Notional dichotomies

I picked up a copy of a neighbor’s US magazine today and was bemused to notice the dichotomy between what 100 men and 100 women considered sexy or silly on women. According to women, the three sexiest trends of the nine polled were:

1. Newsboy caps (84%)

2. Capelets (78%)

3. Huge Sunglasses (70%)

I had to read it twice for the numbers to register on my incredulous mind. These three items easily beat out the Plunging Necklines thought sexy by 93 percent of men, the Long Hair Extensions favored by 85 percent and the Slip Dresses given the thumbs up by 62 percent. Women, meanwhile, regarded those three as silly, by 54, 82 and 54 percent respectively.

This poll, I think, confirms the Sports Guy’s theory of the complete disconnect of the average American woman’s idea of what appeals to men from actual male preferences. (A few years back, the Sports Gal, now the Sports Wife, was trying to argue that Andie MacDowell was sexier than Shakira. Now, Andie MacDowell is a nice, attractive woman, but she has less sex appeal than a widescreen laptop.)

Seriously, though, if you’re a woman who thinks that wearing a newsboy cap with a capelet and huge sunglasses is going to work better at attracting male attention than long hair and a plunging neckline in a slip dress, you are completely off your gourd. I mean, fine, go ahead and wear your cap and mini-cape if you want, but don’t be surprised if we’re more interested in looking at the chick with the slinky dress and the stripper hair. The short summary is, if you and your friends think it’s “cute”, whatever it is won’t even register on male consciousness.

As Space Bunny says, women dress more for other women than for men, which may account for why so many of them vigorously hate those few women who prefer to dress for men – and for whom men harbor such enthusiasm. Space Bunny also points out that men don’t dress for women, but then, I’ll freely admit that most of us have no idea what women find sexy. I sure don’t. The same women who openly drool over the fantastic body of a steroid-injecting firefighter will tell you that you’re too muscular for them. The same women who love the Sean Connery-Piers Brosnan James Bond thing will ask you why you’re so dressed up if you show up in a suit.

It’s hopelessly confusing… the only thing you can truly count on is that accessorizing with a Porsche is always attractive on any man.