An act of self-regicide

I knew l’affaire de Markle was going to end badly. But I never suspected it was going to end in such a spectacularly bad manner:

Senior members of the royal family have gathered at Kensington Palace to celebrate the Duchess of Cambridge’s 38th birthday amid an ongoing crisis after Prince Harry and Meghan’s bombshell announcement last night.

Kate was seen arriving back at the palace today along with other royals such as Prince Eugenie, with birthday celebrations set to be dominated by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s decision to step back from family roles.

There are expected to be crisis talks today among the most senior family members, who are said to be ‘downright furious’ after learning about the announcement minutes before it broke on television news channels last night.

Royal sources today claimed Prince Harry had ignored crystal-clear orders from the Queen on the subject, after she instructed him not to make announcement about his future plans at this time.

It is understood that Harry had requested a meeting with the Queen at Sandringham as soon as he arrived back in the UK with Meghan and their son Archie this weekend, following a six-week Christmas break to Canada.

The Queen offered to meet the Duke – which was blocked by courtiers – but she still made an explicit request to her grandson that he first discuss his future plans in detail with his father, the Prince of Wales.

But the couple defied the order, going ahead with the announcement and ‘pressing the nuclear button’ on their royal careers, with William and Charles allegedly receiving a copy of the statement just 10 minutes beforehand.

I would definitely recommend avoiding boarding any flight that happens to be carrying Harry, Megan, Andrew, and Fergie. Just, you know, as a precaution. Especially when the British government can so easily play the Lockerbie card and blame the Iranians seeking revenge for General Soleimani.

Royal sources today claimed Prince Harry had ignored crystal-clear orders from the Queen on the subject

One almost wonders if he blames the Queen for his mother’s fate. I find it hard to believe that anyone can be that ensorcelled by a third-rate actress.