganda after they were evicted by Idi Amin.  France took in a vast number of Arabs from North Africa after losing a war in Algeria and its colony there.  Their arrival was not warmly welcomed by many of the locals, which caused major problems for the elites.  A rise in nationalism would doom the planned confederation of European states (which eventually would become the European Union) and potentially reawaken dangers that had nearly ripped the continent apart twice.  Their response was to slander everyone who objected as fascists, and to draw links between them and the Nazis (it helped that some of the objectors were genuine fascists).  There was considerable grassroots opposition to immigration, but very little political opposition.

The increasing numbers of migrants, however, started to produce a whole new stew pot of ethnic minority communities.  Their existence as potential voters, combined with concessions by politicians, allowed them to bring in even more immigrants.  Why should a family not be allowed to live in the West, they asked, when the head of the household already has permission to reside there?  Boys and girls raised in Britain, for example,  were pushed into marrying boys and girls back home, who would then apply for immigration rights as spouses of British citizens.  Instead of assimilating, the constant arrival of newcomers ensured that the communities remained isolated.

This probably requires some explanation.  If you grow up in a minority community, much of your identity is drawn from the fact that you are not part of the majority.   You will be surrounded by people who are like you, by a tribe united against the outside world, a tribe that has strong ties to the homeland.  Doing something without being noticed by someone who will report back to your parents is extremely difficult, particularly if you are a young girl.  Many of the older folks don’t speak the native tongue.  A dissident trapped within such a community, like a girl who doesn’t want to be forced into marriage, has very little hope of leaving it. And if she does, she is cut off from the community forever.

Indeed, one explanation for the spread of radical Islam to the young is that it has an appeal to children who are otherwise tightly controlled by their parents. They find that they can embrace the religion and use it to shame their parents who are not practicing Muslims.

The larger the community, the less truck it has with outsiders.  It doesn’t care for outside interference, nor for outside law.  Attempts to impose even the basics of Western law in minority communities meet with heavy resistance: Western law, after all, does not run in non-Western countries.  Customs ranging from female circumcision to arranged and forced marriages were traditional, after all.

Europe blinked. The societies that had once said: “this burning of widows is your custom; prepare the funeral pile. But my nation has also a custom.  When men burn women alive we hang them, and confiscate all their property.  My carpenters shall therefore erect gibbets on which to hang all concerned when the widow is consumed.  Let us all act according to national customs” no longer had the self-confidence to impose its will on the outsiders.  The elites were still nervous about the resurgence of nationalism, so they did their best to smooth over the problem.

Their solution to this problem was to promote the doctrine of multiculturalism, the belief that all societies – at base – were equal.  This was based on an insultingly obvious lie and a cringingly unavoidable contradiction.  The lie was the claim that all societies were equal – a society that believes in equal rights for women is far superior to one that believes that women are second-class at best, chattel at worst – and the contradiction was that everyone believed in the doctrine of multiculturalism.  Multiculturalism, in short, was based on a premise that all cultures were of one mind on the matter of multiculturalism.  By its very nature, multiculturalism proved that multiculturalism did not work – and never could.

And yet, those who disagreed with the premise were attacked as racists.  There was no attempt to study the problem logically – there could be no such attempt, as far as the elites were concerned – and so the problem continued to fester.  Or, put another way, European law largely surrendered control over the territories.  As native power and authority receded, elements that wanted autonomy gained in power.

This was disastrous.  Young men raised within the communities, for example, were not taught to accept that women were equal.  Women did not have control over their own bodies.  A girl might be defended by her family, but she could not defend herself.  Young men, raised on something that might well be called rape culture and imbued with barbaric views on women, knowing better than to touch a girl with a family that might avenge her (but also might insist she married her rapist to restore the family honour), caused no end of trouble with ‘white sluts.’  This problem is hardly unique, either.  Serious sexual assaults are alarmingly common in countries where women are regarded as second-class citizens.

