Obama and the Gay Old Party

It would appear that Larry Craig is far from the only closeted Republican lawmaker. And if these reports have any substance to them, the Obama White House is about as straight as a male chorus line on Broadway:

Last month, Blagojevich’s trial judge, U.S. District Court judge James Zagel, a crony of former Illinois Republican Governor Jim Thompson, ruled that all 500 hours of phone calls intercepted and taped by Fitzgerald could not be played during Blagojevich’s trial as demanded by Blagojevich and his defense lawyers. Blagojevich demanded that Fitzgerald “show up in court and explain to everybody . . . why you don’t want those tapes that you made played in court.”

WMR has learned that the tapes may contain salty references Obama’s and Emanuel’s private lives…. Blagojevich’s trial is scheduled to begin on June 3 and Fitzgerald’s main interest is to keep the trial focused on Blagojevich, especially after he managed to “flip” Blagojevich’s former chief of staff John Harris to testify against the impeached and ousted governor. WMR learned from informed sources that one lawyer on Harris’s defense team is involved in a gay partner scandal that was discovered by the attorney’s wife.

Some of the wiretaps may reveal that it was not Valerie Jarrett, Obama’s longtime friend and current White House policy adviser who was Obama’s top candidate to fill his U.S. Senate seat, but the young 32-year old “pick up basketball” friend of Obama, Giannoulias, then serving his second year as state Treasurer. However, Obama has avoided campaigning for Giannoulias in Illinois and there are indications that the president has “thrown Giannoulias under the bus,” according to some Democratic political circles in Chicago.

Mutiple Chicago sources report that Republicans who see Giannoulias’s Obama connections as providing an edge in his Senate race this year should not celebrate prematurely. Giannoulias’s GOP opponent, U.S. Representative Mark Kirk, a Naval Reserve intelligence officer, has also been identified as a closeted gay man. Kirk divorced his wife last year after an eight-year marriage. They had no children.

In addition, U.S. Representative Aaron Shock, who took over the House seat vacated by Obama’s Republican Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, is, according to Chicago Boy’s Town sources, a habitué of Minibar, a noted gay bar in Chicago’s gay district. For an extremely young first term member of the House, observers were surprised when GOP Minority Whip Eric Cantor of Virginia named Shock as a Deputy Minority Whip.

As insane as it all sounds, there are three factors that suggest it might not be entirely fiction. First, where are Obama’s old girlfriends? Unlike every other president, they just don’t seem to exist and there’s hardly a woman alive who once had an even remotely notable lover that isn’t eager to let the world know that they were once an item. If a woman has ever dated a musician or an athlete, she’ll be sure to let you know about it… and there is no way that a woman who was involved with a president, let alone this particular president, would keep her mouth shut.

Second, the decision of the Blagojevich judge to prevent the defense from putting the recordings made by the prosecutor on the public record is deeply suspicious. If Blagojevich walks away with nothing more than a hand slap, it will be obvious that whatever he knows is too explosive to permit it to reach the public. And third, the invitation to Sen. Bill Frist’s Brokeback-style event is precisely the sort of idiotic “hidden” message that gay artists always love to try to sneak past the straights. Of course, it could have been nothing more than an immature gay staffer’s handiwork; I once pointed out to Spacebunny no less than seven penises, including one ejaculating, on an airline’s kiddy lunch package and I tend to doubt it said anything about the CEO’s recreational pursuits.

As Instapundit likes to dryly declare, “the country is in the very best of hands.” And there is no question that Republican commentators are scenting more than a little blood in the water these days, as the American Spectator’s Peter Ferrara is now thinking that Obama won’t even serve out his full term:

Months ago, I predicted in this column that President Obama would so discredit himself in office that he wouldn’t even be on the ballot in 2012, let alone have a prayer of being reelected. Like President Johnson in 1968, who had won a much bigger victory four years previously than Obama did in 2008, President Obama will be so politically defunct by 2012 that he won’t even try to run for reelection. I am now ready to predict that President Obama will not even make it that far. I predict that he will resign in discredited disgrace before the fall of 2012.

I think the possibility of a resignation is less remote than one would normally assume due to Obama’s personality. Like Sarah Palin, Obama is a narcissistic lightweight who craved the position, not the power. He’s already “made history”, he’s clearly not enjoying himself, and he has no sense of duty, so it’s basically all downhill from here for him at this point. So, if some sort of face-saving exit is offered to him, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take it.