The obesity benefit

In shocking news, a British medical expert asserts that the uberfat just like to eat:

Obese people are often simply greedy and should not always be treated with pills, the head of the British Medical Association has said. Dr Hamish Meldrum believes an obsession with medical labels may be stopping overweight people addressing their own problems.

Despite my hypothesis that atheism is a mental disorder, I don’t believe that the medicalization of every problem is a positive development. There aren’t many causal relationships much more straightforward than the one between stuffing food in your mouth and gaining weight, so calling obesity a disease isn’t likely to lay the groundwork for accomplishing anything.

I think cannibalism is the most logical solution. It simultaneously solves the obesity and overpopulation problems, and since post-Christian humanity can resolve all ethical dilemmas through moral democracy, the only obstacle is making sure that fat people don’t vote on the matter. But the solution is simple enough, there’s no need to mess around with hacking into Diebold voting machines or anything devious like that, we can simply set up Krispy Kreme stands across the street from the voting booths and six months later, be firing up some delectable long pig on the barby secure in the knowledge that everyone had a fair chance to weigh in.