Mailvox: the individual is not the gender

Vegetius hates women, with reason:

So question for all ? how do you avoid becoming a woman hater when your ex wife……..
embezzeled thousands from her job.. not once but twice… left me and the kids hanging once before and caused me to have to relocate 2000 miles away cause everyone in town knew about it….front page of the newspaper and all.

Family no longer talks to me…. once again I find myself self employed holding my own raising two teens.. they finally put her ass in prison !!!

she was so hateful, grew to be 300 pounds plus… sex ?? yeah right. shopped till she dropped that is when she wasn’t sitting in front of the tv watching that god forsakken “sex and the city”

My first reaction is to wonder how to rectify the name with the grammar… but I suppose that’s beside the point. The answer to his question is that to blame all women for the fact that you are such a poor judge of women that you picked an impressively bad one is simply illogical. There is no more justification for this than there is for the man-haters who hate all men because their male gym teacher gave them personal sex education in sixth-grade.

Most women aren’t hateful. Most women aren’t embezzlers. Most women aren’t sociopaths, and the mere fact of your long-term proximity to one shouldn’t blind you to the fact that they’re not.

I have reached the conclusion that many men and women are simply incapable of successfully selecting their mates for the long term. They forget that their friends know them very well, that people tend to conform to certain archetypes, and that it is not necessary to be exchanging bodily fluids to quickly get a handle on what lies beneath the surface of a person in whom their friend is interested, while placing far too much trust in their own ability to ignore their hormones and seriously consider the other individual.

I would not have considered marrying Spacebunny had not men and women who knew me well and whose opinions I trusted been extremely supportive of my doing so. They knew me very well, they had become reasonably well acquainted with her and spent a considerable amount of time around the two of us while we were dating. In fact, several people commented how closely her personality resembled that of my two best male friends; their personalities tend to compliment mine rather than resemble it.

The opinion of my female friends was particularly important to me, as it is always easier to spot the hidden flaws in a member of your sex than in an attractive member of the opposite one. In fact, as a result of the varying success of various marriages I have seen, I am beginning to think that no one should continue dating, let alone marry, anyone that one’s best two male and two female friends do not approve of.

Now, here’s a question that should prove informative. Of the divorced men and women here, how many were seriously warned not to marry their ex-husband or ex-wife by someone close to them?