The First Rule of Ticket-Taking

You do NOT talk about the Ticket Masters:

Kelly Clarkson: I’ve had people throw MILLIONS of dollars in my face to do something I didn’t want to do!

Kevin Hart: (makes a face, places index finger over his own lip)

Kelly Clarkson: And… what?

Kevin Hart: (repeats gesture)

Kelly Clarkson: Just… you’ve been offered, oh, they’re in the room!

Kevin Hart: Yeah, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna…

Kelly Clarkson: (fake laughs nervously)

Kevin Hart: Yeah, that was my way of cueing you, like, it’s open time.

Kelly Clarkson: Yeah, you want me to keep talking about…

Kevin Hart: By all means, let’s, we can talk about anything, but, (repeats gesture)

Kelly Clarkson: But don’t do it! Shhh!

Kevin Hart: Yeah, no, of course.

If you have any degree of success, any degree at all, they will come to you with their over-the-top praise, their blandishments, their fancy pants, their lollipops, and their temptations. But even if they offer you all the kingdoms of the world, do not take the ticket.

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