When I say it, it’s funny

But when YOU say it, it is mean and it is not funny and you should stop:

It turns out that saying “the train is fine” has turned into a rhetorical tool by assholes to needle people they disagree with, so much so that just the other day I received almost a thousand hits on the video because of another author’s invocation of the catchphrase.

Being a parent of a child with autism is not a great experience. You get all the hardships of just being a parent, plus the additional burden of dealing with a child who does not have full control of his or her emotions or cognitive state. It can be frustrating, even heartbreaking, and because of that it’s good to be able to step back and laugh a little. But one thing we should not do is turn autism itself into the joke, or accuse people who are not autistic of being disabled themselves….

I’m not going to tell people how to comport themselves online. As I said above, I don’t even expect this entry is going to change anyone’s mind about anything. What’s more, I figure at least some of these assholes will come around and leave hateful comments because I’m daring to point out their thoughtlessness. That’s pretty much par for the course for people who think disabilities are a joke. At the same time, I’m not going to simply watch my blog stats tick upward based on the assholish behavior of others and say nothing. I try to be inoffensive here, but come on.

You will note I’m not naming names. I’m not into the shame game. If someone chooses to out themselves on their own blog or in the comments below, that’s their business, but I’m not going to gather up a bunch of villagers, arm them with torches and pitchforks, and send them en masse toward the castle. That’s not my way, and while it may have been in the past, it isn’t any longer. I’m content simply to say my peace and be done with it.

All I ask of those of you reading this is: stop it. You think you’re being clever and funny, but you’re not. You are being an awful person, and while you might believe it’s for a good cause, whatever point you’re trying to make is lost. Sure, your friends might have a hearty chuckle at how you called someone autistic and isn’t that hilarious, but those of us who live the struggle are not laughing. Our kids aren’t laughing. Our brothers and sisters and cousins and nieces and nephews who suffer with ASD aren’t laughing. It’s not a joke.

I’m so glad he’s not going to tell people how to comport themselves on line. Because if he had, I might have been inclined to observe that it’s not hard to see how the acorn doesn’t fall all that far from the tree. Fortunately, he didn’t, so I won’t.

It clearly escaped Mr. Speech Policeman there that “the train is fine” is not utilized simply as a means of needling those with whom one disagrees. It is utilized as a rhetorical means of demonstrating that the person with whom one disagrees is focused on the wrong thing, often to the point of seeming obsession. In other words, the behavior is observably similar to that of an autistic person, which is why the application of the phrase is funny. Humor is contextual, after all.

As it happens, I find this attempt to take offense at an unapproved use of the phrase to be ironic because it has effectively replaced something most people would tend to find rather more offensive, namely, the demand that the interlocutor “stop sperging”.

Which just goes to show that there is absolutely no point in paying any attention whatsoever to these idiot speech police. Considering the lengths to which they go to find offense, I would think they should be abasing themselves before me and expressing their heartfelt gratitude, not whining and crying… except of course that seeking attention by whining and crying is the whole point of the exercise.

The train is still fine.

UPDATE: Our own Autistic Commenter, ER, comments.

I happen to be autistic so I feel qualified to respond to Sam: Shut the fuck up you attention-seeking virtue-signaling hypocritical speech-policing pussified retard! The train is fine!

UPDATE II: And Azimus makes an apt observation:

The most fascinating aspect of all this is the guy Sam Hawken somehow manages to contort himself into a position where the original material mocking autistic people is funny, but a simple reference to it is offensive. I would love to give the man a piece of paper and a pencil and ask him to map out how this makes sense to him.


Lessons in Rhetoric: Swedish edition

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
@voxday So you’re glad that Breivik did what he did? You’re fucking despicable.

Vox Day @voxday
Why do you support Swedish women being raped and murdered by invaders? You’re despicable and a coward.

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
Why do you support the mass murder of innocent teenagers?

Vox Day @voxday
Why do you support Swedish women being raped and murdered by invaders? You’re despicable and a coward.

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
You are a pathetic racist fascist cunt.

Vox Day @voxday
You are a testosterone-free evolutionary dead end. Why do you sacrifice Swedish women to orcs?

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
Men of colour are not orcs.

