VPFL Week 8

83 Blackmouth Banksters (6-2-0)
49 Winston Reverends (4-4-0)

54 Valders Quixotes (6-2-0)
43 Judean Rhyneauxs (4-4-0)

82 Meigs Marauders (4-4-0)
61 Bane Sidhe (5-3-0)

63 MS Swamp Spartans (3-4-1)
63 Moundsview Meerkats (1-6-1)

51 RR Redbeards (3-4-1)
51 Greenfield Grizzlies (2-5-1)

It was kiss your sister week in the VPFL. I’m frankly shocked that I managed to avoid losing with Aaron Rogers only contributing 3 points, although as it turns out I could have even won if I hadn’t neglected to start Jacob Tamme for the injured Zach Miller at TE; I picked Tamme up with precisely that intention but somehow managed to forget to actually plug him into the lineup. And it’s good to be a Bankster, as Blackmouth is starting to show signs of separating itself from the pack.


Whom the gods would destroy

Medea had nothing on the Minnesota Vikings. After that ludicrous collapse yesterday, they went and waived Randy Moss! Right, because he was the problem. Interestingly enough, Favre wasn’t the problem last night, the one underthrown ball to Percy Harvin that led to a fantastic interception by the Patriot rookie cornerback notwithstanding.

1. Childress blew another challenge. A week late doesn’t count, Chilly.
2. Going for it on fourth-and-goal was a reasonable call. Trying to run behind Loadholt instead of Hutchinson wasn’t.
3. Apparently we have never heard of “play-action” passes. Especially not when everyone in the stadium knows the ball is going to AD.
4. Asher Allen.
5. And again, Asher Allen. Is there any way Antoine Winfield doesn’t make that tackle on Wes Welker?
6. The Tarvaris Jackson Experiment still cannot play quarterback in the National Football League. I remember that signature, “lift up the ball high as the pocket collapses around you, then somehow manage to hold onto it as you get sacked” play. Nice to see he’s still got it.

Naturally, the solution to all of this was getting rid of the Hall of Fame wide receiver who commanded double and triple-teams all game. Childress has to go and he has to go now. He’s the only coach in the league capable of being outcoached by Mike Singletary. There’s no need for an interim coach, just let Brett Favre do it. It’s not like he could do any worse.

I kind of hope New England signs Moss. It would be a fitting conclusion to the madness.


VPFL Week 7

94 Greenfield Grizzlies(2-5)
74 Moundsview Meerkats (1-6)

84 RR Redbeards (3-4)
66 Winston Reverends (4-3)

92 Blackmouth Banksters (5-2)
78 Judean Rhyneauxs (4-3)

48 Valders Quixotes
44 Meigs Marauders

46 Bane Sidhe
39 MS Swamp Spartans

The Piranha of the Serengeti are looking simply woeful this year. Even when I finally managed to score some points, I got lit up by the nearly-as-woeful Grizzlies; who would have thought the worst two teams in the league would shoot it out. But while I can blame myself for trusting those who said Shonn Greene and Ryan Mathews were going to have big years – my first two draft picks in lieu of keepers – it’s just bad luck that has seen opposing teams score 520 points against me, 170 more than the Bane Sidhe so far. But these things should balance out over the course of the season, so even if I’m already out of the playoff hunt, I can still achieve respectability.

On the NFL front, why does Chilly insist on trying to talk smack with Belichick? Does he not have enough problems on his hands?


Training in action

This is an interesting little clip of four clueless guys attempting to take on a guy who appears to possess a moderate amount of boxing experience. Notice how he keeps moving sideways and backward into open space, only occasionally stepping forward when the opportunity, or in one case, the need, presents itself. The most important thing is that he limits himself to short, quick jabs and crosses; by doing so he avoids committing completely to a strike and thereby leaving himself open. He stays focused on defense throughout and does an excellent job of throwing his opponents down to the ground in order to buy himself more time and clear space whenever he can.

Now, imagine if the guy’s training had incorporated some jujitsu and he’d been throwing some elbows and the occasional low kick of his own instead of only punches… more than the one guy in the white would have been down. Of course, the four guys should have surrounded him from the start, but they had no way of knowing he was a boxer and in the heat of the moment, it’s almost impossible for more than two people to coordinate their actions anyway.

For me, the best moment is when he steps into the white-shirted guy’s second attempt to kick him, catches him off balance on one leg, and puts him down. It reminded me of how one fights a Tae Kwan Do kicker; the minute they plant and start to move their rear leg, step in hard. It’s harder to do than it sounds, because the instinctive reaction is to step back. And Mr. White Shirt is a perfect example of how not to fight. He’s aggressive, but hapless, consistently leading with his face and telegraphing his moves so badly that not a single one of his five attacks even lands, let alone does any harm.

Compare that guy with this man defending his girlfriend. He also shows obvious signs of training, but demonstrates less situational awareness and fighting experience as well as inferior technique. Part of this is because he is taking a more aggressive approach, but he makes the mistake of repeatedly extending himself and twice leaves himself open to an attack by the unengaged opponent, at one point even turning his back on the first guy he attacked. He also leads with his rear hand twice; although he gets away with it here thanks to his opponents’ lack of training, trying that against the first guy would have almost surely met with the rude interruption of a jab to the face.

I was also surprised at his lack of finishing, as I was completely expecting him to kick the first guy in the face when he turned around at the end. But then, the guy had gestured at him, so perhaps he was taught to go to submission rather than incapacitation.


