The Mystery Continues

Clown World’s media just can’t seem to solve the incredible conundrum as to why so many young people are having heart attacks after receiving the safe and effective Covid vaxx:

Why ARE so many young people having heart attacks? They had seemingly healthy lifestyles… but all these people suffered heart problems.

‘Between 10 to 20 per cent of my heart attack patients are now under the age of 40,’ says Dr Martin Lowe, a consultant cardiologist at St Bartholomew’s Hospital and The Portland Hospital, both in London. ‘In the US, data shows around one in five heart attack patients is under 40 and we’re catching up in the UK. When I was a junior doctor it was extremely rare to see young people — most patients were smokers in their 50s and 60s.’

Dr Joe Mills, a consultant cardiologist at Liverpool Heart and Chest Hospital, adds: ‘We have really noticed the trend for younger people from mid-20s upwards having heart attacks in the past five years in particular. Now as a cardiologist, you wouldn’t even raise your eyebrows when seeing someone in their late 30s — it’s becoming fairly typical, which is frightening.’

So what’s causing the rise in heart attacks in younger people?

It’s really a true puzzler, a very sticky wicket indeed. I don’t think Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot, Manabu Yukawa, and Jules Maigret combined could figure this one out. In related news, doctors from the World Health Organization are also mystified as to the reason behind the sudden deaths of thousands of children in Gaza over the last three months, but they believe climate change combined with poor dietary habits may be to blame.

“Whatever it is, we can assure you, it’s not the vaxx.”

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