Wankers of the Week

Duly noted from Down Under:

Britain’s Prince Harry will not be deployed to Iraq after military commanders decided it would be too dangerous, Britain’s Ministry of Defense said on Wednesday. Instead, Prince Harry will continue his tour of duty in British nightclubs.

An anti-U.S. Afghan rebel leader said he had information that Osama bin Laden is alive but keeping a low profile by not issuing statements, according to a video aired on Sunday. He also had information that Osama is missing the spotlight and has reportedly been back in the studio mixing some new audio tapes and working with different producers.

The Taliban said today it had arrested a close aide to the rebel movement’s slain commander Mullah Dadullah for treachery that led to his killing. It is rumoured that they plan to take him out to dinner and discuss the terms of his resignation from the movement.