Category: Uncategorized

A male hairdresser at Next Wave Designs writes to Mike Adams:

You know, one “myth” that I find to be true is the one that goes something like this: the more some right-wing bigot writes about gay issues, the more likely it is the right-winger is secretly craving sex with men.

Come to think of it, now that I take a good long look at your photo, you do look pretty darn gay to me.

The truth is that every single time a columnist writes anything insufficiently worshipful of the gay community, he is guaranteed to receive several emails accusing him of harboring hatred for gays due to being either secretly or latently homosexual. This is a rather interesting psychosexual admission on the part of these gays to an inherent self-loathing, as a normal individual of healthy self-esteem does not assume antisemites to be Jewish or black-hating white supremacists to be of African descent. The comment with regards to Professor Adams photo is interesting too, since it’s usually the gay community that insists that there is no such thing as a “gay” look and that the mincing, lisping caricature of the hyperfeminized flamer is nothing but a hateful stereotype.

I don’t know Mike Adams. As far as I know, he may spend his every free evening down at the local gay bar wearing a tutu and a leather police cap. But given his profession, I suspect that it’s much more likely that he is a decent man of traditional morals standing up against the constant school-supported antics of the anti-moral, Christian-hating gay activists at his university.

For the Monday column.

1. I’m with the Sports Guy. There is only one LT. The excellent running back from San Diego is named LaDainian, not LT.

2. It’s a bad idea to have your fantasy team depend upon a player from your favorite team… unless you’re a Vikings fan and your QB is Daunte Culpepper.

3. The T.O. Philly experiment appears to be off to a good start. Of course, the Giants are terrible this year, so the key word may be “appears”.

4. Do not bind the mouths of the kine that tread whatever it is that they tread. Give Duce Staley the ball on the one-yard line, Bill Cowher! At least once, for Duce’s sake! Yes, I started Duce. And yes, I’m bitter.

5. I’m still not sure Stephen Jackson will supplant Marshall Faulk this year, but 50 yards in his first game is a good sign. Plus, it drives Chokechain nuts. Man, you draft Jackson and DeShaun Foster in the last two rounds and suddenly everyone is calling you Grim Reaper.

6. Tampa looks bad. So bad. It’s nice to see Mr. Gibbs come back with a win and Clinton Portis is still a stud, but this was more about Tampa stinking it up than Washington beating them. If I was a Redskins fan – hi Mom – I’d be nervous about how close that game was.

7. The best W1 fantasy league moment requires a little explanation. I picked Marcus Robinson as a starting WR, but when he got demoted, Chokechain scooped up Nate Burleson from the free agents pool. He was trying to trade Burleson for Stephen Jackson for the last two weeks, (he has Marshall Faulk), but I refused. Burleson comes out of the game, Robinson goes in, Culpepper to Robinson for 3 yards and a TD. I called Chokechain, who’s got The Ticket and was watching with my brother, his first words were: “Yeah, we had an over/under of three minutes on you calling.” Take the under, baby!

8. What happened to the Ravens defense? And is there anything more fun than shouting “I’m a soldier” every time anyone mentions Kellen Winslow? The White Buffalo is already regretting drafting him.

9. Carson Palmer can definitely play. I no longer fear him ruining Chad Johnson’s numbers.

10. Happiness is trailing the defending league champion by one point, with your top draft pick still to play on Tuesday… oops, spoke too soon. Four TDs from Daunte midway through the third quarter and the game is over. 1-0. You can save the scores for next week, Mr. Green!

Going Postal

Terry Pratchett

Rating: 8.5 of 10

Terry Pratchett may be the most underrated writer of our time. Humor, as any writer knows, is extremely difficult to write, and yet of all the writing genres it may be the least respected. Add to that the fact that Pratchett is considered a writer of fantasy humor, which places him in a disrespected ghetto’s ghetto. To write fantasy and be taken seriously, one must write in a language that is not English and betray no familiarity with Tolkein; this will earn one the more weighty title of fabulist, as Borges and Calvino are known.

And yet Pratchett is a serious writer, a very serious writer. For underneath his light-hearted, pun-filled stories – inevitably described, unfortunately, as “romps” by evil-minded critics – are insightful thought-provoking essays on the crime, government, technology and the nature of man. Incredibly, he is able to engage the reader in these essays without sacrificing the story or overly stretching the magical, medievalesque environment in which the Discworld novels are set.