Vox Day @voxday
Yes, they are. See, here’s a picture and everything!

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
You are just sad.

Vox Day @voxday
You’re an aspie who still lives with his parents. That’s called “psychological projection”. Also, the train is fine.

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
I’m not a fascist shit, so I’m better than you, and what train are you talking about?

Vox Day @voxday
The train is fine, Markus. The train is fine.

Markus from Sweden @the_Markunator
What train?!

Vox Day @voxday
The train that is fine.


Saladin’s taqiyya

It’s amazing that any Muslim still thinks that the West is collectively dumb enough to fall for this line:

Saladin Ahmed ‏@saladinahmed
Hey racist assholes exploiting an atrocity: Refugees from Syria, etc. are looking to *escape* this sort of violence, not to spread it.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Give up on the taqiyya, Saladin the Liar. Refugees from Syria committed the atrocity in Paris.

Leandro Novaes ‏@leahn_novash
3.609 retweets of his lie. It’s worrisome the amount of support the enemies of civilization can muster.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
No, Saladin the Liar is one of the SFWA’s affirmative action pets, so he gets inordinate attention.

All of SJW virtue-signaling and “I’m so sorry you had to experience that” condolences from the SFWA hugbox should be amusing. It’s also fascinating how the only place those poor refugees “from Syria” could  *escape* that sort of violence was in the West, instead of any of in any of the many countries belonging to their co-religionists.

In addition to implicitly trying to pass off Islam as a race, Ahmed himself belies his own argument. Look at the books featured on his Twitter header. Are they written about Native American culture? Are they written about Norman Rockwell American culture? About any Western culture? Of course not. Californian immigrants californicate. Islamic immigrants islamify. That’s how mass migration works. That’s how it has always worked.

Take it from a Native American whose brothers are literally on the reservation today.

UPDATE: See, this is exactly why they should have been sinking the damn boats:

Paris attacks terrorist suspect Ahmed Almuhamed ‘was rescued near Greece after his refugee boat sunk’. According to Serbian media, a Syrian passport belonging to Ahmed Almuhamed was found at the scene of the attack at the Stade de France. Now a Greek newspaper claims to have discovered the 25-year-old and a family member, called Mohammed Almuhmed, were rescued from a wrecked migrant boat that had sunk on the journey from Syria.


My personal attendance policy

I understand that some SJW on wheels (and does anyone know if “wheelchair” trumps “black”, “woman”, or “cyberviolence survivor” in the SJW hierarchy?), recently followed the lead of Mr. Scalzi and others in announcing a Personal Policy regarding future convention attendance.

Since attendance polices are apparently now a Thing in the science fiction world, I decided I would be remiss should I fail to do likewise. Therefore, I am pleased to present the official Vox Day Personal Convention Attendance Policy:

  • Offer an public statement on the convention website, and a written statement to me submitting to my Supreme Dark Lordship and offering specifics about tributes and sacrifices that will be offered to honor me throughout the course of the event.
  • A sign over the venue entrance no smaller than 1.6 meters by one meter with the following words inscribed: “SJW delenda est”.
  • All SJWs in attendance are to be clearly identified with rainbow badges and bar codes. Their next-of-kin shall be notified by convention personnel within 36 hours of the end of the event.
  • One throne of bones constructed with four silvered skulls; the seat and backrest should be either royal blue or blood-red velvet. The throne shall be placed stage right with sufficient room behind for no less than four armored minions.
  • An Unsafe Space which only Evil Legion of Evil members, minions, and their invited victims are permitted to enter. It must be equipped with an original Intellivision system and no less than 10 games (not including Las Vegas Poker & Blackjack), a Nespresso machine with Ristretto and Canella capsules, 12 bottles of Prosecco Conegliano Valdobbiadene Superiore DOCG, and either a) a floor-drainage system or b) a large, high-quality wet vac.

I am, granted, only the Supreme Dark Lord of the Evil Legion of Evil, with a mere 456 Vile Faceless Minions at my every whim, beck, and call, but I’m a cruel and arrogant voice that can no longer use my money and time to support conventions that cannot take the time to ensure that my dark reign is not properly recognized. You literally cannot pay me to attend a convention without a submission policy.