There was a second effect that was not noticed at the time, although it should have been predictable.  Dissidents within the communities were either driven out or silenced.  The problem with looking for moderate Muslims is not that they don’t exist, but that any moderate Muslim with half a brain knows that if he sticks his head up he’ll lose it.  A combination of the unwillingness of the native law to defend free speech and the absolute willingness of the extremists to crush it has silenced most of the moderates.  Those who are not silent live in fear for their lives.

The problems facing Europe now – after 9/11, after Paris, after Cologne – are twofold.  First, there is the presence of large communities that are disconnected from the native culture, that do not share its views, that are dominated by aggressive and forceful leaders intent on stamping their values on everyone else.  Attacks on natives, Jews, women and everyone who dares support Israel or speak out against Islam are increasing rapidly.  A climate of fear is spreading its wings over Europe.

The vast majority of those communities may not be violent, but it doesn’t matter.  A relative handful of insurgents, as the British discovered in Northern Ireland, can make life difficult for the authorities for years.  Ordinary Irish citizens either supported the insurgents, even if they weren’t actual fighters themselves, or were intimidated into silence.  It is far too easy to imagine community leaders in the no-go zones refusing to hand over suspects to the police, because they would probably lose their positions – and their heads – if they did.

The second problem, however, is the feckless behaviour of the European elites, particularly Germany.  Opening up the borders and allowing uncounted numbers of migrants, mainly young men, to enter was utterly insane.  It was preposterous to believe that they would automatically embrace European values, when they were neither raised in them nor given a strong reason to assimilate.  Instead, raised in societies where trusting someone outside your family is stupid, they represent a major danger to European society.  The European elites were willing to sacrifice the peace and safety of European citizens so they could feel good about themselves.  And the attacks on New Year’s Eve have blown their desperate attempts to cover up the scale of the problem right out of the water.

I rather doubt the next five years are going to be peaceful.

The question now is simple; can European governments, and Europeans themselves, muster the strength to tackle the problem before it becomes any worse?

Frankly, there are only a handful of possible outcomes.  Resolute steps now may stem the crisis without mass slaughter and effective genocide.  This requires European governments to work up the nerve to take action and swallow the criticism they will receive from their fellow-travellers on the left.  Alternatively, strong right-wing governments may be elected, which will have a brief to crush the threat using all necessary measures.  The problem with electing a strong man, as many countries have found out to their cost, is that getting rid of him after he has served his purpose is incredibly difficult.

But those are the cheerful options.  The others include mass flight from Europe, civil war, balkanisation and a descent into the darkness currently enwrapping the Middle East in its shroud.

I will address the steps European Governments can take, now, to deal with the crisis in the next article.


SJWs defending their turf

One of the people following my author page received this from Goodreads today:

Hi there

Your account was recently brought to our attention.  Upon review, we have decided to remove it from the site.  A CSV of the books you shelved is attached for your personal records.  You are banned from using Goodreads in any capacity going forward.

Sincerely,

The Goodreads Team

That’s four banned already. As I said, for all the libertarian pretensions of the CEO, the company has been entirely converged. The purpose of Goodreads is no longer to simply read and review books, but to advance social justice ideals by building up SJW authors and attacking anti-SJW authors and anyone who supports them.

That is why Goodreads will go into decline and Amazon will eventually shut them down and replace them. The only way a converged business can survive is as a parasite, either with a government host or a corporate one.


Smart diplomacy works

How fortunate that Iran is our friend now:

The crew of two small Navy craft are being held by Iran, but American officials have received assurances from Tehran that the crew and vessels will be returned safely and promptly.

Pentagon spokesman Peter Cook told The Associated Press that the boats were moving between Kuwait and Bahrain when the U.S. lost contact with them.

“We have been in contact with Iran and have received assurances that the crew and the vessels will be returned promptly,” Cook said.

U.S. officials said that the incident happened near Farsi Island, situated in the middle of the Persian Gulf. They say it stemmed from some type of mechanical trouble with one of the boats, causing them to run aground. The troops were picked up by Iran.

And to think you doubted Obama. For shame.


That went well

Talk about going well beyond the call of duty:

Five Stars

Awesome book! Nail, meet the HAMMER! Great interview as well on my national show, The Financial Safari!

