Disney Adopts Zero History

Once a premier curator of American history, the skinsuit of the company founded by Walt Disney has opted for historical oblivion and the destruction of its own artifacts:

Walt had a vision of himself as one of the Big Americans, that his name would be remembered with men like Ford and Edison. Whether he genuinely felt an accurate record of his life and work would reflect well on him or he knew he was going to be in the history books anyway so he would be well served by writing the history book himself, he is one of the very few businessmen to start a museum dedicated to curating his life, his work and the company he built up from nothing.

So was born the Walt Disney Company Archive. Or simply The Archive. Just about every major or even minor thing the Walt Disney Company ever was a part of was dutifully curated. Decommissioned park attractions that were being dismantled would have disused animatronics packed away and sent to the archive. Every single addition and more importantly subtraction to the parks was carefully noted at the Archive. Artwork from all of the Disney animated features were meticulously cataloged and preserved at the Archive.

The Archive also operates public museums where you can gawk at such diverse things as Disneyland opening day curios, doodads, and tourist gimcrack. Want to see the real Pirates Redhead? She now lives at the archive. Original scripts, props from the Davey Crockett show. Various denizens of Tomorrowland’s obsolete future past are on display at The Archive.

You know what you won’t find at the Archive? Not one fucking thing connected with Splash Mountain. The most popular ride in the history of Disney parks and not one trace of it was curated.

The preservation of historical knowledge is one of the most sacred and important things that can be accomplished even by the irreligious. So it should come as no surprise that eradicating history is always among the foremost objectives of the Zero Historians in their permanent campaign against all that is Good, Beautiful, and True.