The Siege of the Black Citadel

THE SIEGE OF THE BLACK CITADEL

The first in a series of Conan novels by The Legend Chuck Dixon is also appearing in the new Illustrated Text format on Arktoons. A limited signed edition will be available soon on the Arktoons store.

Slender and lithe, the girl spun in the firelight to the hypnotic beat of the drums. A trilling flute rose and fell with each twirl of her body. A necklace of long white feathers offered tantalizing glimpses of swaying breasts as she danced. Sky blue eyes flashed from beneath a mane of cornsilk hair plastered to her face by a sheen of sweat, her taunting gaze set off by a band of charcoal ash streaked across her face as a mask. Anklets of silver bells made their own music as her feet flew across the sand.

The air was thick with the scent of men and spices under the broad market tent that dominated the settlement of camp followers. Braziers offered meat, most probably horse, served piping hot on rods of oak. Barrels of ale and spirits, certainly watered down, were drained at a dear price that rose each day. There were women as well, and the cost to lie with them remained affordable. there was no scarcity of whores of all kinds in the rebel camp.

The men who crowded the rugs and tables that encircled the center ring of the tent paid the steep prices for food and drink with a grumble, yet they paid. The tedium of garrison life and the increasing cold of the coming winter forced them to find distractions within the souks and bordellos of the nomadic village of merchant tents that had come to rest beyond the log ramparts of the siege fort. The anticipation of battle to come—a battle many of them might not survive—made a man think more of the pleasures of the day than a full purse in a future he might not be alive to see.

“Cimmerian, I would speak to you,” Danix said, touching the broad shoulder of a man seated on the ground at the edge of the open ring.

“Conan cannot hear you, captain,” said M’ollo, a swarthy Turan with a braided topknot that reached the small of his back.

“Your words are drowned out by the tinkle of that harlot’s chimes,” laughed Lugan, a Nemedian with a thick brush of white blond hair and a puckered scar where his right eye had been.

THE SIEGE OF THE BLACK CITADEL Episode 1: Copper Coins

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Tuesday Arktoons

THE SIDEWINDERS Episode 1: The Wagon Train

MIDNIGHT’S WAR Episode 44: Long Nights, Longer Days

BOB Episode 61: Spontaneous Combustion

VEGFOLK FABLES Episode 124: Two Candles

THE AWAKENER Episode 52: Inferno

SPACEKRAKEN Episode 23: Social Sport Hunting

BEN GARRISON Episode 66: Ukraine Baby

CHUCK DIXON’S AVALON Episode 68: The Evil Queen

STONETOSS Episode 113: Thin Blue Line

THE SIDEWINDERS is the newest Arktoons text series, beginning with SNAKEHAND, an action-packed Western by The Legend Chuck Dixon.

THE AWAKENER

Monday Arktoons

WARDOGS INC. Episode 1: Easy Money

JEWELS OF GWAHLUR: Episode 1: Paths of Intrigue

HYPERGAMOUSE Episode 68: Cool Aunty

EVIL MONKEY MEMES Episode 46: Run For Your Life

REBEL DEAD REVENGE Episode 38: Damn The Devil

CHUCK DIXON PRESENTS: WAR Episode 61: Iron Mike McGraw Gyrene Raid

SAVAGE MEMES Episode 155: Biology

Arkhaven Comics is very pleased to announce two new types of content on Arktoons, the text episode and the illustrated text episode. Today we’re introducing two new series to show them off: WARDOGS INC. is an example of text-only episodes while the public domain Conan story, JEWELS OF GWAHLUR, demonstrates the illustrated text episode with new art from SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN illustrator Richard Bonk.

We’ll be launching a number of new series of both types this week, including two by The Legend Chuck Dixon, and we look forward to independent authors who are interested in publishing in one of these formats getting in touch with us and joining the platform.

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JEWELS OF GWAHLUR




Thursday Arktoons

STONETOSS Episode 112: Chargeback

WARMAN Episode 14: The Looters Return

VEGFOLK FABLES Episode 122: Wanted

CHUCK DIXON PRESENTS: ADVENTURE Episode 55: Blackout

SPACEKRAKEN Episode 22: Employee Retention

CHATEAU GRIEF Episode 127: Kiss Met

THE SAGA OF EVIL MONKEY MAN Episode 16: The Disturbing Express

STONETOSS

In the meantime, DC – formerly DC Comics – is demonstrating why it appears to be moving out of publishing comics. While there is nothing wrong with addressing politics in a graphic format, there is a way to do it and there is a way to definitely not do it. And this Harley Quinn comic is without question the latter.

It’s so unbelievably bad that it’s hard to believe that it’s real. But it is, and it is why Arkhaven is inevitable.

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Hypergamouse is Real

The punchline: I came up with this quote just a few minutes ago. I thought /r/atheism would appreciate

It’s the smug, pudgy gammatude that radiates from creatures like this that is almost impossible to parody or even exaggerate. You just know the guy is so impressed with his own lofty 110 IQ that he can’t figure out why the hot babes aren’t climbing all over each other just to be lectured by him.

And the grammar. Ye cats, what is with the creative approach to punctuation? It’s astonishing how many of these self-quoting self-enlightened philosophers still haven’t mastered the basic rules of the language they are attempting to use.

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