Moviegate: a review of THE LAST JEDI

Considering what the Star Wars movies cost to make, one almost wonders if Disney simply paid them all off. What other reason is there for them so thoroughly tongue-polishing what the fans are increasingly observing is a stinking SJW monstrosity:

This film is horrifically boring, disrespectful to its source material, painfully pedantic to hollow philosophy, and without any discernible heart for what makes Star Wars special. The flippant way the characters are handled distracts from the experience all the way to the end of the film. The humor is out of place and falls flat (George Lucas’ prequel fart jokes were funnier).

I’m pretty sure the director was urinating on the fan base with that Leia scene (yes, you know the one) and the ‘out of range’ in a vacuum farce. Johnson completely disrespects everything Abrams built in Force Awakens, destroying great characters and interesting questions. Mark Hamil gives a stellar performance even as Johnson tanks the character into tit-suckling, Skype-kamikazi yogi. Yoda’s awkward appearance gives us Johnson’s patricidal philosophy that rejects the filial piety that infused earlier Star Wars source material, which is the same philosophy he gives Kylo Ren’s character: we only have our identity insofar as we progress beyond our predecessors. As Yoda torches the Jedi sacred texts, so Rian throws the Star Wars series into this bonfire of a catastrophe.

Finally, a word about the critics. The universal critical acclaim for this movie is utter malpractice. There is no galaxy in which the pacing of this movie is acceptable, even if you agree with Johnson’s subversive strategy (I get it critics, you go to a lot of movies and you are tired of Joseph Campbell’s archetypes). The movie slowly meanders from empty motivation to empty motivation before giving us an empty hologram that disappears. You failed to assess this. Additionally, even though you may resent the Star Wars fandom for its enthusiasm and tradition, you should have the intellectual imagination to note that fans of the source material would be put off by what Johnson has done. I don’t know if it’s the big party, the media ownership reach, or the sub-par education the opulent years if the US gave us, but something force-skyped the brains of our critics to turn them off when reviewing this film.

I have to admit it, I am enjoying this. I despise all things SJW, but I particularly despise the SJW-corruptions of things I used to love. I intensely dislike things that disrespect their source material, and Disneyfication is now a byword for that contemptible form of disrespect.

Note that even when we published Corrosion as a parody of The Corroding Empire, what we published was a significant improvement on the original. To the extent that one can even use that term for anything that McRapey wrote.