Coach Pete

I did an interview last night on The Financial Safari; I understand it will be broadcast in a few weeks. I thought it went rather well, but apparently it went even better than I’d thought.

Anyhow, it was very gracious of him to post a review and I’ll provide a link to the interview here when it runs.


THIS depression

I remember, when after publishing The Return of the Great Depression in 2009, various critics used to cite various “green shoots” reports in an attempt to taunt me for being incorrect. “What depression?” they would ask mockingly.

“Just wait,” I would tell them. “We are in the early stages of a depression that is bigger than the Great Depression.” Seven years later, even rosy-goggled mainstream economists like Brad DeLong are admitting that the situation is historically dire.

Economist Joe Stiglitz warned back in 2010 that the world risked sliding into a “Great Malaise.” This week, he followed up on that grim prediction, saying, “We didn’t do what was needed, and we have ended up precisely where I feared we would.”

Joe Stiglitz is right.

In the aftermath of 2008, Stiglitz was indeed one of those warning that I and economists like me were wrong. Without extraordinary, sustained and aggressive policies to rebalance the economy, he said, we would never get back to what before 2008 we had thought was normal.

I was wrong. He was right. Future economic historians may not call the period that began in 2007 the “Greatest Depression.” But as of now, it is highly and increasingly probable that they will call it the “Longest Depression.”

You don’t say…. Remember, while I am certainly capable of being wrong, I am well-read, well-educated, and significantly more intelligent than the norm. So, even if I am wrong, I usually have a fairly solid set of facts and logic behind the position I am expressing.

Perhaps more importantly, and unlike most of those who opine on such matters, I have no dog in the hunt. While I would very much like the economy to be booming, I am not financially dependent upon saying so.  While the measures that Stiglitz and Krugman were pushing were absolutely and utterly wrong – the “extraordinary, sustained and aggressive policies to rebalance the economy” would have only made things worse, as what was needed was a huge round of bankruptcies to clear the zombie debt – they were right to observe that the Neo-Keynesian measures utilized were doomed to be ineffective.

I wish I had been wrong about the Great Depression 2.0. But I wasn’t. And, as even Nate will likely admit now, I was also right about the global economy falling into worldwide deflation.

Unfortunately, this tends to indicate that I am likely correct about the world rapidly heading towards large-scale 4GW, including multiple civil wars, across more than one continent.


Kristallnacht Zwei

I think we all know what comes next. The Germans are beginning to fight back against the invaders of their country:

Hundreds of anti-refugee rioters have gone on the rampage in the German city of Leipzig after a demonstration where they called for asylum seekers to be deported and their nation’s borders closed.

The attacks come just hours after Chancellor Angela Merkel admitted that Europe had lost control of the crisis. The right-wingers broke away from a largely peaceful march in the eastern city to trash the suburb of Connewitz.

Doner kebab fast food stalls were destroyed, cars set ablaze and shop windows smashed by around 250 hooligans of LEGIDA – the local branch of PEGIDA, the anti-migrant, anti-EU organization which marched against the refugees earlier in the evening.At one point the demonstrators, who threw fireworks at police, attempted to build a barricade in a main street with signs and torn up paving stones before they were dispersed.

Firemen had to tackle a blaze in the attic of one building set alight by a wayward rocket fired by the rioters. A bus carrying leftist pro-asylum demonstrators was also attacked and seriously damaged.

Police said they have identified and arrested 211 of the crowd of right-wing hooligans, many of them with criminal records for violence.

‘This was a serious breach of the peace,’ said a police spokesman, confirming that several police officers were injured in the clashes triggered by simmering anger over the New Year’s Eve mass sex attacks against women in Cologne and several other German cities.

‘Rape Refugees stay away’ was one of the banners carried during the march, the wording above a silhouette of women running from knife-wielding attackers, one of whom resembled a caricature from Aladdin…. German police say the number of criminal complaints filed after the events on New Year’s Eve in Cologne has risen to 516 – 40 per cent relating to allegations of sexual assault.