His feat in writing yet another excellent Discworld novel is particularly impressive since this is approximately the 30th in the series. As is very unlike the case of most writers with extended series, Pratchett’s books have tended to get better as the series has progressed. This may be, in part, because the books stand very well alone, as does Going Postal

Story: 4 of 5. Going Postal is, on one level, a tale of redemption that comes to an unwilling con man, who begins the novel with being hanged and finds things going swiftly downhill from there. On another level, however, it is an angry and contemptuous dismissal of another sort of con man, the sort who brought us the dot com boom-and-bust and a righteous screed against the pirates of finance, who rape and pillage entrepeneurs, workers and customers alike with what Pratchett clearly considers to be a different kind of black magic. You might not think, based on this description, that the story could possibly work; you would also be completely wrong.

Style: 3.5 of 5. The author’s inability to resist a pun can occasionally grow a bit old, until he comes up with one that is so wickedly clever that it requires reading twice to get and three times to fully appreciate. He also has an ability to give his characters their own, individual voices and can accurately lampoon other writers’ styles when he wishes to insert the blade more deeply; I particularly like Lord Vetinari’s dry, literal and often lethal wit.

Characters: 5 of 5. Terry Pratchett is one of the better creators of characters writing in fantasy today. In a few short paragraphs, he can create a unique character who stands out completely from the vast cast who already inhabit the crowded and filthy environs of Ankh-Morpork. In Going Postal, the polar antagonists are two very differnet con men, the unfortunate Moist von Lipvig and his adversary, Reacher Gilt. His names, as one can see, sometimes lamentably appear to have been borrowed from the Isaac Asimov School of Ridiculous names; they are the only way in which his character sketches fall short.

Creativity: 4.5 of 5. It’s quite clever how Pratchett works in an Internet stand-in that incorporates the revolution in communications, venture finance and even hackers without violating the spirit of his technologically backward world. His use of secret societies for humorous effect is also creative, albeit in more obvious Discworldian fashion. Despite the fact that one knows anything can happen on a flat world resting upon the backs of four elephants standing on the shell of one enormous turtle, one finds it nearily impossible to predict what Pratchett will come up with next.

Text Sample:

“Yes,” said the golem. “The Messages Must Be Delivered. That Is Written On My Chem.”

“That’s the scroll in their heads that gives a golem his instructions,” said Miss Dearheart. “In Anghammarad’s case, it’s a clay tablet. They didn’t have paper in those days.”

“You really used to deliver messages for kings?” said Groat.

“Many Kings,” said Anghammarad. Many Empires. Many Gods. Many Gods. All Gone. All Things Go,” the golem’s voice got deeper, as if he was quoting from memory. “Neither Deluge Nor Ice Storm Nor The Black Silence Of The Netherhells Shall Stay These Messengers About Their Sacred Business. Do Not Ask Us About Saber-Toothed Tigers, Tar Pits, Big Green Things With Teeth, Or The Goddess Czol.”

“You had big green things with teeth back then?” said Tropes.

“Bigger. Greener. More Teeth,” rumbled Anghammarad.

“And the Goddess Czol?” said Moist.

“Do Not Ask.”

There was a thoughtful silence. Moist knew how to break it. “And you will decide if he is a postman?” he said softly….

By general agreement, Anghammarad was given the unique rank of Extremely Senior Postman.

UPDATE – Apparently a momentary spike in my superintelligence has caused more warps in the space-time continuum, as I am informed that Going Postal isn’t out until September 28th. So, there’s probably not much point in rushing out to Barnes & Noble tomorrow, although if this review happened to stimulate your interest in reading Pratchett, there are another 29 books to keep you occupied in the meantime for the next two weeks.

This doesn’t have anything directly to do with sabotage and the internment question, but the dichotomy between what some emailers have said and the production figures got me curious about something. The common wisdom had it that the USA’s military equipment, particularly the planes, were inferior going into WWII. I had always assumed that was correct, but the fact that in 1940 we suddenly jacked up our production makes me wonder… what planes were being produced in 1940 and 1941?

Consider the P-51 Mustang, which many aviation authorities consider “to be the best American air superiority fighter of the Second World War.” And when was it first produced? North American Aviation began designing and building it in 1940.

“By November 1941, the first of over 600 aircraft produced under British contract were delivered to the RAF.”

In other words, we already had our best fighter coming off production lines before Pearl Harbor. It seems pretty clear that even though we still had older aircraft on our carriers and at our bases in the Pacific, it had to be known that all the good stuff was coming online, and coming online quickly, at a pace of 1600/month in 1941 increasing to almost 4,000/month in 1942. It’s also clear that as far as the strategists were concerned, the Pacific war was basically a sideshow. Consider the following statement from a survey on the United States Strategic Bombing Survey:

“United States aircraft production and pilot training exceeded the Japanese totals by wide margins, but only a portion of this strength could be deployed to the Pacific. United States first line strength in the Pacific west of Pearl Harbor increased from some 200 planes in 1941 to 11,000 planes in August 1945.”

