Jimmy Kimmel wangles a one-shot on ESPN for the cause:
And so another year passes without Steve Garvey making the Hall of Fame. All I know is that his name belongs in Cooperstown some day. And, by God, if I have to break into the place and spray paint it on the wall, I will.
There are few things I admire as much as ferocious passion and loyalty dedicated to something as ephemeral as professional sports. To this day, I loathe Jim Zorn and the Seattle Seahawks because he broke Fran Tarkenton’s rookie passing records. It doesn’t make any sense, I just do. I still feel a chill run down my spine whenever I see a clip from an old NFL game played in the snow and I remember my first games at the old Met. (TEAR DOWN THE DOME ALREADY, A MINNESOTA TEAM SHOULD PLAY OUTSIDE!!!!!) And just seeing a ref in zebra stripes gives me the primal urge from some deep, dark place within me to throw a bottle at him.
The best thing is that you just KNOW that Kimmel didn’t have to look up a single statistic to write this paeon to Steve Garvey, one that he appears to have unleashed in a single breathless rant that he could practically deliver in his sleep. I don’t care about baseball and I wouldn’t recognize Steve Garvey if you put his poster on my wall, but I kind of hope he makes it one day, just for the sake of fans like Jimmy Kimmel.
In other Sports Guy-related news, it doesn’t get any bigger than this. DOUG AND JACKIE CHRISTIE HAVE A REALITY TV SHOW IN THE WORKS! This promises to be an epic disaster of grand tsunami proportions. The Christies are the legendary relationship that spawned the jersey that has now become synonymous for being pussy-whipped to perfection. Just to give you one example, they get remarried every year on their anniversary, complete with dress, wedding cake and guests. They make Dennis Rodman look downright sane.