Germany’s FBI, the Federal Criminal Office, said it had information that the surrounding and sexual molestation of women was a ‘familiar phenomenon in some Arab countries.’ Now it is liaising with police in all 16 states of Germany to formulate a strategy on how to combat it in future on German streets. The minister for North Rhine-Westphalia, the German state where Cologne is located, admitted that people of foreign descent were responsible for virtually all of the violence on New Year’s Eve in the city.

One wonders how many of those 516 criminal orcs were arrested, considering how one was shot dead attacking French police last week.

Revolution is a process. It doesn’t come about overnight, and it is fueled by actions and counteractions alike. The anti-German “authorities”, who are clearly no longer regarded as legitimate by a significant portion of the German people, can arrest as many nationalists as they like. Not only will their actions be regarded as shamefully hypocritical in light of their refusal to arrest the orcs raping and sexually assaulting young German women, but similar tactics didn’t suffice to stop the rise of the National Socialists; you may recall where Hitler wrote the newly legalized Mein Kampf.

They can’t arrest the entire German population, and the minute the “authorities” shed any German blood, they will become the targets of an enraged nation. This was not “a serious breach of the peace”, it was the first real evidence of the crisis of the German state.

This is the inevitable result of multiculturalism and a feckless leadership that refuses to govern in the interests of its people.There are now two, and only two, options remaining: peaceful and democratic nationalism or violent and authoritarian ultra-nationalism.

I pray that the multiculturalists, equalitarians, and anti-nationalists will submit and acquiesce to the former. But I expect them to stubbornly and pridefully resist, and thereby ensure the latter.


They’ve been busy

It’s great to see how David Lambert and Alexandra Hollingshead, among others, have been so totally absorbed with reading all my books over the holidays….

It’s a good thing Goodreads banned the Rabid Puppies group or people might engage in an organized effort to attack authors by lowering their ratings!

This is why we need to establish non-converged cultural institutions and ruthlessly work to keep the SJWs out of them. SJWs will always stack the deck and do their very best to use whatever power they can obtain, be it petty or significant, in the interest of forcing social justice on society. And anyone who challenges their Narrative will not only be attacked, but silenced, and stripped of their ability to defend themselves or respond in kind, to the extent that the SJWs are able to do that.

“Society should treat all equally well who have deserved equally well of it, that is, who have deserved equally well absolutely. This is the highest abstract standard of social and distributive justice; towards which all institutions, and the efforts of all virtuous citizens should be made in the utmost degree to converge.”
 —John Stuart Mill, Utilitarianism, 1861

Fortunately, efforts on several fronts are already underway, and your help will be needed on some of them. We’ll be having the January Brainstorm as soon as I get a time and date from the panelist I’ve selected, and we’ll be discussing the current state of the project I’ve chosen as my top priority as well as the panelist’s upcoming project.

It’s going to be short notice, so be prepared for that.

UPDATE: By the way, note that for all their posturing, SJWs clearly hate it when you call out their reviews for the ideological trash that they are.

I do suspect you’re a fake profile, much like some of the other lice which crawled all over my reviews of Day’s stuff.

Always hit back twice as hard. Remember, they are fragile creatures of little accomplishment; in many cases these attack “reviews” are their only sources of pride.


Code of Merit

Rosarior has made a solid attempt at providing an alternative to the Codes of Conduct that SJWs are successfully using in their attempt to enter and converge many open source software projects. It’s called the Code of Merit.

A meritocratic code of conduct devoid of social politics.

This Code of Merit should not be necessary. The fact that it is necessary means there is something wrong with the solutions the software industry is trying. They should recognize that fact and not insist that their solution is the only solution.

