A few revisions

The Pan-Gargler provides a Dictionary of Progressive Principles:

Affirmative Action: Jobs must always be given to those who cannot perform them.

Multiculturalism: Society works best when its divided into many groups that hate each other.

Diversity: Society functions best when no one is permitted to think or voice prohibited ideas.

Disarmament: The best way for a country to defend itself is to rely upon the good will of its enemies.

Feminism: Societal collapse is a small price to pay for female superiority.

Racism: That which the progressive doesn’t like.

Fascism: That which the progressive doesn’t like or understand.

Sexism: That which makes the female progressive feel bad.

Capitalism: The indirect institution of socialism through big, regulated corporations instead of agencies of the government. This is actually corporatism, but if we called it that, someone might notice.