Don Banks writes on SI:
Boomer Esiasion on CBS’s pre-game show Sunday actually said if the Vikings make the playoffs, head coach Mike Tice should have his salary quadrupled and “don’t be surprised if he’s coach of the year.”
Coach of the Year? Tice couldn’t even win Coach of the Year in his division. Ever hear of Lovie Smith, Boom? And yes we know you and Tice hail from the same neck of the woods on Long Island, and both went to Maryland, but how about a little objectivity?
I am going to go upstairs, remove the purple Vikings sweatshirt I am currently sporting, and take a shower. A long, hot one. I shall do my level best to forget that I ever read anything to this effect. Should I fail, I shall then go about seeking psychiatric help before I snap and am found frozen to death in the process of making naked snow angels to spell out FIRE MIKE TICE in giant letters outside Winter Park.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKISHLY BLOND GOURD, BOOMER? ARE YOU EVIL OR ARE YOU MAD? DO YOU PARTICULARLY HATE THE VIKINGS OR JUST MINNESOTANS IN GENERAL? AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
UPDATE – okay, I am feeling calm now. I am at peace, I am at one with the world in all its vicissitudes, with the NFL and with the Vikings. Now that I am capable of thinking soberly about this, I have concluded that Boomer Esiason is in the pay of Matt Millen, who realizes that his only hope of winning the NFC Central – yes, I know, shut up, I still haven’t accepted the 16-game season – is to encourage even greater incompetence than he can muster. He’s already done the Packers in with Sherman, the Vikings with Tice, and Lovie Smith was a devious plot that went horribly wrong due to Millen’s racist miscalculations.
By the way, there are few individuals I hate in the world, but Matt Millen may top the list. I still remember every single Packers-Vikings game wherein he would spend the entire game slagging the Vikes under the nominal guise of a color commentator.
How does he still have a job anyhow? Hey, maybe Millen can hire Tice!!! Now THAT would be perfect!