E-Cars are the New Vaxx

I don’t care how convenient or environmental electric cars are. Because you’d have to be either suicidally depressed or unimaginative in the extreme to buy a car with self-driving capabilities.

A terrified electric car driver has revealed he was kidnapped by his runaway £30,000 MG ZS EV after the vehicle suffered a ‘catastrophic malfunction’ in a bizarre case which forced him to dodge red lights and roundabouts before calling police to ram it into their van.

Brian Morrison, 53, claims he was heading home from work at around 10pm on Sunday when his new Chinese-made fully electric car began driving itself at 30mph.

Unable to use the brakes, the Glaswegian – who runs his own social enterprise – called police who stopped the vehicle by allowing it to slowly crash into their van.

Logan’s Run would have been a lot shorter if the Sandmen had been able to simply commandeer and crash the vehicles carrying black-palmed citizens who’d aged out of their society.