On valuing women

I think my favorite response to the now-notorious Forbes article has to be the following one. Apparently the writer doesn’t realize the irony of how she is making a stronger case against men marrying ANY woman, than Mr. Noer was against career women.

No more sex for Noer. I wish there was a website where you could warn other women to keep away from men like Michael Noer. If this article gets around he may never have sex again, which would be for the best because he strikes me as someone who doesn’t really value women.

Now, while I have been accused of hating women, I have never been accused of not valuing them. And in fact, as an economics major, I daresay I can do it rather more precisely than most. Given the amount of financial information related to the subject available on the Internet, the valuation is pretty straightforward.

The price of a woman’s sexual favors ranges from approximately \$3.75/hour at the very low end to an average of \$1,500/hour at the extreme high end. I’d estimate that the average female value works out to around \$50 per hour for all ages, sizes and levels of attractiveness, enthusiasm and skill, so given that the average sexual encounter lasts 28 minutes and taking into account that Americans average 58 such encounters per year, the sexual worth of average American woman is \$1,353.33 per annum.

Not a lot of money, is it. That’s why using sex as a weapon is such a prodigiously stupid idea, as sex is simply not a very powerful weapon for the average woman. It does work for some fortunate women of high sexual value, of course; one can work out the specific sexual value of any individual woman according to the following formula:

P = price per hour. Ranges from \$3.75 (emaciated crack whore) to \$1,500 (Marissa Miller in a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders outfit tuned up with Dom and a candlelight dinner overlooking the Arno).
E = length of average encounter in minutes
N = number of monthly encounters

Therefore, SVW = (P*(E/60)*(N*12). Anything over \$10,000/year is quite good, only the financial elite, the egregiously handsome or the famous and powerful can expect to regularly obtain the favors of women in the \$50,000+ category.