Tag: sports

103 MS Swamp Spartans (2-0-0)
70 GroverBeach Quixotes (0-2-0)

73 RR Redbeards (2-0-0)
52 Moundsview Meerkats (1-1-0)

80 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-1-0)
62 Macau Marauders (1-1-0)

104 Cranberry Rhyneauxs (1-1-0)
69 Bane Sidhe (1-1-0)

92 Bailout Banksters (0-1-1)
92 Green Reverends (0-1-1)

Thanks to the combined efforts of Arian Foster, Mike Williams and LeGarrette Blounte, the Meerkats somehow managed to lose again to their bete rouge, the Redbeards. It was particularly bad when Williams had a TD taken off the board thanks to an illegal shift penalty, since I couldn’t even take solace in what should have been a Vikings victory.

How is it possible that the special teams coach doesn’t tell his kick returners to take a knee when it’s a three-point game and there are only six minutes left? Sure, a decent return would be helpful. But even more helpful would be NOT STARTING ON THE NINE-YARD LINE!

This is your weekly open NFL thread. After listening to Kurt Warner opine on the NFL Network, I am convinced that there is still some hope for Donovan McNabb, his proclivity for throwing at the receivers’ shins notwithstanding. I am concerned, however, that the real problem may be the offensive coordinator. Warner said that after reviewing every single passing play, he concluded that there were only three (3!) called passing plays of more than 10 yards. One game in, the 2011 Vikings offense is making Childress’s infamous Kick Ass offense look like 1998’s Three Deep.

I also thought it was interesting that part of Cam Newton’s historic performance was credited to the brief window in the lockout when coaches were permitted to contact players. Apparently, Carolina got him a playbook and Newton used the summer to get the terminology and a large percentage of the plays down. This tends to bode very well for Newton and indicates that he is no Michael Vick/Aaron Brooks who is content to skate on talent, but is rather more in the vein of a Tavaris Jackson, albeit considerably more talent.

Don’t get me wrong, Seattle fans, the Experiment will never be more than NFL backup material. But he is a good guy who works extremely hard. If Newton combines Jackson’s work ethic with Vick’s talent, he could become the first genuine elite running quarterback since Daunte Culpepper’s glory days.

74 Moundsview Meerkats (1-0-0)
62 Greenfield Grizzlies (0-1-0)

82 RR Redbeards (1-0-0)
54 GroverBeach Quixotes (0-1-0)

76 MS Swamp Spartans (1-0-0)
69 Cranberry Rhyneauxs (0-1-0)

71 Bane Sidhe (1-0-0)
68 Green Reverends (0-1-0)

57 Macau Marauders (1-0-0)
55 Bailout Banksters (0-1-0)

Not a bad start for the Meerkats, beating their archrivals in the first game despite missing Arian Foster, sitting Reggie Wayne, and watching Michael Turner and the entire ATL offense fail to show up. However, I’m not sure I like the odds of counting on Aaron Rodgers and the Eagles defense to carry the entire load all season.

Nevertheless, this is happy news for the Purple.

The Minnesota Vikings have reached agreement on a new contract with Adrian Peterson that could keep the running back in Minnesota for the rest of his career. Peterson is signing a seven-year, $100 million deal with $36 million guaranteed, a league source tells PFT’s Mike Florio. The contract means there’s a good chance that the 26-year-old Peterson will retire a Viking.

You can make the case that Chris Johnson is the best back in the NFL now. You may even be able to make the case that someone else, like Kansas City’s Charles or Houston’s Foster, is the best by the end of the season. But if you don’t love AD, the effort he gives, and his professional attitude towards his job, you simply are not a football fan. He’s been exciting to watch ever since he bobbled that first screen pass against Atlanta and still took it the distance.

In tangentially related news, I am trying to decide between starting Arian Foster and Beanie Wells. Foster is the obvious start… if he’s going to play. But will he play? The Meerkats got off to a fast, but painful start, with Aaron Rodgers throwing for 321 and 3, but losing Colston to injury.

UPDATE – Ouch. Foster is out. Manning won’t be throwing to Wayne. This is looking alarmingly like last year’s one man team.

This is, of course, your week one open NFL post.

