Why We Thought We Had to go to College

Like me, Uncle John went to a Special Boy College. And like me, he was deeply disenchanted by the experience before he finished his junior year there.

The noontide of the boomer had to be experienced to be appreciated. There is no incompatibility between [seeing where it was headed in my late teens] and [not claiming to be boy Nostradamus]. The obviousness is … well … obvious when that’s what mainstream popular socio-cultural discourse for the age 24-42 set looked like.

The big picture is that post-war TV-driven mass consumer culture was centralizing and homogenizing. Switching out reality for screen = same House of Lies for everyone. Things that hadn’t even been on the radar were suddenly presented as aspirational. Meanwhile, mass living standards were soaring. Materialist class consciousness introduced the desire for ”high class” trappings in ordinary life. And the cultural conception of “higher education” changed radically.

Boomers understand reality mainly through TV and Pedowood, with some selective social media. It’s why they’re most ensorcelled by the House of Lies and their men are the most Gamma of cohorts. Obviously oversimplifying a little, but the Boomer conception of college we absorbed by osmosis could be summed up in two movies.

Animal House was a 1978 film set in 1962. The oldest boomers were turning 17, so it wasn’t exactly a nostalgia piece. More retconning early memories to glorify atavism and cultural degeneration. The insightful part was nailing the hollow, morally bankrupt worthlessness of post-War “institutions”. But the problem presenting [hypocritical worthless trash] vs. [atavistic worthless trash as the only options. Making the atavistic one “cool” is boomer-era media 101. The Big Chill is the unofficial bookend. Reassurance that that oh-so-seminal youthful waste of time really would always be meaningful. The film came on my radar first term of college when one large and uncool knot of freshman were consciously trying to pre-create their own “Big Chill moments”. Note how no boomers you know remain tight with their college friends. Neither did that group.

Not dropping out of college halfway through my sophomore year to market and sell my 16-channel CD quality stereo PC sound board, which was not only conceived, but designed and fully-functional in 1987, is one of my greatest regrets in life. To this day, it astonishes me that my father, who had been force-feeding me business books since junior high, didn’t absolutely leap at the opportunity to encourage me to take that step and drop out. So, instead of becoming a multi-millionaire tech entrepreneur before the age of 21, I picked up an Economics degree, got to know the Tokyo nightlife like the back of my hand, and dated a few literal Cinderellas.

Where did you think Cosmic Trigger came from anyhow? Waterskiing on Lake Minnetonka?

Don’t run away, don’t run away
You can fly your freak flag high today
Cinderella’s seeking vengeance
And she’ll be back on Saturday

Pull, pull pull, I’m the C-C-C-Cosmic Trigger!

Ah well. Sometimes all we can do is help the next generation not imitate our mistakes.

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