We Are Wizards

Or we might as well be, insofar as the denizens of the Hellmouth are concerned. Vox’s First Law meets Arthur C. Clark’s First Law on the chans.

Were Sherlock Holmes to kill a hotel room full of three people, he’d enter using a secret door in the hotel that he read about in a book ten years ago. He’d throw peanuts at one guy causing him to go into anaphylactic shock, as he had deduced from a dartboard with a picture of George Washington Carver on it pinned to the wall that the man had a severe peanut allergy. The second man would then kill himself just according to plan as Sherlock had earlier deduced that him and the first man were homosexual lovers who couldn’t live without each other due to a faint scent of penis on each man’s breath and a slight dilation of their pupils whenever they looked at each other.

As for the third man, why, Sherlock doesn’t kill him at all. The third man removes his sunglasses and wig to reveal he actually WAS Sherlock the entire time. But Sherlock just entered through the Secret door and killed two people, how can there be two of him? The first Sherlock removes his mask to reveal he’s actually Moriarty attempting to frame Sherlock for two murders. Sherlock, however, anticipated this, the two dead men stand up. They’re undercover police officers, it was all a ruse.

“But Sherlock!” Moriarty cries “That police officer blew his own head off. look at it. There’s skull fragments on the wall, how is he fine now? How did you fake that?”

Sherlock just winks at the screen, the end.

This is retarded because Sherlock is a smart person written by a stupid person to whom smart people are indistinguishable from wizards.

Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from wizardry.