The same report also showed that the US lost 8,500 planes in combat in the Pacific War. What is odd about those numbers? The fact that the US produced 301,500 planes over the course of the war, 25,500 before January 1942. Now, obviously this doesn’t account for second-line strength (I have no idea what first-line means in this context), but it seems strange to insist that the nation is facing a dire national emergency while simultaneously bringing less than one percent of your air strength to bear.

I’d like to find out how many of those 25,300 new planes which aren’t accounted for were sitting in Pearl Harbor or on the West Coast. It seems obvious that the key word is “west of Pearl Harbor”, since it would have been risky trying to get the planes there while the IJN was still dangerous. But then, if they had 10,000 planes already sitting unused on the West Coast, it’s hard to argue that sabotage was a real concern. As Malkin reports that one-quarter of our aircraft production was on the West Coast, that would indicate that barring any decision to ship those planes elsewhere, around 7,375 new planes were available for the defense of the West Coast prior to February 1942, more than 10x the IJN’s 717-plane carrier transport capacity prior to its losses at Midway.

I’m actually quite sympathetic to the Gargler’s anti-voting philosophy. It is a withdrawal of your consent from the system and a refusal to participate in your own destruction. I also largely agree with him that it is, at the very least, extremely unusual for a government to voluntarily give up power; even in the case of the British Empire, at least a nominal amount of force was usually required to convince the Imperialists to go home.

The primary reason that I support third-party voting is that it accomplishes much the same negative function, but does so more visibly. I don’t expect the Libertarians or the Constitutionals to win, but their growing support makes the sickness of the system more obvious to all, whereas lower voting percentages are simply dismissed as stupid and uninterested youth or something equally irrelevant. It is harder for the casual observer to ignore a 5 percent increase in third party support than a 5 percent decline in the overall vote – which most people would never notice anyhow.

The very fact that both Democrats and Republicans get more disturbed by someone supporting a third party candidate than someone announcing that they’ll stay home is testament to this. But does it greatly matter either way? No. Far better to stay home and withhold one’s consent than to support either of the bi-factional ruling party’s candidates.

As I mentioned earlier today, I banned Palooka for ignoring my warning, refusing to argue specifics, and finally, declaring that I was arguing dishonestly. A few minutes ago, an anonymous poster posted the following:

I don’t understand. You banned him becuase you didn’t want to deal with his arguments?

and

It seems to me you have conceded a crucial point of his–that the possibility of sabotage and espionage were relevant. If they were relevant, as you now claim, then why do you claim the case for internment is totally baseless and absurd? It seems to me you banned this Palooka character because he blew your argument to bits.

Palooka IP: 4.240.60.xx

Anonymous IP: 4.240.60.xxx

That’s just sad.

All this past week John F. Kerry has been touring the hinterlands, pounding on his new campaign slogan: “George W. Bush: the W stands for Wrong!” And then, a few seconds ago, it suddenly hit me:

“John F. Kerry: the F stands for Forgery!”

Oh, I feel a big-time backlash a-comin’ on strong.

(After all, CNN, ABC, NBC, and the Washington Post all have their phoneybaloney illusions of objectivity to protect, and if they can do that *and* stick it to CBS in the process…)

John Forgery Kerry. Yes, Volk, there it is, courtesy of the Original Cyberpunk.

From the Washington Times:

The nation’s border czar yesterday said it is “not realistic” to think that law-enforcement authorities can arrest or deport the millions of illegal aliens now in the United States and does not think the American public has the “will … to uproot” those aliens. Homeland Security Undersecretary Asa Hutchinson also said taxpayers “might be afraid” to learn how much it would take in manpower and resources to control the nation’s borders and described as “probably accurate” a statement that no law-enforcement officials are looking for the vast majority of the 8 million to 12 million illegal aliens thought to be in the country.

Of course, if there’s a big enough scare, I imagine that missing will will suddenly be hard to ignore. I’m beginning to get a definite impression of “here we go again” from the increased interest with regards to the related matters of national ID cards, internment, deportation and increased terror strikes around the world. I’m simply hoping that Constitutional deportation will be favored over totalitarian internments.

Hutchinson’s statements do, however, appear to fortuitously pull the rug out from under the We Are At War crowd. If you can’t even bother to pay attention to 8 to 12 million aliens running around inside your borders, how serious can it possibly be? Or, alternatively, how massively incompetent is the Commander-in-Chief?

Astro studiously inquires:

What’s the best way for an adult to work on learning other languages on their own time?

Have a torrid affair with a very attractive member of the opposite sex who is a native speaker of that language. Maybe you’ll pick it up, maybe you won’t, but it’s pretty much a win-win situation regardless.

Granted, learning Latin this way is tough and will probably get you arrested, as the authorities take a dim view of extreme intergenerational love, especially when shovels are involved, but the true devotee of continuing intellectual development will not let such petty difficulties get in his way.