Hey, New Friend!

The Euro-American surveillance state is why it’s a good idea to keep all your would-be new best buddies out of your life:

I almost walk straight into this guy, short, about my age, standing directly outside my door. he has heavy American accent, he explains he is on the way to nearby tax adviser and comes up with pretence to speak to me, we talk about America, and then suddenly we have all of these common interests: fitness running etc. can he have my phone number, maybe he and his girlfriend can go hiking with me and my girlfriend.

So like idiot, I give him number, don’t think much about it. In retrospect the whole incident reminds of a few press stories I’ve read about how the SEK confirm addresses before raiding houses: casual encounters, often they claim they have the wrong address, etc.

I’m non-committal about the hiking double date idea, and for a week nothing. then he keeps ‘randomly’ running into me, also in weird places. It is small village, I have never seen him before and suddenly he’s everywhere. At the bank where I’m withdrawing money, he’s there, at the local recycling centre where I’m throwing away papers, he’s there. He texts me but I ignore. After the like third encounter where I maintain polite but non-committal attitude he disappears and I never see him or his weird van ever again.

When you run into these surveillance agents, always take their picture. Their reaction will reliably confirm your suspicions. And then post the pictures on Twitter or whatever; manpower is finite and one individual is probably being used to stalk dozens of individuals over the course of a year. The fact that they’re using Americans to spy on Germans in Germany tends to indicate that Clown World has fewer operatives than they would like us to believe.

This is one of the many reasons that I have absolutely zero desire for any new friends. Although I have to admit, it would be amusing to see some rando popping up around town attempting to claim that he shares my interests.

“I, too, enjoy sitting alone in the dark listening to Brahms while calculating maximal fixation rates! Give me your phone number and perhaps we can get together and go hiking!”