Mailvox: Lies about lakes

Porcus is dubious:

Is that number inflated by the department of tourism, or is “Land of 10,000 Lakes” just a way to conjure up warm summertime visions of fishing in the ‘ol swimming hole? I suspect false advertising.

You have it backwards, my meaty friend. There are actually more than 12,000, but they try to keep the number low because Minnesotans know that a “lake” is actually nothing more than a mosquito breeding ground.

Space Bunny and I both had chills of stark terror shooting up our spine when we went down to spend some time in north Florida and saw these pools of standing water alongside the highways. Fortunately, it turned out that the Florida mosquitoes are either a lesser breed or are a bunch of lazy, insectoid retirees. Combine those larval breeding pools with the vampires that inhabit the North Woods and you’d be finding the emptied shells of children, even teenagers, scattered everywhere.