Mailvox: cold consolation

This one is for all the Minnesotans:

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go
to Hell.

The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them “Doesn’t the heat and smoke bother you?

Ole replies, “Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesnoowta, da land of
snow an ice, an ve’re yust happy fer a chance at varm up a little bit,
ya know.”

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up
the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from
Minnesota , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished and exclaims, “Everyone down here is in abject
misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?”

Sven replies, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t git too much varm veather up dere
at da Falls, so ve’ve yust got at haff a fish fry vhen da veather’s dis
nice.”

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he
comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have
been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in
Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are
hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable
to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there
and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are
jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.

The devil is dumbfounded, “I don’t understand; when I turn up the heat,
you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is
wrong with you two?”

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, “Vell, don’t ya know,
If hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.”

It occurs to me that one of the many casualties of the cultural rape of the West is Sven and Ole jokes. Sans a familiarity with Christian culture, there is no joke there.