  1.     Software is like nature: it evolves, so the best implementation must prevail.
  2.     You will contribute, you will learn, and mistakes are allowed.
  3.     Mistakes are not final and everybody has a second chance.
  4.     Don’t expect others to do your work or help you with your work forever.
  5.     Harassment as defined by law will not be allowed. Questioning is not harassment. Repeated questioning after an individual has stated their desire for disengagement is harassment.
  6.     Censorship will not be permitted. Seeking to silence an individual voicing constructive opinions will not be allowed. Silencing vitriol is not censorship.
  7.     This is a space for technical prowess; world politics have no place here.
  8.     Everything that makes a person an individual, including but not limited to body, sex, sexual preference, race, language, religion, nationality, or political preferences are irrelevant in the scope of a technical project.
  9.     Everybody is different, so differences will not be mentioned by anyone, even by the individual suffering/experiencing/having/enjoying them. We are all individuals seeking the common goal of improving ourselves and improving our collective project.
  10.     Everybody has the same rights and the same opportunities to seek any challenge they want. The chance to screw up will not be denied to anybody.
  11.     There is no room for ambiguity: if an individual is ambiguous regarding a statement it is up to the individual to provide more context. Ambiguity will be met with questioning; further ambiguity will be met with silence.
  12.     If a discussion arises that cannot be solved in the space of the project, it will be discussed in a separate space. Disruption of the project will not be allowed.
  13.     This Code of Merit does not take precedence over governing law.

It’s a good start, and I certainly support the idea, but I find it both defensive and excessively explanatory. I also find that it leaves a few small cracks that SJWs will, as is their wont, ruthlessly attempt to exploit.

Here is a first pass at a weaponized version that I believe will be more effective in both rooting out and deterring SJW entryists.

OSS Code of Merit

Everyone who joins this project agrees to abide by this meritocratic code in the interest of successfully reaching the objectives of this project.

  1. No objectives beyond the stated objectives of this project are relevant to the project. Social Justice Warriors are not permitted to join this project in any capacity.
  2. Any attempt to suggest, propose, or otherwise advocate for an alternate Code of Conduct or to advance social justice ideals will result in immediate expulsion from the project.
  3. Your value to the project will be solely determined by your direct contributions to the project in the objective form of code, documentation, fundraising, and testing.
  4. No member of the project who has not contributed [a specified amount of code] is permitted to accept any board position, administrative position, or management-related role in the project.
  5. You will do your own work. Any attempt to pass off the work of others as your own will result in immediate expulsion from the project.
  6. Individual characteristics related to body, sex, sexual preference, race, language, religion, and nationality
    are irrelevant and will not be taken into account concerning your value to the project.
  7. If a discussion arises that cannot be solved in the space of the
    project, it will be discussed in a separate space. Disruption of the
    project will not be allowed.
  8. The director of the project is king, emperor, and god of the project. There are no limitations on his ability to make decisions and discipline members of the project. Cross him at risk of expulsion from the project.
  9. All present and future advisory boards will answer to the director of the project. The director can disband any and all boards and committees at will and at his sole discretion.
  10. The director of the project is X. The vice-director is Y. If the director is incapacitated or otherwise unable to perform his duties, Y will assume the director’s role for three months and will appoint a substitute vice-director. If the director is still unable to perform his duties after three months, Y will become the director of the project and the substitute vice-director will become the vice-director.
  11. If you do not approve of the direction or the objectives of the project, then leave the project.

One thing I’ve noticed is that SJWs always attempt to minimize the role of whoever started the project and made it successful, ergo shutting down any possibility of that by protecting the status of the project director and giving him the unrestricted ability to boot any member seeking to effect change should be the first priority of any project that wishes to remain productive and unconverged.


    Mailvox: cold consolation

    This one is for all the Minnesotans:

    Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go
    to Hell.

    The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them “Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?

    Ole replies, “Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesnoowta, da land of
    snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance at varm up a little bit,
    ya know.”

    The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up
    the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from
    Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer.

    The devil is astonished and exclaims, “Everyone down here is in abject
    misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?”

    Sven replies, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather up dere
    at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got at haff a fish fry vhen da veather’s dis
    nice.”

    The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he
    comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have
    been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in
    Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are
    hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable
    to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.

    The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there
    and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are
    jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

    The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand; when I turn up the heat,
    you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is
    wrong with you two?”

    They both look at the devil in surprise and say, “Vell, don’t ya know,
    If hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.”

    It occurs to me that one of the many casualties of the cultural rape of the West is Sven and Ole jokes. Sans a familiarity with Christian culture, there is no joke there.