The Sports Guy teams up with a reader to demonstrate proper bitch-slapping technique:
“During their most recent loss to the Rams, Lions’ radio color commentator Jim Brandstatter said that fantasy football was for ‘people with no lives.’ My buddies and I were trying to put this statement into context, and compared it to a NASCAR announcer talking about how stupid watching cars go around in a circle is, or a Catholic priest telling his parishioners that the Bible probably shouldn’t be taken literally….”
The radio color commentator for the worst football franchise of this decade just told me that I don’t have a life. I’m a little shaken, frankly. It’s like being called short by Mike Fratello. How do you regroup?
Yes, because real football is so much more significant to everyday life than fantasy football… seriously, what is wrong with some people. The Sports Gal loathes fantasy sports too, her rant this week is a tribute to the immortal spirit of woman.
“I can’t believe I married someone who needed a second phone line to talk about a fake baseball team…. I hate the League of Dorks.”
(This just goes to show that Spacebunny is far superior to the Sports Gal. The Sports Gal bitches about Simmons fantasy leagues, Spacebunny had jerseys made for both my team and my old team. I’m starting to suspect she arranged to have them hexed beforehand, though, since her Wallabies (Young Daniel manages it for her) won the title that year and the White Buffalo last year. And I’m off to an 0-4 start this year….
I can’t really blame her, though. When I finally do win the Loki Cup, I’m going to have a ring made with enough cubic zirconium to make a real Super Bowl ring look tasteful.