Tag: sports

Dogs are not people

Tucker Carlson goes flying wildly off the rails:

“I’m a Christian, I’ve made mistakes myself, I believe fervently in second chances,” Carlson said. “But Michael Vick killed dogs, and he did in a heartless and cruel way. And I think, personally, he should’ve been executed for that. He wasn’t, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs?”

Killing dogs is not called “homicide” for a reason. It’s not murder anymore than killing a cow for its beef is murder. Now, I love dogs considerably more than most people do – Spacebunny laughs at how I carry the Viszla puppy around the house with me and he watched the entire Vikings game on my lap – but I didn’t even think Vick merited the legal punishment he received.

(That being said, Vick probably needed the slap to the head that the bankruptcy and jail sentence provided him.)

Now, I would no sooner want to be around a person who mistreats a dog than one who is prone to defecating in public. But if Vick deserves execution for killing his own dogs, then the people at the Humane Society are clearly worse than the Nazis and Soviets combined. And should the police investigate every suspicious canine death? Tucker clearly needs to take control his emotions on the subject; he is normally sharper than this.

VPFL Championship Game

It’s the Swamp Spartans vs the regular season champion Sidhe. The winner claims the championship and a place in the league next year. The first round games:

70 MS Swamp Spartans
68 Valders Quixotes

61 Bane Sidhe
52 Greenfield Grizzlies

VPFL Week 14

81 Bane Sidhe (10-4-0)
36 Greenfield Grizzlies (7-6-1)

83 Valders Quixotes (9-5-0)
26 Blackmouth Banksters (7-7-0)

89 MS Swamp Spartans (8-5-1)
52 Winston Reverends (4-10-0)

63 Judean Rhyneauxs (7-7-0)
50 Moundsview Meerkats (4-9-1)

89 RR Redbeards (7-6-1)
56 Meigs Marauders (5-9-0)

The regular season came to a close with Bane claiming the top seed and Greenfield edging out the Redbeards for the last playoff spot. That sets up a second straight Bane-Greenfield game in two weeks while the Quixotes and Swamp Spartans face off in the other playoff games. The Redbeards’ Tom Brady was the MVP, scoring 232 points to lead the league.

VPFL Week 13

77 Moundsview Meerkats (4-8-1)
42 Meigs Marauders (5-8-0)

81 Bane Sidhe (9-4-0)
52 Blackmouth Banksters (7-6-0)

73 MS Swamp Spartans (7-5-1)
63 Judean Rhyneauxs (6-7-0)

65 Greenfield Grizzlies (7-5-1)
55 Winston Reverends (4-9-0)

52 RR Redbeards (6-6-1)
36 Valders Quixotes (8-5-0)

So close! I finally made it to the top of the league in scoring with 896 points to the Grizzlies 890 last week, but the Grizz beat Winston to drop them to 4-9-0 and prevent me from scoring the rare top in scoring, bottom in the standings bifecta by half a game. But Greenfield has been on a historic tear, going from last in the league to a playoff spot with a timely five-game winning streak. Bane has been on a roll too, but something has to give since they meet this week.

Of the six teams still in contention, I suspect the Swamp Spartans and Redbeards will be on the outside looking in. As for the NFL, it would appear that the football gods were not happy with the idea that Brett Favre might not continue his 297-game starting streak. Frazier had better commit to starting him or this snow may not let up until January. And one suspects this should give lawmakers the excuse they need to screw over the taxpayers and build a new stadium on Mr. Wilf’s behalf; an NFL team can’t be expected to play in a place with a collapsing roof, after all. I fully expect there to be long faces delivering the devastating news of permanent structural damage to the old Hump this week.

I hope they keep the other important lesson in mind as well. The Vikings are meant to play OUTSIDE! When they do build a new stadium, they’d better not put another bloody roof on it.

VPFL Week 12

95 Bane Sidhe (8-4-0)
36 Winston Reverends (4-8-0)

89 Moundsview Meerkats (3-8-1)
32 Valders Quixotes (8-4-0)

75 Greenfield Grizzlies (6-5-1)
72 Judean Rhyneauxs (6-6-0)

49 RR Redbeards (5-6-1)
46 Blackmouth Banksters (7-5-0)

68 MS Swamp Spartans (6-5-1)
43 Meigs Marauders (5-7-0)

The Meerkats may be out of it for the season, but that doesn’t mean they can’t skeletonize a frontrunner. The league-leading Quixotes were shredded like a cow in the Amazon by the Piranha of the Serengeti last week, but the Meerkats remained six points shy of the scoring the rarely seen First in Points, Last in the League award, just behind the suddenly fearsome Grizzlies who have ridden the Sanchize to win four straight and move into playoff position.