Fun with #WrongFamily

From what I understand, Nick Searcy is actually a good guy whose conservative heart is generally in the right place. However, someone should probably let him know that I’m really not the right guy with whom to play the “I adopted a black child and therefore cannot be criticized” game. I have to admit, this is the most fun I’ve had on Twitter in a long time.

Yes, Nick $earcy! ‏@yesnicksearcy
Do VOX & @Cernovich applaud the overt racism behind #cuckservative? Xtra hate for adoption!

Vox Day ‏@voxday
I certainly endorse use of the term to deride conservative pro-immigrationists destroying America.

Yes, Nick $earcy! ‏@yesnicksearcy
I’m not pro illegal immigration. I hosted a doc about it. But you are anti-transracial adoption?

Vox Day ‏@voxday
The adoption angle strikes me as an irrelevant rhetorical sideshow from both sides.

Yes, Nick $earcy! ‏@yesnicksearcy
Maybe you could spread the word among your fellow #cuckroaches. My transracial family offends them.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
The word isn’t “transracial”, Nick, it’s “multiracial”. Adopting kids doesn’t make you black.

Yes, Nick $earcy! ‏@yesnicksearcy
Wrong as usual, anonymous internet dickweed. The term is “transracial.” Eat it.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Nick, adopting kids doesn’t make you black. And stop hiding behind them. It’s pathetic.

Guild Carver ‏@Guildcarver
Stop trying vox the facts are against you. Definition.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Transracial would be if Nick said his family was Chinese. Do try to keep up.

Guild Carver ‏@Guildcarver
nick & family is white. Adopted son that is black. Transracial dickbag.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Godfrey Elfwick is transracial. Rachel Dolazel is transracial. I am multiracial.

Guild Carver ‏@Guildcarver
you’re nothing more than a dumbass who is ignoring facts to make a bullshit point for 15 minutes in the spotlight.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Stop with the transracist hate. #WrongSkin is real! Evidence.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Perhaps we should set aside “transracial” and “multiracial” and go with #WrongFamily? Everyone agree with that?

Yes, Nick $earcy! ‏@yesnicksearcy
I’m sure all of your fellow #cuckroaches would love the term #wrongfamily.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
Cool, I’m glad we’re agreed. I will join you in your fight against transfamilialphobia. #WrongFamily. 

The thing is, once you realize someone doesn’t merit being taken seriously, you may as well amuse yourself at their expense. You can probably figure out the exact point at which I reached that conclusion. And their other merits notwithstanding, anyone who wants to take a serious debate about mass immigration and transform it into a posturing sideshow about their get-out-of-racism-free token is not an individual with whom one can have a serious discussion, at least on that subject.

I found it particularly amusing that Mr. Searchy managed to transform the offense he took at one hashtag into another one he likes even less. And I have a brilliant #WrongFamily graphic meme in mind for the very important fight against transfamilialphobia.


When egos collide

I thought you all might find this Twitter exchange to be as amusing as I did. Surgeons are notorious for their arrogance, while your humble host is not exactly known for being devoid of confidence.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
A published study appears to have detected vaccine fraud in a CDC study of autism and the MMR vaccine.

David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@voxday No, not so much. But your swallowing that codswallop whole shows just how little you know about science.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@gorskon Amusing. You clearly don’t even understand the difference between statistical review and science. You’re science-illiterate.

Sebastian Armstrong ‏@spikesandspokes
@voxday @gorskon Hilarious, he is a cancer surgeon who has been part of breast cancer research, and YOU think HE is science-illiterate!

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@spikesandspokes @gorskon He observably is science-illiterate. Statistical analysis is not science. Neither, for that matter, is surgery.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@spikesandspokes @gorskon We’re getting ready for our fantasy football draft. Or, as you science-illiterates would call it, “doing science”.

David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@voxday @spikesandspokes Says the guy who has never published in the scientific literature and thinks he knows science.

David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@voxday @spikesandspokes As opposed to
someone (me) who has actually published multiple scientific papers,
including one coauthor in Nature

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@gorskon @spikesandspokes No, says the guy whose scientific hypotheses have been turned into multiple published papers and cited by Nature.

