Boris is Back for Britain

I expect the return of Boris Johnson to the British premiership is going to go worse than putting the corpse of Queen Elizabeth II back on the throne.

Tory MPs are waiting for news this morning after leadership rivals Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak held three-hour talks late last night over a possible power-sharing pact. The pair met at 8pm last night, where Mr Johnson argued that if he re-entered No10 with Mr Sunak in a senior role it would avoid a divisive battle.

But Mr Sunak’s campaign received a major boost this morning when prominent Brexiteer Steve Baker gave his support to the former Chancellor and warned Tory MPs against putting Mr Johnson back in Downing Street. The Northern Ireland minister, who backed Liz Truss over Mr Sunak in this summer’s leadership contest, claimed a Boris comeback would be a ‘guaranteed disaster’.

Sadly for the Tories, about the only thing capable of going worse for them than Boris’s return would be the foreign corruption of the Indian dwarf Fishy Rishy. So naturally, it makes sense that they’ll offer a two-for-one in a futile attempt to delay the inevitable General Election that will drive them from power.

At this point, the best hope for Britain may be an unsuccessful war against the Sino-Russian alliance.

UPDATE: No deal. The Empire wants unvarnished foreign rule, not Le Cirque du Boris 2.0.

Rishi Sunak officially launches bid to be PM after three-hour peace talks between him and Boris end ‘with NO deal’