A new Kavanagh bombshell

This one is hard to believe, but the accuser is indubitably credible:

I’ve always thought, as most people do, that John Wilkes Booth shot Abraham Lincoln at Ford’s Theater on April 4, 1865.  But after spending six days talking with lawyers from the Democratic Party to help me refresh my memory, I’ve come to realize that it wasn’t John Wilkes Booth at all, but rather Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh.

I had no memory of this happening as recently as last week, but today, it is as clear as day.  I remember Kavanaugh coming up from behind the president of the United States and aiming a pistol at him.  Only I’m not sure it was at Ford’s Theater.  It might have been at Ford’s Theater, but it might also have been on the Mall, or in the White House, or on Capitol Hill.  I’m a little hazy on the day, too.  It might have been April 4, 1865, but it also could have been a few days before or after, maybe even as early as 1864.

The problem is that I had a few minor memory gaps.  I don’t remember what happened right before or right after the shooting.  I don’t remember exactly who was there and who wasn’t.  All I remember clearly is that Brett Kavanaugh did it.

Why hasn’t the Secret Service arrested Brett Kavanagh for the murder of Abraham Lincoln already? We need a Special Counsel to investigate the Trump administration’s actions concerning this potentially unlawful coverup!


UPDATE: If you want to comment on Ford’s appearance in front of the Senate, this would be the place.