The animal conspiracy just became a little more threatening:
Chimpanzees living in the West African savannah have been observed fashioning deadly spears from sticks and using the tools to hunt small mammals — the first routine production of deadly weapons ever observed in animals other than humans.
I’m not going to worry too much until they show signs of developing projectile weapons, but I would recommend a preemptive strike on the savannah before we find ourselves being forced to serve as naked shock troops and tree-borne wait staff for our new chimpanzee overlords.
Look, people, either we start taking this evolutionary competition seriously or we’re doomed to interspecies servitude. You can’t tell me those hairy long-armed bastards aren’t gunning for the top spot on the gene pole, and we already know the squirrels and sting rays are on their side.