David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@spikesandspokes Don’t worry. @voxday amuses me with his arrogance of ignorance with respect to science, particularly vaccine science.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@gorskon @spikesandspokes You’re the one dumb enough to claim statistical review is science, not me.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@gorskon @spikesandspokes BFD. Nature has also cited one of my original hypotheses. And it doesn’t erase your basic blunder re statistics.

Vox Day ‏@voxday 2h
@gorskon @spikesandspokes But your logically fallacious appeal to credentials does amuse me. Now, I’ve got to get back to my draft science.

 David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@voxday @spikesandspokes Also, hypotheses are a dime a dozen. Hypotheses that stand up to scientific scrutiny are what matter, silly boy.

Vox Day ‏@voxday
 @gorskon @spikesandspokes They did, Mr. Doctor Scientist. That’s kind of the point.

Vox Day ‏@voxday @gorskon @spikesandspokes I’m not worried.
Your insecurity is hilarious. Nobody gives a damn about your
credentials, Mr. Doctor Scientist.

David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@voxday @spikesandspokes Who’s more insecure, the guy w/ actual scientific accomplishments (me) or the guy who brags about hypothese (you)?

Vox Day ‏@voxday
@gorskon @spikesandspokes I don’t brag about it. You’re the one who rushed to cite Nature, not me. I simply pointed out: BFD. So, you.

David Gorski ‏@gorskon
@voxday @spikesandspokes And you’re the one who bragged first about a hypothesis cited in Nature.

Vox Day ‏@voxday now
@gorskon @spikesandspokes Wrong again. I responded at 2:59 to your mention of Nature at 2:57. Science illiterate and can’t tell time either?

One thing I’ve noticed about scientists is that they never seem to understand that their expertise in one particular area doesn’t translate very well, if at all, into unrelated areas. That’s why it is so easy to trip them up; their rush to defend their wounded intellectual vanity leads them from one error into another.

And, of course, they always retreat to their credentials and citations in lieu of being able to actually argue their way out of a paper bag. It’s probably a character flaw, but I do love it when this sort of situational moron decides to take a crack at me.

UPDATE: To be fair to the guy, I was the first one to mention Nature. And, since apparently none of my would-be critics are smart enough to search the blog, the hypothesis referenced is obviously my argument demonstrating that religion does not cause war, which has been cited everywhere from Foreign Policy to Wikipedia to Nature to The New York Times. And as for anyone who wants to resort to the obvious dodge of crediting The Encyclopedia of Wars, well, I will simply laugh at you and observe that while I have it, and have read it, you obviously haven’t ever even laid eyes upon it.


John Ringo on a 2013 Hugo winner

The Baen Books author wonders how much longer conservative and libertarian readers are going to continue to buy derivative books written by a progressive male demi-feminist who openly despises them:

So about the whole Scalzi ‘thing.’

Scalzi was pissing
me off even before getting a Hugo for a novel so remarkably unremarkable
it would barely have made it to paperback in the 1970s. Nothing against
it, it’s a fun, simple, mindless, read from all I’ve gathered. But it’s
not exactly Stranger in a Strange Land or Nightfall.

Scalzi
is president of SFWA (sort of the writer’s union for SF authors) or
whatever they’re calling it this week. As president instead of, oh, I
dunno, working to get better generalized terms for new authors, ensuring
contracts are upheld with publishers, maybe, someday, getting a fucking
health care insurer for all us authors who don’t have health insurance,
he’d been concentrating on IMPORTANT matters like making sure all
characters were called s/he and women weren’t being harassed at cons
(which happens and is up to the convention people to manage) and… The
list of ‘not-core-issue’ kerfuffles he’s been involved in as president
makes you think he’s president of ACORN not an SF union. And it was not
only driving out members (or they were expelling members for
‘bad-speak’) it was making the group as irrelevant as the opinion of an
abyssal nematode.

But I wasn’t the only one that Scalzi was pissing off. And that’s sort of the important point for Scalzi….

