Cataline reviews THE LAST JEDI:
This one sucked, don’t see it.
I could end my review there but I suppose you want a little bit more than that.
I intend to deliver many, many spoilers in this review because the producers of this heap of shit have gone to some lengths to destroy a favorite of my childhood. I can’t believe I’m fucking saying this but, “George Lucas, all is forgiven! Come back to us, I beg you!”
This was a cavalcade of boring, cliched awfulness in every way available to it. I’m not saying that because I’m a contrarian Alt Right asshole. I’m saying that because every word of that is true.
A couple of days ago a commenter Shitlord Numéro Uno said…
Wait, so you think the force awakens is a good movie? Holy dear God.
Compared to this, it absolutely is. This is the first of the fully SJW Converged Star Wars movies. Force Awakens just tried to score some Diversity Points here and there. But Last Jedi positively panders to the SJWs. From the Body Positive Asian Chick. The lectures on social inequality on Rich People Planet. To Benicio del Toro’s monologue that was heavy on nihilist equivocation This movie turned around, bent over for the SJWs and announced that Star Wars was open for business. Upside this surrender to all things SJW, guaranteed that critics would prostitute themselves and give it positive reviews. And they did but we’ll get to that at the end of this article.
The Last Jedi will make money but I would be shocked if it doesn’t kill the franchise in the end. The fanbois are over-committed to Star Wars and will try to convince themselves at it doesn’t suck. Now the SJW fanbois will have to pretend that it was really important that Star Wars hands out boring ass lectures for the price of admission but for the rest, the backlash over Last Jedi will make the one over Force Awakens look like a case of very mild buyers remorse.
The writing is incredibly weak. The tone is inconsistent. It’s boring as hell for the most part and all of the mysteries set up in the last movie got swept under the carpet.
Lets take a look at it, shall we?
I can’t say that I’m even remotely surprised. Disney ruins everything; was there really any doubt that they could manage to ruin Star Wars in an even more thoroughly professional sense than George Lucas’s amateurism ever permitted?
Critics: 93{9a996019c711e78922037ddc236e8e30d6b42c40f34cfa785ada7e9abef6c172}, Audience: 57{9a996019c711e78922037ddc236e8e30d6b42c40f34cfa785ada7e9abef6c172}.
Yeah, you know what that means.