Looks like a bang-up finish with six teams battling for four spots.

2018 and 2022

Russia? That makes a degree of sense given the way in which Russian commodity wealth is making itself felt throughout the sports world. And Vladimir Putin is nothing if not a sports enthusiast. But Qatar? It’s not as if I was planning on attending the World Cup no matter where it is, but an Arab country seems like a rather unusual choice of venue given the present difficulties from Afghanistan to Iran.

VPFL Week 11

102 Blackmouth Banksters (7-4-0)
101 Moundsview Meerkats (2-8-1)

86 Valders Quixotes (8-3-0)
79 MS Swamp Spartans (5-5-1)

86 Bane Sidhe (7-4-0)
52 RR Redbeards (4-6-1)

97 Greenfield Grizzlies (5-5-1)
71 Meigs Marauders (5-6-0)

88 Judean Rhyneauxs (6-5-0)
74 Winston Reverends (4-7-0)

This is getting too absurd for words. I just scored more points than anyone else had previously scored all season… and still lost by one thanks to a kicker who scored nothing. But the Grizz are on a tear with a three-game winning streak just in time for a playoff run.

Finally!

Childress is gone:

Jay Glazer of FOX Sports is first reported, and the Vikings have confirmed, that Childress has been fired…. Defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier has been named the interim head coach for the rest of the 2010 season.

I never thought I’d say this, but thank you Green Bay! I have no confidence in Frazier, but I actively disliked Childress from the moment his hiring was announced. I don’t even think Andy Reid is a good head coach – he’s a great quarterbacks coach, to be sure – so hiring someone who worked under Reid and didn’t even call the plays as his offensive coordinator seemed totally inexplicable. The success the Vikings have had was the result of Rick Spielman’s work in bringing in good players; literally anyone could have achieved decent results with the talent he brought in.

One wonders how Wilf made his money, since handing Childress an extension last year when absolutely no one was offering him a job was one of the dumbest business decisions I’ve ever seen. Now he’ll be paying for it. I doubt any of the marquis coaches will have a lot of interest in the job, but I’d take a serious look at Brian Billick. Anyone who can win a Super Bowl with Trent Dilfer at quarterback has something going on and I always liked his pre-game speech before the AFC Championship game against the favored Titans.

“When you go in the lion’s den, you don’t tippy toe in — you carry a spear, you go in screaming like a banshee, you kick whatever doors in, and say, ‘Where’s the son of a bitch?'”

VPFL Week 10

89 RR Redbeards (4-5-1)
61 Moundsview Meerkats (2-7-1)

80 MS Swamp Spartans (5-4-1)
58 Blackmouth Banksters (6-4-0)

81 Greenfield Grizzlies (4-5-1)
69 Valders Quixotes (7-3-0)

71 Bane Sidhe (6-4-0)
57 Judean Rhyneauxs (5-5-0)

69 Meigs Marauders (5-5-0)
66 Winston Reverends (4-6-0)

I honestly thought I had a good chance at that game despite Aaron Rodgers being on the bye. And then Michael Vick scored 46 points! Going into week 11, my kicker has already been outscored by the Blackmouth kicker 13-0. My only goal left is to finish in the top three in points scored while remaining on the bottom of the league standings. In other news, watch out for a raging bear market; the Grizzlies appear to be making their move.

VPFL Week 9

98 Moundsview Meerkats (3-6-1)
54 Bane Sidhe (5-4-0)

89 Judean Rhyneauxs (5-4-0)
76 Meigs Marauders (4-5-0)

84 Greenfield Grizzlies (3-5-1)
44 Blackmouth Banksters (6-3-0)

68 Valders Quixotes (7-2-0)
52 Winston Reverends (4-5-0)

53 MS Swamp Spartans (3-5-1)
42 RR Redbeards (4-4-1)

Sometimes you have a bad season because you just don’t have the horses or you make poor decisions about whom to start. Well, I didn’t have the horses – had only one player worth keeping after some desperate roster shuffling in a futile attempt to win the first-round playoff game last year – and I drafted not one, but two worthless top ten-rated running backs with my second and third pick. Then I left Arian Foster on the bench when he had his huge 29-point day against the Colts. And yet, this has actually been one of my best roster-shuffling jobs I’ve ever done; after that awful draft, I made what have turned out to be some really good pickups and have put up only three less points than the VPFL leaders. And yet somehow, I’m still FOUR AND ONE-HALF GAMES BEHIND with the worst record in the league.