Mailvox: surrendering the search for happiness

It often turns out to be a very good way of finding it. AW, who also informs us that she is in the process of bidding the market adieu, writes of her experience with the blog:

For every 20 emails you get from irate, offended females, I hope you receive one like mine. My original email was about three pages long – I realized what I had done, and promptly deleted it. You don’t know me, therefore you definitely don’t care about my back story or what I’ve been through or my thoughts on women today, so it would have undoubtedly gone unread. Instead, I’m just going to thank you and tell you what you – and the Ilk – have done for me.

When I started reading your blog about two years ago, I was initially offended by the things you wrote about women. I don’t like to think of myself as a feminist, nor do I care for anything resembling female “equality”, so it wasn’t that – maybe your meanness sparks something in about 99.9% of the female population to stand up and defend whoever is being attacked (usually other women). As well it should, because you continually hold up the modern Western woman for inspection. In the glaring light of logic, common sense, decency and reason – what you write can be an ugly reality to swallow. But – it’s undeniable and avoidable, especially if you don’t want to become “that” woman. To avoid turning into the shrill, selfish harpy whose only goal in life is to be “happy” (the definition of which changes endlessly) and actually believes that fulfillment comes from pursuing that personal happiness, you have shown me that I must:

1.) Get over myself


2.) Realize that “being happy” isn’t guaranteed by getting what I think I want, even if at the expense of others. Often, the consequences of pursuing your own personal happiness causes disaster and misery to others and, eventually, yourself.

I have to say – my happiness has actually grown over the last two years. The more I discard the secular view of “womyn”, and embrace the Biblical definition of what a woman of value truly is, the richer my life, my relationships, and my walk with God becomes. It’s like shedding a disgusting piece of clothing and finding that you’ve been wearing a beautiful gown all along. While you need no encouragement from me, I do hope that you keep your blog going for a long time. I enjoy it greatly, and have learned much from you and your long-time commenters.

The simple fact of AW’s realization that complete strangers aren’t particularly interested in the minutiae of her personal history reflects how far she has evolved from the average woman today. It’s not that people don’t care at all, it’s merely that they don’t care that much. Understanding that we all live in occasionally intersecting self-orbiting universes is one of the keys to tranquility for men and women alike, although learning to stop looking to a man to provide for her ever-shifting happiness is absolutely vital for the dynamic creatures known as women.

And while it’s true that as an independent theocentric universe I have no need of external encouragement, I’m nevertheless pleased to see or hear when people demonstrate that they have not only learned something here, but been able to put it to successful use in their lives. You can always tune me out if you wish, but it’s rather more difficult to escape the remorseless logic of real life behavioral patterns that I am attempting to describe.