Which is where we start to see the issues with Scalzi suddenly not so
much ‘coming out of the closet’ but making a splash on a variety of
hot-button issues that really don’t sit well with his RETAIL market. The
people who actually BUY the books over the counter as opposed to
market, sell and even buy them for distribution. The more books you can
get a bookstore to buy, the more likely you are to sell them. So being
the poster child for your commercial people is a good thing.
Pissing off the people who in the end have to actually buy the books to read…. Not so much.

And the market fraction of true ‘Modern Progressives’ who read combat SF is HYSTERICALLY low.

Many people who used to be fans of the 2013 Best Novel winner are beginning to figure out that Scalzi is a fraud, not so much because he exaggerates his daily blog readership by a mere 46,000 readers (or, if you prefer, 1,150 percent), but in terms of him being an original writer or one who is even remotely considerate of conservative or libertarian perspectives.  It’s possible, I suppose, that the all-seeing eye of Instapundit, who used to push Scalzi’s books on a regular basis, happens to be totally unaware of the Hugo awards, which he has not seen fit to mention.

Or perhaps the libertarian opinion leader has, like Mr. Ringo, gradually had his eyes opened to the real Scalzi, to the man’s increasingly vocal support for insane left-wing policies, to his hatred for free association, and to his complete flip-flop on free speech.  Remember, back in 2005, before he was established in the science fiction world, Scalzi was claiming that he wouldn’t want to see anyone expelled from SFWA for their beliefs. In 2013, he quit paying his SFWA dues and threatened to quit the organization entirely if someone wasn’t expelled from the SFWA for their beliefs.

How things change once a man feels he can afford to reveal his true character.

Unlike Mr. Ringo, I’m genuinely pleased that McRapey won the Hugo for a mediocre and derivative novel. That isn’t false magnanimity, it is merely that I am publicly on record as stating that the awards in the SF field became a hopelessly politicized joke when incoming SFWA president Catharine Asaro won the Nebula for The Quantum Rose in 2002. I drew considerable ire from many SFWA members for pointing that out on Black Gate last year, and I view three-time SFWA president John Scalzi’s Hugo for Redshirts as conclusive evidence in support of my hypothesis.

I also found it amusing that even McRapey’s little Twitter friend at the Guardian wrote about the Hugo awards with a distinct damned-by-faint-praise air to the article.

There is something else too, something darker. I once accidentally won a drawing award when I was six. I can’t draw at all and so I traced an image of a wood duck for a homework assignment. I had absolutely no idea that the teacher would send it into the Star as part of a big state-wide school competition, still less that I would win it for my 5-7 age group. That bloody duck was even featured in the Minneapolis newspaper. I don’t think my mother realized I wasn’t an artist until after I had graduated from college and she never figured out why both the newspaper clippings and the award disappeared.

So I speak from experience when I say that the only thing that rankles the soul more than merit that goes unrecognized is recognition that the receiver knows is unmerited. As writers, we know very well where our books stand in comparison with the greats as well as which of our contemporaries merit being numbered among them. That is why there are few things I could do to more cruelly scar the hypersensitive McRapey over time than the voting WorldCon membership has now done. Once the excitement from his long-sought Sally Field moment fades and the inevitable self-doubts creep in – for the narcissistic gamma male is ever prone to self-doubts as well as grandiose delusions – well, that’s when it should get interesting.

At least he’ll always have his lawn.

On the other hand, there are still those, like Professor Bainbridge, who not only don’t know mediocre science fiction when they see it, but are from the short-sighted conservative school of thought that is proud to materially support the very progressives, socialists and Trotskyites who seek to destroy it.  I can’t say I blame him, as I used to be inclined to a libertarian view of that perspective until the creation of Fox News made it very clear what a severe price had been paid over time for the privilege of feeling open-minded.

Another discussion of Ringo’s observations of John Scalzi’s achievement in left-liberal politicking, including an appearance by the Toad of Tor herself, can be found here. Note that you have to turn off NoScript to see the comments.


He can handle her

Rollo responds to a meme popular among some women:  “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out
of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at
my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” 

That’s not a bad response.  But Shiunji Watanabe’s is arguably more tolerant, less judgmental, and thereby superior in every way.  Now, THERE is a man who could truly handle a woman at her worst.  And don’t forget, 95 percent of all the weirdness in the world comes out of Japan.  True science fact.