Libertarians hunt humans

It’s true, we do, at least those of us who can afford it. But in our defense, the most dangerous game does make for excellent blood sport. There’s nothing like tracking down a frightened, naked liberal you’ve given a twelve hour start, following the crimson trail left by her bleeding feet, then luring her from her hiding place with a soft call of “universal health care”. The look on her face through the scope is always hilarious; sometimes it’s even hard to make the kill shot because you’re shaking too hard with laughter.

Libertarians also drink expensive wine out of human skulls. In fact, that’s what inspired Byron to write “Lines Inscribed Upon A Cup Formed From A Skull”, only the real lines were quotes from Mises, Hayek, and Rothbard.

The VPFL Draft begins in about 5 hours and fifteen minutes. Everyone has their keepers in, which are as follows:

Reverends – none, none, none
Meerkats – Arian Foster, Aaron Rodgers, Michael Turner
Banksters – Jamaal Charles, Larry Fitzgerald, Roddy White
Marauders – Philip Rivers, none, none
Redbeards – Chris Johnson, Tom Brady, none
Quixotes – Rashard Mendenhall, Vincent Jackson, none
Rhyneaux – Ray Rice, Drew Brees, Peyton Hillis
Grizzlies – LeSean McCoy, Greg Jennings, Dwayne Bowe
Sidhe – Adrian Peterson, Calvin Johnson
Swamp Spartans – Andre Johnson, MJD, Tony Romo

This is the draft order for the first round and all subsequent odd rounds. The order is reversed for even rounds, in which the Swamp Spartans pick first and the Reverends last.

UPDATE – That’s right, I went there. I drafted THE TARVARIS JACKSON EXPERIMENT to back up Aaron Rodgers. Because THIS IS HIS YEAR!

I wish I’d done a little more research before picking Crabtree over Edwards, though.

HUTSONDC: Bane Sidhe 10-4-0
BISCH: Valders Quixotes 9-5-0
STILICHO: Blackmouth Banksters 7-7-0
ATOWN: Meigs Marauders 5-9-0
ZEK: Judean Rhyneauxs 7-7-0
TOZ: Winston Reverends 4-10-0

Send me an email so that I can send you an invite to the league along with your roster from last year. I must receive it by 12 NOON FRIDAY or your place will be given away. The draft is SATURDAY AUGUST 27. You can keep up to three of your players on the roster, but you don’t have to keep any. You must send me your keepers by midnight Friday.

I recommend that you only change the first part of the team name for continuity reasons, except the Bane team should retain Bane for obvious reasons.

If you want to join the White Buffalo, Nate, defending champion Clay, and me in the upcoming VPFL season, let me know now….

Q: Randy Moss’ retirement made me wonder about the five player-specific NFL career highlight films that would be worth buying. My personal list would be Barry Sanders, Deion Sanders, Moss, Brett Favre and Ronnie Lott. There are players with better career numbers, but for “did you see what he just did” moments, these guys have to be at the top of the list.
— Eric, Ann Arbor

SG: I like this idea — seems like a natural for iTunes. (My five would be Moss, Barry Sanders, Gale Sayers, O.J. Simpson and Earl Campbell.)

Mine would be: Fran Tarkenton, Randy Moss, Barry Sanders, Reggie White, and Sammy Baugh.

Tarkenton for the ridiculously long scrambles, Moss for the deep routes, Sanders for the impossible escapes, White for the sacks, and Baugh just to see the all-around QB/DB/punter performance.

I still remember Reggie White playing against the Vikings. They called an ill-advised roll-out that called for Cris Carter to go in motion, then stay in and block the free defensive end, who happened to be White. White didn’t bite on the line feint, but stayed home, then literally threw Carter five yards into Warren Moon with one hand. He was dragging Moon down when the whistle blew and “in the grasp” was called. I was at that game with seats on the 20-yard line, the play was right in front of us, and it was the one of the most physically dominating defensive plays I’ve ever seen in the NFL; keep in mind that Carter was neither a small wide receiver nor a bad blocker. Even the most hard-core Vikings fans roared after that play.

It’s fascinating how one’s memory remembers things incorrectly. Until I found the clip, I would have sworn that White a) beat an initial blocker and b) actually knocked Moon down with Carter.