No, Harry, No!

Prince Harry has left readers wincing with his account of applying Elizabeth Arden cream used by his late mother to his frostbitten penis in 2011. The moment appears in his explosive memoir Spare, with a clip from the audiobook narrated by the Duke of Sussex himself making the rounds on social media, where horrified readers have called it a ‘Freudian nightmare.’ In the passage, Harry recalls that his late mother Princess Diana used to apply the cream to her lips, and says the smell of the product made him feel like his mother ‘was right there in the room’ before he applied the cream to his penis.

We’ve officially reached the point where satanic humiliation ritual may be the most optimistic explanation for Harry Markle’s behavior. Who ghostwrote this for him, Jordan Peterson?