However, since we are considering the wit and wisdom of Marilyn Monroe, surely we would be wise to also contemplate the noted English philosophers collectively known as One Direction?

1.  A lack of consciousness of her beauty is what makes a woman beautiful.
2.  There is no woman less conscious of her beauty than a dead women.
3.  Therefore, dead women are the most beautiful.

ὅπερ ἔδει δεῖξαι.  Thereby justifying not only Mr. Watanabe, but the infamous Hoodoogurus.  Now, I can hear some of you wondering if presenting logically impeccable arguments for necrophilia are the right way to go about winning the upcoming SFWA election, but keep in mind that these are the very people who have created a global cottage industry out of thinly disguised necrophilia and bestiality, to say nothing of electing McRapey not once, not twice, but thrice.


He just wouldn’t stay down

As the Alabama sheriff said, “he was reaching for something….”  I’m not quite sure what amuses me more, the idea that I am the slightest bit concerned about being fair, the idea that I have any concern whatsoever for what Ackroyd thinks, or that he appears to believe he can dig his way out of looking like an ignoramus with a double-digit IQ if he only tries a little harder.

On second thought, I do have a question.  There are four “demotivational” posters featuring individual atheists.  The Hitchens, Harris and Dawkins posters feature words none of them actually said.  Given
that, was it fair of Vox to savage me as an “ignorant atheist” for not
realizing the Dennett poster features words he did say–paraphrased? I
think not.

Of course it was not only fair, but just, that I castigated poor little Ackroyd, accurately or not.  In the immortal words of Obadiah Hakeswill, “says so in the Scriptures”.  If you are going to come in here arrogantly asserting your opinion about the stupidity of this and the idiocy of that and generally acting like a big dog, don’t be surprised when you find yourself unexpectedly sad, wet, and stinking of urine.  I am the bigger dog.  I am an Award Winning Cruelty Artist.   I will cut a bitch with a smile on my face.  A minor character flaw, no doubt, but one concerning which everyone who comments here has been duly notified.

Furthermore, I was undeniably correct about the “ignorant” part.  Ackroyd was, by his own admission, completely ignorant of Dennett’s writings.  And now, thanks to his unwise attempt at ex post facto self-defense, we can safely conclude that he is stupid as well, because after drawing attention to the abject stupidity of the phrase on the poster, tried to defend Dennett’s incompetent argument advocating the intrinsic trustworthiness of science:

“In light of this, do the words on the poster convey Dennett’s point
accurately? Or would it be more fair to paraphrase him as saying
“Science can be trusted, because it yields amazingly accurate results”?
And isn’t this in fact true–as far as it goes?”

Yes, they most certainly do.  No.  And no, because it demonstrably isn’t true at all.  It repeats the very mistake Dennett made, which is the very reason the Dennett demotivator is both accurate and amusing.  Ackroyd still hasn’t understood that Dennett’s syllogism is faulty.  Not all sciences are created equal.  For example, physics yields amazingly accurate results.  Evolutionary biology, on the other hand, unquestionably does not and evolutionary biologists don’t claim that it does.  In his book, Dennett tries a classic New Atheist bait-and-switch, asserting that since both physics and not-physics are called science, if physics yields amazingly accurate results, then not-physics should be trusted… even though not-physics doesn’t produce any of the trust-inspiring results.  I could argue, every bit as reasonably as Dennett, that because theology is a science, “the queen of the sciences”, in fact, it should also be trusted on the basis of the amazingly accurate results of physics.


Peasant Game

This Alpha Game post is dedicated to my friends at Fraters Libertas:

I would be remiss if I did not mention that there is a much more serious and underlying problem [than the Beer Shield] on display here. By holding a beer, by drinking beer, by even being credibly identified as a beer drinker, a man is signifying that he is an illiterate peasant, of solid, but hearty stock, the sort of man thick-waisted farm girls with red faces and ankles the size and shape of overstuffed German sausages expect to meet out behind the haystacks. Civilized men who attract beautiful women drink wine, preferably red wine, although prosecco and lambrusco are acceptable alternatives in the summer heat or on Friday night with pizza.