Thank you, Corona-chan!

Dear President Trump,

The Emergency Committee of the World Health Organization declared on January 30, 2020 that the Coronavirus outbreak meets the criteria for a Public Health Emergency of International Concern. As this is a global health emergency, it is undeniable that the national security interest of the American people leaves you no choice but to declare martial law in the United States.

Please do so at your earliest convenience.

The concerned citizens of the United States of America

PS: If martial law helps you Drain the Swamp, Build the Wall, and restore the 1965 demographic balance of the population while you’re at it, so be it.