Glowy McGlowerson

Apparently we’re supposed to believe these messages posted to Discord are the virtual “manifesto” of the latest wind-up toy therapized into shooting complete strangers for the purposes of pushing unconstitutional gun control laws.

[11:23 PM] RobertCard: I can’t stand these damn non whites ruining our country. They don’t deserve to live.
[11:25 PM] RobertCard: I’ve had enough of this political correctness bullshit. It’s time to take matters into my own hands.
[11:27 PM] RobertCard: I’ve been trained to kill and I’m damn good at it. These people will pay for what they’ve done to our country.
[11:30 PM] RobertCard: It’s time to make a statement. I’ll show them what a true American is capable of. They won’t know what hit them.
[11:33 PM] RobertCard: I’ve got my guns and plenty of ammo. Let’s make America great again by getting rid of these scum.
[11:37 PM] RobertCard: I won’t stop until every last one of them is gone. This is my duty as an American.
[11:40 PM] RobertCard: They can’t hide from me. I know their patterns, their hangouts. I’ll hunt them down and take them out one by one.
[11:43 PM] RobertCard: The army trained me to be a killer and I’ll use every tactic I learned to make sure these non whites regret ever stepping foot in our country.
[11:47 PM] RobertCard: No one will stop me. I have a mission and I’ll see it through until the end. God bless America.

The Maine Manifesto, Glowy McGlowerson, 25 October 23

Of all the fictional dialogue that was ever written, this may actually be the most obviously fictional. It’s not even AI-level fiction, it’s bad “I’ve read way too many Boomer memes” fiction. The funniest thing is the way that the federal employee who wrote it couldn’t even bring himself to use any of the printable slurs, much less any of the unprintable ones, and instead went with “non whites”. And he used it twice!

Also, if you’re going to try to pass off a mass shooting as the work of a true American white supremacist patriot, you probably shouldn’t choose one where white people are shot. In Maine, of all places.

This is so bad that I think it’s far more likely to be a /pol/ gag mocking the glowies than it is to have been written by anyone who ever shot anybody.