Beware the Belichick

DJ Gallo is actually funny on occasion:

New England very nearly lost to the Detroit Lions. At home. But of course the Patriots are fine heading into the playoffs. It would be wrong to question them in any way. Anyone who looks past the Pats is simply falling into Bill Belichick’s trap. Underestimate him at your own risk, but all you will see is a loss. And your wife in his arms.

You might not think that Bill Belichick is an irresistible romantic force. You might look at those sagging shoulders, that ratty, sleeveless old grey hoody that he wears with almost a complete absence of the panache displayed by clothes horses like Mike Nolan and Pat Riley, that bleary-eyed seeming indifference to life, the universe and everything, and conclude that here is a man who has no chance with any woman, let alone yours.

And that’s just what Bill wants you to think. Because he is the cobra of love. What most people don’t realize is that Tom Brady actually looks like Martin Gramatica and throws like Tim Robbins, only the Belichick has mesmerized everyone into believing differently.

In like manner, Brad Johnson is actually a washed-up, ex-quarterback who has lost his ability to read a defense… okay, that’s not fair. I like Brad as a backup, but I still don’t know what Childress was thinking by deciding to go with him as a starter. Of course, it could be worse. He could be Rex Grossman.

Yikes, that may have been the worst quarterbacked game I’ve seen in my life.