Why the Sports Guy rules

Shakiest Coach of the Weekend: Brian Billick. Along with offensive coordinator Matt Cavanaugh, it took them three-and-a-half quarters to realize they should be throwing deep downfield to Todd Heap. Really? It took them that long to figure out that their All-Pro tight end might be able to run by the safeties when they were cheating up to stop Jamal Lewis … which was only every play? Don’t these people play video games? It’s the oldest trick in the book! Even early Intellivision had that play (9-4-2-8?).

I can beat the vast majority of gamers at Maddens, from 1992 to 1996 on Genesis, then 1999 to 2004 on PSX and PS/2. But I scoff at anyone who would even dream of taking me on in the brutal endurance test that is Intellivision football – 15-minute quarters baby, the real 15 minutes, none of this latter-day speed-stuff-up nonsense. I played that game by myself for hours, months on end. The only game at which I’m better is US Ski Team Skiiing. Still, the Sports Guy just might give me a game.

Always good to see a fellow fan of the Gold Disc and the Thumb of Power. You know that modern game controllers descend from the Gold Disc, right? Atari 2600 joysticks – pah!

(For those of you experiencing momentary paradigm shift, please be informed that for eight years, I designed, produced and reviewed video and computer games.)