Pretty Lady corrects a clumsy suitor:
Pretty Lady had to chastise the Pundit, once upon a time, not so long ago, whilst the Pundit was still single and actively chasing females on Nerve.com. He complained to her, “I get chatting with a woman, and everything seems to be going fine until I give her my phone number. Then things just trail off.”
Hello? Pretty Lady was momentarily speechless…. “Once you give them your phone number?” she inquired.
“Yes, I don’t want to ask for theirs, lest they think I’m stalking them,” the Pundit replied. “That way they can decide whether to call me or not.”
Gentlemen, I respect your delicacy, but listen to me: never do that. Please.
The poor Pundit was falling into a trap made of false liberalism. His motives were pure; unfortunately, too many of the motives of those who went before him were not. Thus I had to explain to him what these women already knew; that a man who gives a woman his phone number is generally either 1) insecure, submissive, passive-aggressive and pathetic; or 2) an arrogant user who sows phone numbers as seeds for booty calls. In effect, such a man is saying, “I don’t want to get entangled, but if you want sex with no strings, give a buzz and I’ll oblige you. If I’m free.”
This is why you have to read things all the way through before jumping in with both feet. I was on the verge of taking exception, as I quite liked the hassle-free, sensitive, New Age equalitarian male approach of giving a promising girl a number and telling her to call, when I hit (2), in much the same manner as Wile E. Coyote encounters a cliff. Ah, well. As usual, the Lady is on target with regards to matters romantic.
However, regardless of who calls whom, I can assure you that it is VERY important to remember what name you’ve given out. For some strange reason, the fair sex apparently looks rather askance on a failure to remember the appellation to which one is supposed to answer.