VPFL Week 6

67 Winston Reverends (4-2)
44 Moundsview Meerkats (1-5)

63 Judean Rhyneauxs (4-2)
52 RR Redbeards (2-4)

65 Blackmouth Banksters (4-2)
50 Meigs Marauders (3-3)

69 Valders Quixotes (4-2)
68 Bane Sidhe (4-2)

77 MS Swamp Spartans (3-3)
61 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-5)

This is your weekly NFL discussion thread. I picked up Lance Moore, so naturally Hakeem Nicks is Questionable on the same week that Arian Foster sits. It appears unlikely to be my year… but at least I should be able to beat the woeful Grizzlies, LdT notwithstanding.


New NFL policy

I have absolutely no problem with the idea of the NFL attempting to protect players from serious harm and permanent injury. I remember the outcry when helmet-spearing was banned, but that didn’t harm the sport in the least much less turn it into a girl’s game. And no Vikings fan who remembers Duane Rudd playing linebacker is going to confuse hard hits for good tackling; hitting someone hard and then celebrating the hit as the ball-carrier keeps his feet and runs past you is not what football is all about.

But, as the Vikings’ locker room has noted, there is a tremendous amount of hypocrisy in the league’s current posturing. It is ludicrous to claim that the concerns are primarily driven by player safety when chop-blocks at the knees of offensive linemen are still permitted. (Note that this was the pet cause of noted NFL softie Dr. Z; a rule requiring blockers to face what they hit above the knees was his perfectly reasonable solution.) It’s hard to argue that quarterbacks don’t require some protection when few starters manage to make it through a season anymore, but over the years I’ve noticed that it’s usually the special teams players, not the stars, who wind up with the most serious injuries.


VPFL Week 5

65 Bane Sidhe (4-1)
60 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-4)

75 Judean Rhyneauxs (3-2)
40 Moundsview Meerkats (1-4)

59 RR Redbeards (2-3)
64 Meigs Marauders (3-2)

93 Blackmouth Banksters (3-2)
31 Valders Quixotes (3-2)

44 Winston Reverends (3-2)
83 MS Swamp Spartans (2-3)

As always, this is your weekly NFL discussion thread. I’m still not that worried about the Vikings. I had expected them to be 2-2 at this point; they’ve been in every game and if it weren’t for a failed fourth-and-goal, they’d be exactly where they should be at this point in the season. The Bears are a mirage and it’s the Packers actually who look a lot worse than they were supposed to be this season.

Favre’s elbow, the offensive line, and the injuries in the secondary are concerns, of course, (yes, Nate, Farve’s injury is an issue but the arm isn’t “shot”), but as Favre and Moss get integrated with the offense, I expect them to go on a roll. And then everyone who is writing them off now will get more excited than the win streak justifies and start proclaiming them Super Bowl champs. I think they’ll take the NFC North and after that, who knows? Certainly no one appears to be staking a serious claim to NFC dominance yet.


VPFL Week 4

96 Valders Quixotes (3-1)
47 RR Redbeards (2-2)

79 Moundsview Meerkats (1-3)
51 Meigs Marauders (2-2)

74 Bane Sidhe (3-1)
34 Blackmouth Banksters (2-2)

61 MS Swamp Spartans (1-3)
46 Judean Rhyneauxs (2-2)

68 Winston Reverends (3-1)
43 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-3)

After four weeks, there is no obvious dominant team, but at least the Meerkats and Swamp Spartans have broken their duck. But all of this pales beside the burning issue sweeping the NFL this week: what does Brett Favre look like with his pants on the ground?


Welcome home, Randy!

I was most pleased to learn about the trade between the Patriots and the Vikings yesterday. Moss is still an elite receiver and the Vikings should never have traded him. Had they kept him and pursued Drew Brees, as I had wanted, I think they would have had more success over the last five years.

This bodes very well for the latter half of the season; between Moss, Rice, Harvin, and Peterson, the Vikings have assembled a fearsome collection of offensive talent to match their excellent defense. It should be enough to keep our resident divaquarterback both interested and happy; everyone has forgotten that the Vikings didn’t begin particularly well in 2009 either despite starting off 3-0. The defending Super Bowl champion Saints and the Miami Dolphins are considerably more difficult than the Cleveland Browns and the Detroit Lions and both games were quite close.

And the magical moment that set the stage for the 2009 season, the Favre touchdown to Lewis with no time remaining in the third game, was only necessary because the Vikings were trailing a mediocre San Francisco team. So, if I wasn’t feeling that the Vikes were going to walk away with the Super Bowl – as if any true Vikings fan would EVER think that for a second – I wasn’t the least bit worried about their 0-2 start either.

Adding one of the great receivers of all time and a huge fan favorite isn’t going to hurt either. Aside from what it means for the team’s chances, I’m just glad to have Randy back where he belongs. He never should have left.


VPFL Week 3

84 Bane Sidhe (2-1)
57 Winston Reverends (2-1)

82 RR Redbeards (2-1)
63 Blackmouth Banksters (2-1)

76 Valders Quixotes (2-1)
73 Moundsview Meerkats (0-3)

68 Meigs Marauders (2-1)
54 MS Swamp Spartans (0-3)

57 Judean Rhyneaux (2-1)
55 Greenfield Grizzlies (1-2)

My two much ballyhooed young starting RBs, Shon Greene and Ryan Matthews, have cost me at least two games already. Here’s hoping that Pete Carroll has the brains to start handing the ball to the electric Leon Washington.