You Thought Disney Killed Star Wars

At this point, Devil Mouse executives are going to find themselves facing criminal charges in Florida under Title XLVI, Chapter 872, Section 6. They’re not content with destroying the canon, degrading the characters, and demolishing any modicum of competent storytelling, they’ve now Marion Zimmer Bradleed the Force itself:

This episode was comically bad. It functions as Star Wars answer to the Timeless Child in that it is a major canonical retcon. And given that this is Disney, the retcon will remain in place as part of the lore until Disney collapses and the IPs are auctioned off. Once again because: No. One. At. Disney. Can. Admit. To. Making. A. Mistake.

The episode opens on the Planet of the Space Lesbian Witches. How do I know they are witches because they explicitly state they are witches. The protagonist and antagonist are introduced as a set of young identical twins (girls naturally because there are no men at all on this idyllic world). The Space Lesbians have secret knowledge of the Force. The Force is actually, quite literally, female. The twins have two mothers, one who was their birth mother and the one that knocked her up using the Force. I should point out that the birth mother is from Darth Maul’s race but the twins look like black humans. Indicating their birth mother had no genetic input.

There is a lecture held on the womanly power of the Force. It’s not a “force” at all as that is far too masculine of a concept, it is in fact a thread that sews the cosmos together and it can be tugged upon to accomplish certain… This is all Wicca stuff, if you’ve ever become acquainted with that neopagan Marxist bullshit of a “religion” you’ll recognize the concepts pretty quickly. Space Lesbian Witches are the true and uncorrupted Force users.

There is a constant motif throughout this episode. “The power of one. The power of two. The power of many.”

The corporate cancer of convergence is considerably worse than you ever imagine it’s going to be. It’s reliably worse than you are even capable of imagining. And there is no way back from it, ever.