Fruits and Vegetables are Literally Poison

It’s exactly as I always suspected. Even as a child, I had grave suspicions that fruits and vegetables were an insidious plot to poison humanity.

Strawberries top a list of fruits and vegetables from UK supermarkets found to contain potentially dangerous pesticide toxins. The man-made substances, called PFAS, are known as ‘forever chemicals’ because they may never leave the body once they are consumed.

They are linked to serious health issues including cancer, high cholesterol, reduced kidney function, thyroid disease, low fertility, repressed immune system and low birth weight in babies. They are also feared to affect growth, learning, and behaviour development in infants and children.

A government testing programme checked fresh produce on sale in the UK, some of which had been imported from overseas. It found 95 per cent of strawberries contained PFAS. Other foods that contained the toxins included grapes (61 per cent), cherries (56 per cent), spinach (42 per cent), tomatoes (38 per cent) and peaches (38 per cent).

It’s very satisfying to learn, all these many years later, that my excellent physical health and superb intellectual development is due, at least in part, to my steadfast refusal to eat that inedible green stuff in my formative years. I also wonder if those who advocate the vegetarian, vegan, and fruitarian lifestyles have even begun to take the dire consequences of ingesting these forever chemicals on a daily basis.

I shall contemplate the implications over a lunch of dried jamon iberico, longanza pimienta, and emmental doux. One can’t be too careful, after all.