Safe, secular and single

I don’t think most men need to worry about marrying a serial husband-killer, but this commenter at Dr. Helen’s blog offers some good advice anyhow:

As I see it, the objectives for any young man these days should be as follows:

1. Make absolutely 100% certain that at least until you are in your early/mid thirties, you don’t get married, don’t get any woman pregnant and if whatever legal jurisdiction you are in has or gets palimony laws, you don’t get involved in any ‘relationship’ with a woman whereby she can lay claim to your assets or future income.

2. Get your career on track

3. Live abroad for a while – if you don’t do it in your twenties, you probably won’t do it until you retire, if at all.

4. While you’re living abroad, get a foreign passport and bank account. Choose a country that is not overly compliant with your current jurisdiction and if possible make sure the bank account is non-interest bearing so you don’t have to declare it on you tax forms. Never transfer money to or from that account.

5. Never go near a woman who is a feminist, a divorcee, claims she has been abused or is otherwise weird or has a victim mentality.

I’d add one more point:

6. Unless you are religious or want children, don’t even consider marriage. Seriously, there are tremendous potential costs and comparatively few potential benefits for men in marriages without those two elements, given that so few women now view marriage as a prerequisite to a full and intimate relationship. And given the current child support laws, even the motivation of wanting children is unreliable. If you’re only popping the question because she’s pressuring you, well, all I can say is enjoy your slide into Gamma Male Hell.

While there are women who aren’t self-centered sociopaths ready to unleash the full fury of the man-hating “legal” system on you, they are generally the sort of traditional, religious women who won’t cohabitate or engage in a faux marriage relationship in the first place. It’s really not all that hard to distinguish the gems from the gorgons… always listen carefully to your friends and family’s opinions, it’s much harder to fool those who don’t aren’t being provided with a constantly reinforcing endorphin-reward loop.

It’s hard to imagine a single reason to marry a woman who isn’t a believing and practicing Christian, (unless I was Jewish, Muslim or whatever). Well, I suppose there’s the whole heiress/rich girl game henceforth to be known as the “Federline”, but unless she’s worth a lot more than you are financially, why would you bother? More importantly, how can you afford to dare?