I understand that some SJW on wheels (and does anyone know if “wheelchair” trumps “black”, “woman”, or “cyberviolence survivor” in the SJW hierarchy?), recently followed the lead of Mr. Scalzi and others in announcing a Personal Policy regarding future convention attendance.
Since attendance polices are apparently now a Thing in the science fiction world, I decided I would be remiss should I fail to do likewise. Therefore, I am pleased to present the official Vox Day Personal Convention Attendance Policy:
- Offer an public statement on the convention website, and a written statement to me submitting to my Supreme Dark Lordship and offering specifics about tributes and sacrifices that will be offered to honor me throughout the course of the event.
- A sign over the venue entrance no smaller than 1.6 meters by one meter with the following words inscribed: “SJW delenda est”.
- All SJWs in attendance are to be clearly identified with rainbow badges and bar codes. Their next-of-kin shall be notified by convention personnel within 36 hours of the end of the event.
- One throne of bones constructed with four silvered skulls; the seat and backrest should be either royal blue or blood-red velvet. The throne shall be placed stage right with sufficient room behind for no less than four armored minions.
- An Unsafe Space which only Evil Legion of Evil members, minions, and their invited victims are permitted to enter. It must be equipped with an original Intellivision system and no less than 10 games (not including Las Vegas Poker & Blackjack), a Nespresso machine with Ristretto and Canella capsules, 12 bottles of Prosecco Conegliano Valdobbiadene Superiore DOCG, and either a) a floor-drainage system or b) a large, high-quality wet vac.
I am, granted, only the Supreme Dark Lord of the Evil Legion of Evil, with a mere 456 Vile Faceless Minions at my every whim, beck, and call, but I’m a cruel and arrogant voice that can no longer use my money and time to support conventions that cannot take the time to ensure that my dark reign is not properly recognized. You literally cannot pay me to attend a convention without a submission policy.
