Science bloggers don’t do science

Of course, neither do a lot of scientists:

Now there are thousands of blogs dedicated to science, yet only a few are popular. And strangely the popular ones are only loosely related to science…. If you examine the elephant in the room, ScienceBlogs, the trend is maintained: politics, religion books, technology, education and music are tagged more often than biology or genetics. This suggests that their primary motives are entertainment rather than discussing science.

Actually, I don’t see why the science blogs should be expected to pay any attention to science… it’s not like all that many scientists do either. The biologists are busy drama-queening about stickers on schoolbooks for kids who can’t read or do math when they’re not foolishly declaring war on 4.5 billion theists, the chemists are occupied with hiding the studies that show their shiny new drugs don’t actually do anything, the astrophysicists are writing science fiction about g-strings and multiverses, and a significant percentage of the rest appear to be devoted to the notion that democracy is the only scientific way to examine the global climate while simultaneously advocating the abandonment of democracy in favor of dictatorship by scientist-king. So, I see no reason why Anonymous Coward should see fit to criticize a leading science blogger for devoting his attention to the empirical evidence of Republican evil, the peer-reviewed science of my father’s legal status, and the sophisticated methodological falsifiability of his daughter’s affection for animals when he’s not busy torturing zebrafish or whatever. As Jim Rose so famously said of the man with concrete blocks suspended from his pierced pectorals, “It is science!”

The more I consider the lack of interest that so many so-called scientists demonstrate for actual science in favor of political ideology, the more I’m convinced that science – or at least the method and the knowledge base – would probably be best served by dragging the scientific community outside, shooting the lot, and starting over with nothing but the method. Because at this time, there is no other group of humans on the planet that is doing more to imperil human existence and not very many that are doing more to imperil human liberty.

Just as every philosophy PhD should come with a mandatory cup of hemlock, a science PhD should be accompanied by a Logan’s Run-style hand implant that turns black after 15 years, terminating the implantee. They tend to do all their most useful and significant work in their youth anyhow. Although perhaps the auto-termination should be rethought, since seeing fat bearded men in white coats and glasses being hunted down would probably make for some fairly entertaining television for the bored and desensitized masses.

And now, science fans, you may provide your socially autistic and rhetorically deaf responses for the amusement of the audience.